You didn't lose me, you let me go
by Last.one.02
Summary: Meredith and Derek broke up. Mark is catching Meredith, and Derek is seeing nurse. Does Derek want her back ? Okay, what about when there is McBaby comin' ? or if she founds anyone else ? MerDer, but others too Slight NCIS crossover since chap 17
1. INTRO

Meredith Grey looked at the MRI results of her patient. He has an anerysm, and it means that it is neurological problem and it means that she has to talk to Derek... or dr. Shepherd to be exact. She looked at the door, and he walked in. Her ex-boyfriend, her ex- McDreamy... her ex...

'' You paged, '' he said and put on a McDreamy smile.

'' Um, yes, my patient has an anerysm, page dr. O'Malley if you want intern to scrub in, '' She said and left the room.

Derek looked after her, her body moved still the same it used to, when they were still together, but in her eyes was something that he didn't know, she seemed to know what she wants. She was sure of some things, and that's the biggest difference. He quickly looked at scans and paged George.

***

Meredith walked to front desk and started charting. While she was writing, Rose came to front desk.

'' Hey. Have you seen Derek ? '' Rose asked.

'' I paged him before, but it was 30 minutes ago. I left him looking at patient films. He has anerysm. '' Meredith said without looking up.

'' You sure that you haven't seen him. We were on-call room, but then someone paged him or something and he promised to be back, but he's still missing. '' Rose said with a smile.

'' If I see him, then I tell him that you are looking for him, '' Meredith said, closed the chart and left.

Rose looked after her and smiled to herself, she is not a competition anymore, she is history for Derek. But just in case she followed her.

***

Meredith walked to basement, she needed a bit rest. A minute without Rose and Derek. Now she gets what Addie felt year before. Maybe that's the reason she left...Maybe. Meredith sat on bench that was still there. She had been there so many times with Cristina, Izzie, George and Alex. She pulled her knees close to her body and closed her eyes. She opened them, when someone was coming, She opened her eyes – Derek. There are only 2 people she wants to avoid and they seem to find their way to her.

'' Hey. I thought you were here. '' Derek said softly.

'' I thought you doesn't want me anymore , '' Meredith said, closing her eyes again. '' I wanna be alone,'' she added.

'' We need to talk about some things. '' Derek said and sat next to her.

'' Like what ? '' Meredith said and rose her eyes. ''I don't want to have anything to do with you. ''

'' But I think we have to talk about some things. My clothes are still there, when can I get them ? ''

'' Come tomorrow, Izzie or Alex are home, I pack your things tonight. ''

'' But what if I want to see you ? '' Derek smirked.

'' Then you have to disappoint, you won't see me outside this hospital, ''

'' Meredith, what did I do to make you this upset ? ''

'' Nothing, people who are broken up are not usually in best terms. Have you seen me hanging out with Mark after work ? ''

'' This is not the same thing, '' Derek said getting angry.

'' Maybe it is, now I gotta go, bye, ''

'' Meredith...'' Derek yelled after her, but she didn't look.

Derek looked until she was out of his sight and then hit the wall. His hand started to bleed and he left the basement.

***

Rose listened as Meredith and Derek spoke. Anger rose inside of her, Derek still wanted Meredith, but at least Meredith is over Derek. She saw Meredith walking away and then Derek hitting the wall and then also leaving. She looked after her boyfriend and then went and sat down on bench. She had to figure something out, when she wants to keep Derek close, 'cause Meredith can't hold back forever. Derek is still the dream of every woman.

***

Mark Sloan saw Meredith walking away from Derek, then from Rose and now from basement. She seemed to break down any minute, and maybe that's what makes her so attractive. She looked hot to every man whore, but also every guy around. Mark looked her going to front desk again and charting. He saw Derek going on her direction and then decided to move.

'' Hey Meredith. Would you like to have a drink after work today ? '' Mark said.

'' I am not so sure, but I guess I can offer you company. '' Meredith said and winked.

'' That would be great, when are you finishing tonight ? ''

'' At seven. You ? ''

'' Same time. I wait you in lobby, if that's okay ? '' Mark asked.

'' Sure, Mark. ''

Suddenly Derek was standing behind Meredith.

'' You are not going out with him, Mere. '' Derek said angrily and looked Mark.

'' And why, if I may ask, '' Meredith said as she turned to Derek.

'' Because I say so, and you do as I say, '' Derek said to Meredith '' Don't even try to touch her, I am not even telling what happens if you touch or sleep with her. '' he said turning to Mark.

'' And what if he steps over your rules, the same as I ? If I remember correctly, then you have now power over me, but him... '' Meredith said and took one step closer to Mark.

'' You don't wanna know. I don't want 2 women I love make the same mistake with him, I am warning you both. '' Derek said and looked at Mark and Meredith.

Meredith had moved close to Mark now. She stood in front of Mark and looked Derek. He looked Mark once more and then left the desk.

'' So, are you still interested ? '' Mark asked Meredith.

'' Absolutely. '' Meredith said as she watched Derek walking away.

***

Alex rushed into one on-call room and sat on bed. Without even looking if it is empty, he hit the wall and let go of his tears. He had hurt Izzie again, and that's the last thing he wanted. She is Izzie, his friend, roomie, co-worker and lover. He cried on bed.

'' Do you feel better now ? '' male voice asked him. Alex looked up, and saw George waking up in another bed.

'' I guess not, what are you doing here ? '' Alex answered and sat back on another bed.

'' Sleeping, that's what usually is done here, '' George said and stood up.

'' Not in this hospital, '' Alex told.

'' I guess. Good luck with Izzie, she is not the person she used to be anymore. Fix what you broke. '' George said and left on-call room.

***

Cristina stepped into Joe's, only Izzie was there. She walked to her and ordered tequila.

'' Bad day ? '' Izzie asked as Cristina drank.

'' Yeah, you ? '' Cristina said after her first shot.

'' Totally. Alex is jerk, you know that ? She is angry with me, because Ava or Rebecca came out to be not pregnant and I told her that. What's wrong with you ? ''

'' Burke won a prize of his work. I did his surgeries while he had shaky-shaky hand and he even didn't mention me. '' Cristina said and ordered her third shot.

'' What's wrong with us ? George failed his intern exam, Alex is fooling around with crazy-lady, Meredith broke up with McBastard, you have troubles with Burke, although he is not here and Alex is pissing me off. Why it can't be easy ? '' Izzie said

'' I don't know, '' Cristina answered and emptied another tequila shot.

***

Callie sat on couch and thought about Erica Hahn. Sexy heart surgeon and her good friend. When Mark told about her falling in love with another woman, if freaked her out, but also didn't leave her mind. She has never been with another woman, she liked.... likes penis. But Erica's soft lips and warm body were on her mind instead of Mark doing McNasty with her. She is not falling for Erica, is she ?

Callie turned off the lights and closed her eyes, tomorrow will be another day she told herself. But a possibility of Erica Hahn as her girlfriend kept her awake.

***

George O'Malley walked into his new home, crappy apartment that he shares with Lexie Grey, Meredith's half sister and his new best friend. Lexie had gone out, but she made dinner before. George took of his jacket and sat on couch. Could he and Lexie be something more that just friends ? Can he fall for another Grey ? No it is not possible, it is not happening... he said to himself and grabbed dinner.

***

_What is the first sign of love ?? - Denial. _

**It is sort of my first story... It will be MerDer, but at the beginning is like introducion of everybody... It is set in somewhere at the end of 4th season... Somewhere there. :) .Hope you like and review please (A) .**

**Liina  
**


	2. Complications, relationships and drama

Meredith ended her shift at 7 pm., and after changing clothes and shower, she found herself going to bar next street with Mark Sloan, a manwhore. Mark was polite, he helped her with coat and hold doors open. In bar she found Cristina and Izzie sitting and both were drinking, Mark ordered drinks, and Meredith picked out a table. She saw that Rose and Derek are sitting at next table. When Mark came with drinks she took her vodka and tonic and drank it with one sip.

'' Do you want another one ? '' Mark asked.

'' No, I want tequila shots, a lot of them, '' Meredith said, and Mark knew exactly why. Mark came back with 4 tequilas and they started to talk about everything.

After awhile Mark asked her for a drink, but she was completely drunk by then. She let Mark took to lead and just did her best to stand up. Mark saw Derek looking at them with anger in his eyes. It was much more intense that when Derek caught him sleeping with Addie. Mark winked to him. Derek stood from his chair and separated Mark and Meredith. He grabbed Meredith's arm and pulled her with him. Meredith fought against him, but Derek decided to do something unexpected. He pulled her close to him, she was still fighting against him, but he kissed her. She was fighting against him and wasn't willing to open her mouth, but it was like autopilot, and she stopped fighting, she stopped rejecting.

When she realized what was happening, she pushed Derek away, said ''McBastard'' and slapped his face. Then she went to Mark and ordered him to take her home. Mark payed bill and drove her home.

***

'' You kissed her, you kissed your ex ! What should I think of it ? '' Rose yelled

'' Sorry, it was accident, it won't happen again, '' drunk Derek answered.

'' This is your slutty intern, you cannot talk with her, look at her, you must not kiss or sleep with her, okay ? 'Cause if you do, then we are over. ''

'' But what if we are in surgery together, can't I ask anything, to make her better surgeon ? ''

'' No, you don't want her to be better surgeon. You must want her to leave. Got it ? ''

'' You are not saying what I can do, get it ? If I want to kiss her, then I'll kiss, if I want to sleep with her, then I'll do it. You are not here to tell me what I can do and what can't, '' Derek yelled, as he was getting angry

'' Honey, I am sorry. I didn't want to get mad, but I get jealous if you kiss someone else. Please try to get me, '' Rose pleaded

'' I am sorry, I shouldn't have kissed her, I am sorry I am such a jerk. '' Derek said

Rose hugged her, and Derek saw Mark taking Meredith away and he realized that he is losing her, he is losing his soulmate, over a nurse. This angry thing is not working, there must be something, that he can do to get close to her. He felt Rose kissing him, he kissed back, thinking of Meredith. They went to Derek's trailer that night, together. Rose hoped that maybe that would be the day she can get laid finally.

***

Meredith had fallen asleep in car and so Mark carried her up, to her room. Meredith opened her eyes, when Mark was putting her on bed, she didn't let go his neck and Mark looked into her eyes.

'' Sure you want to do this ? '' He asked.

'' Yes. I mean no. I can't, you are legend, I get it, but I'm sorry, ''Meredith said released him.

'' Derek is still the one. I get it. Can I at least get a kiss goodnight ? '' Mark said and smiled.

Meredith nod and Mark kissed her. It was a hot kiss, but that's it.

'' You can sleep here, if you want, '' Meredith said as Mark was leaving.

'' Okay, '' Mark answered and took off his clothes, beside boxers. He climbed into Meredith's bed and fell asleep soon after Meredith. But he was proud of himself and Meredith too. She wasn't into those one night stands anymore, and he can sleep in girl's bed without having sex with her.

***

Rose waited in bed naked, while Derek took shower. When he came out, he looked at Rose and and covered himself with towel.

'' Honey, come here, I have things to show you, '' Rose said with flirty voice.

'' Just in sec, I take my pyjamas, and I'll be right there, '' Derek said, when he went to another room.

''This activity doesn't include any clothes, Der, you can come without, '' Rose yelled back.

'' Oh, right, '' was all Derek said.

He thought about ways to say no, their relationship was not that long, that there has to be sex, but she wanted, and he can't say no, after day like this. He had Meredith back in his arms, and now someone else wants to have sex with him. Maybe only thought that Meredith is doing the same thing with Mark made him go to Rose without any clothes, maybe he wanted to forget Meredith for a second.

***

Meredith woke up next morning in her bed and saw Mark sleeping next to her. She looked at him and saw that he had boxers on and so had her night clothes. She signed with relief, she hadn't sleep with Mark. She moved from bed and went to bathroom. She looked her face in mirror and she saw someone else. She couldn't recognize her face, it was different, at some point, or actually she had done things, that she normally wouldn't.

'' What the hell are you doing, Meredith Grey ? '' She asked herself.

She brushed her teeth and took shower, but back in her room, Mark was awake and dressed.

'' Good morning Beautiful, '' he said

'' Morning Mark, '' Meredith said.

Meredith changed clothes and went downstairs. Alex and Izzie were there, drinking coffee and eating breakfast. They both looked at her, like they wanted to say anything, but didn't dare.

'' Don't say anything, '' Meredith said as she took aspirin and water.

'' Coffee ? '' Alex asked and handed her a cup.

'' Thanks, '' Meredith said and sat down.

'' You are screwed, '' Izzie assured her, '' Sleeping with Mark Sloan, a manwhore, what were you thinking ? ''

'' I didn't sleep with him. He slept in my bed, true, but I didn't sleep with him.'' Meredith told.

'' Wow, I am proud of you girl You can resist Mark Sloan in your own bed, while you are drunk. This is something new, '' Alex said

'' Yeah. But I saw that Derek kissed me in bar, in dreams while Mark was sleeping next to me, how weird is that ? '' Meredith said.

'' Mere, that Derek kissing you in bar, really happened, last night, you made a scene there, '' Izzie said.

'' Good morning. Can I get a cup of coffee ? '' Mark said as he walked into kitchen.

'' Here, '' and Alex handled him a cup.

They had a easy chat over breakfast and

'' Crap ! We're late, '' Meredith discovered.

They finished their coffee and drove to work. Alex, Izzie and Meredith went with Meredith's car and Mark drove alone. Since it was only 6 am, only interns and residents were in hospital, and Mark went to hotel before work, he still had 2 hours.

***

'' So, how good Sloan was ? '' Cristina asked as Meredith, Izzie and Alex walked into residents locker room.

'' I didn't sleep with him, '' Meredith said.

'' You so did. Beside, you are Meredith – a drunk abandoned girl – and he is a manwhore, you slept with her, you can fool Bambi or Barbie, but not me, '' Cristina said

'' Whatever, '' Meredith said and turned her attention to her locker. Izzie and Alex laughed at that.

'' What ? '' Meredith yelled.

'' Are you still saying that you didn't sleep with him ? '' Cristina smirked

'' Yes. But what if I did. Why my personal life is judged by everybody else ? '' Meredith yelled, and left the locker room.

'' Now you really got her mad, Yang, nice job, '' Alex said and left too.

'' What's wrong with them ? '' Cristina asked.

'' Have no idea, but you pissed Alex off, '' Izzie answered and left too.

'' What's going on here ? Meredith came out angry, Alex looked pissed and Izzie has not a smile on her face. What did you do this time ? '' George asked as he walked in.

'' I have no idea, '' Cristina said nicely and left George alone in locker room.

'' Seriously ! What's going on ?! '' George yelled as Cristina shut the door.

'' Morning George. What the hell is wrong with your friends ? '' Callie said as she walked in and was still confused about 4 best residents behavior.

'' I really don't know, '' George said and he left the locker room too.

'' Why I am the only one who doesn't get anything ? '' Callie said to herself and changed her clothes.

***

Chief resident Miranda Bailey paged all her residents to front desk and made assignments. She looked that her former interns who are always together, trying to get the best cases are now separated, not a single word came out of their lips. Cristina was standing next to Bailey, Izzie on Bailey's other side, Meredith looked from the distance, she sat on chair, George looked at Alex, who was in last row.

'' Grey, Yang, Stevens, O'Malley and Karev, stay here for a second, others pit, '' Bailey said.

All other residents went away and Meredith, Cristina, George, Alex and Izzie changed looks, wondering what they had done this time.

'' What is wrong with you ? '' Bailey asked directly.

'' We're fine, '' Meredith said without thinking.

'' That's the problem. You all are fine, which means that you are not okay. I can't handle your drama anymore, leave it all for time you are out of my sight. I need my residents work together, not be in corners of room. Talk about your things, but after work, now pretend that nothing is wrong and get to work. Are we clear ? '' Bailey held her long speech.

Everybody nod.

'' Okay, now assignments: Karev – Sloan requested you, O'Malley – you hang out with me today, Grey – Shepherd wanted to have you, but after rumors I think it is better if you are charting today, Yang – Hahn and Stevens – clinic. Don't embarrass me, please and now get to work. '' Bailey said and left.

Cristina, Alex, Izzie and George went into different directions right away, but Meredith stood there for awhile, but when she saw Derek coming, she was gone. Derek got a glimpse of her, but that was all and he knew that she is not in his services and he has to find another way to apologize, to make it up, everything he has done.

***

_Friends are there when you need them to. Family doesn't ask whether you want or not, they are just there._


	3. Different this time

Meredith walked in no direction. Somehow she found her way to basement, it was like her legs were moving on their own, like she has no control over her body. She had a load of charts, what Miranda Bailey had given her. She looked outside the window for a second and then focused on charts. She was so focused that she didn't hear someone coming.

'' Hey, '' a sweet male voice said in front of her.

'' What do you want ? '' Meredith said as she realized that it was Derek there.

'' Um, I wanted to say I am sorry about last night and last weeks generally. I have been a jerk and I have no right to tell who you can date or anything. I am so sorry about it, but I got mad that first it was Addie, who slept with Mark and now it is you. I just wanted to avoid it, but it can't be avoided. Please forgive me, I don't want to fight with you. Please, '' Derek said and turned his face down.

'' The damage is done Derek. We can't be friends, because last time we tried... Well that worked out really well. I am sorry to, we can be co-workers, some friendly words, eat lunch together maybe, pretend we care about each other problems, '' Meredith said and she looked her feet too.

'' I take what I can. But does it mean that I can favor you ? '' Derek smirked and looked at her.

'' No, no favoring not now or anytime in future, '' Meredith said and let out a little smile.

'' I can do that. Um, need help with charts. My patient died before the surgery, I have free time, '' Derek offered.

'' I can handle this, you can go do nasty things with Rose in on-call room, ''

'' I don't want, beside I doubt that she is talking to me, ''

'' You fool. Go and fix this, ''

'' I don't want to. Not yet. Maybe later, ''

'' Fine, '' she said and continued charting.

Derek sat there and watched her charting until her eyes shut down and she fell asleep. Then Derek lifted her in better position. He just sat there and watched her asleep. The thing he misses a lot, but he made the decision, not her. Derek pulled her to his lap, so her head was on his shoulder. Meredith had like an auto move, that her hands held his neck. He touched her perfect body and smelled the scent of lavender in her hair. One more thing that he misses. Since Meredith needed to do charting, but she was asleep, so Derek decided to help her anyway. He held her with one arm and wrote with another. He felt like she was still his.

***

It was lunch time. Cristina was the first one to arrive and she took good table in the corner. Izzie, Alex and George came in awhile with little breaks between.

'' Where is Mer ? Has anybody seen her, 'cause she is blocking my pages and I haven't seen her. '' Cristina asked as everybody were eating, and there was a empty chair in table.

'' I saw her wondering in halls, but that was 4 hours ago, '' George said.

'' Look, Rose is eating alone too. Maybe she is doing something nasty with McDreamy, '' Izzie said.

'' No, she is not so stupid. She might be talking or something, but not sleeping with him. She is not making that mistake again. I know her that much. Although she slept with Sloan, '' Cristina told.

'' She didn't sleep with Sloan. I live in same house, I would know, '' Alex said.

'' Still, I am sure that she is not going to sleep with Derek, '' Cristina said.

'' Can we please talk about something else that Mer's personal life. I am trying to eat here, '' George complained.

'' Poor Georgie, '' Alex said.

But they still changed the subject, they talked about surgeries and everything. The distance from that morning was gone, they were still friends.

***

Meredith stirred, she was waking up. She felt someone warm holding her, and without opening her eyes, she knew that it was Derek. Derek felt her moving and waking up.

'' You're awake, '' Derek said and smiled.

'' Mhmm, how long did I sleep ? '' she asked.

'' About 3 hours or something like that. I really didn't notice when you fell asleep, '' Derek said

'' I'm sorry about that, '' Meredith said and smiled.

He looked into her eyes and so did she. She felt that moment again and made a step to go away from his lap. She removed her hands around his neck and moved a bit, but Derek now had his both arms around her.

'' Derek, what are you doing ? '' Meredith said as she was unable to move.

'' I am kissing you, '' Derek said and his lips met her.

Just like in bar Meredith tried not to go with him, but his lips were so soft and she missed them every time she saw him. She opened her mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck. But that kiss made them want more of each other and soon he was laying on top of her. She felt his erection next to her. Just a couple of minutes later they were having sex on that stretcher.

***

Rose saw Mark coming to cafeteria, alone. He sat with Callie and Erica. Rose looked around, there was no Meredith and Derek. Of course a lot of other workers were missing, but 2 of them were specially interesting to her. She ate fast and then went to look at o.r. table. Dereks' surgery had been canceled and Meredith has no surgery either.

'' Maybe Derek is looking comfort in Meredith's arms. But I should be the one that is pissed off by last night, this should be me and I should be indifferent, except I am not, I love him. What should I do ? Should I look at every on-call room for Derek ? '' Rose thought.

***

'' This shouldn't have happened. Crap, I am so stupid, stupid stupid girl. Can't keep away from my ex, how terrible, Rose is probably going to kill me... '' Meredith rambled as she was putting her clothes on.

'' Relax, Mere. Like we haven't done it before, '' Derek tried to relax her.

'' Fix your hair. Do I have sex hair ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Your hair is okay, Meredith. Relax, no-one saw and if you want to keep it as a secret then fine, don't tell to anyone. I won't, I can tell you, '' Derek said softly.

He moved close to her and fixed her lab coat and hair, and placed a kiss on her lips. This time Meredith pushed him away,

'' I can't you have someone else and then I would be a home wrecker again. I am gonna go now, '' she said, took her charts and left basement.

***

Meredith went to cafeteria. She bought coffee and sandwich, then sat down with Cristina, Alex, Izzie and George.

'' Where have you been ? '' Cristina asked.

'' Charting. I was down basement, there is calm and no-one to mess with me, '' Mer said without raising her eyes from coffee.

'' What about Shepherd ? '' Cristina continued.

'' What about him ? '' Mer said quickly.

'' He wasn't here too. Did you two, you know, did nasty-nasty ? '' Alex smirked.

'' No ! I think he is in surgery or something. Why I should know ? '' Meredith asked and ate her sandwich.

'' Sure you didn't sleep with him ? '' Izzie asked after awhile.

'' Yes ! '' Meredith yelled over the cafeteria. '' Just leave me alone, I try to eat here... '' she added.

'' I told you. She is not so stupid to have sex with her ex, '' Cristina said.

''You never know, this is Mer that we are talking about, '' Izzie said.

'' I am sitting over here by the way, '' Meredith said.

'' Sorry. So has anybody good surgeries ? '' George asked changing subject.

***

'' Here you are, '' Rose said as she saw Derek coming.

'' Hey, '' Derek said, '' Aren't you mad anymore ? ''

'' No, I couldn't I am too in love with you, '' Rose said and kissed him.

'' Great. I gotta go now, surgery, '' Derek said and left Rose.

'' Bye, '' Rose yelled after him.

'' What you did is pretty unforgivable, but Meredith Grey is not getting you, '' Rose thought as last night came to her mind.

***

'' Hey Iz, wanna grab a drink ? '' Alex said as they were changing in locker room.

'' I don't know, should I ? '' Izzie asked.

'' Yeah, tonight is on me, '' Alex smiled.

'' I guess then I have to come, '' Izzie smiled and looked at Alex.

'' Anyone going to Joe's tonight, 'cause I need a drink or two ? '' George asked as he walked into locker room.

'' 007 coded again ? '' Alex smirked.

'' It's not funny Alex, I lost a kid in surgery. She was in bad condition when she came in, but still. Are you going or do I have to find Meredith ? '' George asked.

'' Yeah, I meet you there, '' Izzie said as she and Alex walked out of the door.

''… and Hahn let me do it all by myself, '' Cristina's voice came from distance.

'' Wow ! Wicked witch is not that wicked. Even she knows that you are good in cardio, '' Meredith answered.

'' Yeah. Are you going to Joe's too ? '' Cristina asked as she and Meredith walked into locker room.

'' Sure, '' Meredith answered, '' You going too ? '' she asked George

'' Mhmm, I lost a kid in o.r. Before, '' George said.

'' Get over it Bambi, everybody will kill somebody eventually, '' Cristina said with annoyed voice.

'' She held a heart today, '' Meredith explained.

'' Okay. See you there ? '' George asked as he walked to door.

'' Sure, '' Meredith and Cristina yelled.

'' What's going on with you and Shepherd ? '' Cristina asked as they were alone there.

'' I don't know, '' Meredith said.

'' You slept with him ? ''

'' Yes. ''

'' Where ? ''

'' In basement. ''

'' When ? ''

'' Before lunch. I don't know how it happened. I was charting and then he was there and then I fell asleep and woke up in his lap and then he kissed me and suddenly we were having sex... ''

'' You can't keep your hands off him. ''

'' Cristina !! ''

'' This time I am judging. ''

'' It was nothing and it will never happen again. ''

'' I doubt that. When you make up, then you will have hot sex again. ''

'' It won't happen. It is different this time. ''

'' Sure. ''

'' Let's go now, '' Meredith said.

They took their things and went to Joe's

***

'' Mere, Cristina !! You made it !! '' drunk Izzie yelled as Cristina and Meredith entered Joe's.

'' That was quick, '' Cristina said to Meredith.

Meredith nod and they sat down with them.

'' 2 beers, '' Cristina ordered Joe.

'' Yes doctors, '' Joe said and laughed.

'' You know that you have to work tomorrow, Iz ? '' Meredith asked Izzie.

'' I'll be fine, like I have never had a hangover, '' Izzie calmed her.

'' Whatever. How are you and that new trauma guy doing ? Owen or whoever he is ? '' Alex asked Cristina.

'' We are working together if you meant that, '' Cristina said fast.

'' You so kissed somewhere, or talked about something personal or anything. I know it, '' Meredith said to her.

'' Wanna talk about your sex life ? '' Cristina changed topic.

'' No !! ''

'' Relax. Take it easy, '' George tried to calm Meredith.

A couple of hours later.

''… and I did it all by myself. Guess who is new cardio god, '' Cristina said after way too many drinks.

'' But I did charting, and that was way too boring, '' Meredith said.

'' I had flue patients and some sutures and this usual stuff, '' Izzie said.

'' At least you practiced medicine, '' Meredith said.

'' I did appendectomy with Bailey and then tried to save a car crash girl, but she died, '' George said.

'' I did a face lift with Sloan. He let me assist, '' Alex said.

'' I hate you all, '' Meredith said and ordered another beer.

'' Maybe we should start going, it is 2 am and we have to work tomorrow, '' Alex said.

'' Yeah, '' Izzie agreed.

They payed their bill and left the bar. On their way out Meredith saw Derek drinking scotch, she waved him and then left. He waved back, but she never saw it.

***

'' Do you want to go home ? '' Rose asked Derek, when it was 4 am.

'' Home ? '' Derek asked.

'' Okay, our future home, trailer, '' Rose said. '' Talking about it, have you thought of building us a home, on your land. ''

'' No, you can go. I go to hospital after, '' Derek said and emptied his glass.

'' Sure, 'cause I can show you something good, ''

'' I don't want to. Go away. I'm fine right here without you ! '' Derek yelled, payed his bill and left bar.

He went to hospital, to his office and fell asleep on his couch.

***

Rose stood frozen in bar. He just yelled at her, and now he is gone. She is not losing him, no way that Derek is going to Meredith again, she has to keep Derek. Maybe saying that she is pregnant... Whatever. She needed a plan, but not in this moment. Tomorrow, she has tomorrow off, perfect time to figure something out.

***

_Revenge is not a solution, if someone has done you nothing terrible. _

_***_

**Sorry it took me some time... Next update will be up on Wednesday I hope, but after that I will be on holiday and without internet 24.12 - 10.01. So I won't update for 2,5 weeks, but I promise to write something longer if you are still reading :) .**

**Liina**


	4. The love of my life

She woke up in her bed next morning. Her head hurt and she ran to bathroom. She showered and then went downstairs. Cristina and George stayed there too, so kitchen was full of people. Meredith noticed that only Alex was fine. True, he was sober last night, but everybody else were pretty drunk. Izzie, George and Cristina were drinking coffee, but they didn't look so good. Alex laughed at them. They drove to work all windows opened, it helps with hangover.

'' How the hell am I gonna make it ? '' Cristina asked as they went into locker room.

'' I would be happy to be on scut again, '' Meredith said.

'' Bailey will kill us, '' George said.

'' Why Bailey's gonna kill you ? '' Bailey said as he walked in.

'' Um, no reason, '' Cristina said before others.

'' Why I don't believe it ? What's the reason ? '' Bailey asked again.

'' Actually, the reason is that.... , '' George started.

''... we all want to be on scut or do charting, '' Alex finished.

'' There was a accident in my house. Water was leaking, '' Meredith explained.

'' And none of us really got any sleep, it was water everywhere, '' Izzie said.

'' Beside it took away our electricy. I haven't even had coffee yet, '' Cristina told.

'' And we are hoping to have the job that usually no-one wants to do, '' Meredith said.

They all looked at Bailey, who looked at them curious. She was hoping that her gaze will bring something more out.

'' Fine. Yang and O'Malley – scut, Karev and Stevens – charts, Grey – a word with you, '' Bailey said.

Meredith stayed in locker room, when others went away. Bailey sat down on bench beside her.

'' Grey. Meredith. I usually don't ask anything like this from resident. Usually I would be indifferent, but I need a favor. Or actually you need to do a favor to everybody in here, '' Bailey said friendly.

'' Fine, whatever. Tell me what I have to do and I will do it, '' Meredith said.

'' There is a patient in E.R. He is asking for you and I really doubt that you want to go there, but I need you to do this. Please, '' Bailey said.

'' As long as it is not my father, I don't care, '' Meredith said getting curious.

'' This is Finn Dandridge. He has some sutures to do and also head trauma. He needs Shepherd, but he is requesting you, '' Bailey said.

'' Oh, god. Can I do charting instead ? I am not feeling so good either, '' Meredith pleaded.

'' Well, it seems that you had history with him and beside he is good man. There might get tension between Shepherd and him. You know them both and can take care of that. So please go there and make sure that both men will be okay and not fighting, '' Bailey said, looking into her eyes.

'' Fine. But I want to get surgery tomorrow for this, ''

'' We'll see Meredith. '' Bailey smiled.

'' Did she actually smile ? '' Meredith asked herself.

'' What did Mer do this time ? '' Alex said as they walked out of the locker room.

'' Um... She didn't kill anybody, did she ? '' Izzie asked.

'' No, maybe Bailey is curious about this water leaking, it is her house and we all know it, '' George offered.

'' No, it is something more important. But I don't know what exactly, but something is going on, '' Cristina said as she wondered about the same thing.

They reached the front desk, Izzie took charts, gave half to Alex and they went to basement, Cristina and George went to do their thing.

Derek headed to pit and saw familiar guy waiting for him. Finn Dandridge, a guy who tried to take Meredith from him and now he has lost her anyway.

'' Hey Finn, '' he said as he want to Finn. '' What's the problem ? ''

'' Derek ?! '' Finn said as he was surprised, '' I believe I requested someone else, ''

'' I am the head of neuro and all cases are given to me or something, I can get you intern you want, if you know someone, but I don't think I need a resident, unless you want to have someone special in your case, '' Derek said as he did some tests on him.

'' Actually a resident is assigned here, '' Meredith said as she walked there, '' Bailey sent me, '' she explained to Derek.

'' Okay, run him some tests, but he is taken to room soon. I would like to have a word with you in mean time, '' Derek said as he looked at Meredith.

'' Okay, '' Meredith said, '' I'll be waiting in your room, '' she said to Finn.

Derek gave her a touch of shoulder and followed her out of pit. Derek pulled her into on-call room and locked the door.

'' What do you want ? '' Meredith asked

'' I wanted to ask you out. I really didn't want Rose, I wanted you and now Finn is here and I am scared of losing you again and please give me another chance.'' Derek said and looked into her eyes.

'' I'm moving on. You have got so many chances, I don't know if you can get another one. Maybe I am just out of chances with you. I don't need complicated and apparently you are complicated. '' Meredith said looking down.

'' Please. This would be the last one, I swear, '' Derek pleaded.

'' I am not promising you anything, '' Meredith said and started to leave, but Derek grabbed her hand and said: '' Please don't flirt with Finn in front of me. Otherwise I might kill him on o.r. table and you wouldn't want that, ''

'' Are you calling me a slut ? A girl that flirts with everybody around. You know what, your chance... you just lost it, '' Meredith said turning red from anger, and she unlocked the door and walked away fast.

Derek stood there couple of minutes and then walked to Finn's room. This is just a normal patient and he has to do a surgery. Simple.

Lunch time. Meredith, Cristina, Alex, George and Izzie were eating at round table. They were discussing that night plans.

''… and we can get drunk if we want. We don't need a cab or something. Cristina you can stay over, right Mer ? '' Izzie said

'' What ? Oh, yeah, sure. '' Meredith replied as her attention came back to conversation.

'' You look weird ? What did McDreamy do this time ?? Or is it McBastard ? I am not that sure which one he is, '' Alex smirked.

'' McBastard. Jack ass, '' Meredith said and sipped juice.

'' Whatever. Um, I'll finish around 8, then I'll get tequila, Alex will get limes and Mere, Cristina and George – you will make sure we get up at morning, '' Izzie said.

'' Fine, '' George said.

A pager went off and they all looked theirs, but that was Meredith's.

'' 911 on Finn. Gotta go, see you around 8.30 at my mother house, '' she said and left the table.

'' She is so screwed up, '' Cristina said.

'' Yeah, '' Alex replied.

***

'' You paged, '' Meredith said to nurse, who came out of Finn's room.

'' His stats are going down. I guess you would want to know and 911 is only page that works around here. From what I heard you had something to do with McDreamy in on-call room, '' nurse Debbie said.

'' I did not. This is really false rumor, honestly. We are done, okay ? '' Meredith said annoyingly.

'' Okay, that is okay then. Shepherd is coming too. I think that he is planning to do the surgery right away, '' Debbie said and Meredith entered the room.

'' Hey Beautiful, '' Finn said.

'' Hey. How are you feeling ? Nurse said you're stats are going under, '' Meredith said as she read the chart.

'' I'm okay, '' Finn said when Derek walked in.

'' Finn, since you are not feeling so good, we decided to move the surgery up and we are going right now. Prep her Grey and then come to o.r. 1. '' Derek said and left.

'' You two are having some kind of fight or what ? '' Finn asked.

'' No, we are fine, '' Meredith replied and quietly prepped him for surgery.

Derek was waiting for her in scrub room. He leaned on sink and watched her enter the room. He followed her with his blue eyes as she scrubbed in.

''What ? '' Meredith asked.

'' You look beautiful when you are scrubbing in, '' Derek said.

'' Whatever, '' she said and entered the o.r.

Derek came right behind her. Finn was already out and Derek started the surgery. Finn has a tumor, a common thing, something he does every day, but this case affected him more than it should. It was man you almost stole Meredith from him. He felt eager to kill the man, but Meredith stood at his left hand and she wouldn't let him do it.

2 hours later...

'' Grey, can you close up for me, '' Derek said and made room for Meredith. The surgery went good until that moment. He did everything he could and she was there all the time.

Derek watched as Meredith closed up, she did a good work. He had taught her well.

'' Good work dr. Grey, '' he said as they were in scrub room.

'' Thank you dr. Shpeherd, '' she easily replied.

They stood there in silence. Derek watched her and Meredith fought against eager to kiss him. She focused on scrubbing out and she left right after, leaving Derek there alone.

***

Meredith was in front desk when Rose walked to her.

'' Hello dr. Grey, '' Rose said.

'' Hey Rose. Do you need anything ?'' Meredith asked.

'' Yes, as the matter of fact I do. I need the father of my baby to keep his arms away from his ex-girlfriend, '' Rose said angrily.

'' Congratulations I guess. And for the record, I am keeping away from him. He is all yours, I am not a home wrecker and you can have him. Excuse me for a moment I gotta go now, '' Meredith said.

'' Bye, dr. Grey, '' Rose said and smiled to herself. She just made a big step to get rid of Meredith Grey, the woman who Derek loved. She saw Derek coming, but he made no notice of her. Derek walked after Meredith. She took the stairs and he followed.

'' Meredith, wait ! '' he yelled after her.

'' What ? '' Meredith said and turned her face to Derek's.

He moved closer and he could see that she was holding back her tears.

'' What happened ? '' he asked softly as he stood really close to her.

'' Nothing happened with me, didn't Rose tell you about her pregnancy. She is pregnant and you are going to be father. I guess you can have better kids with better DNA than with me. No Alzheimer genes. I am happy for you and I guess congratulations are in order. Be happy Derek, '' Meredith rambled and started to go away, but Derek grabbed her arm.

'' Rose is not pregnant. At least with not my child. I never slept with her. I don't want her Meredith, I want you. You are the one I love, you are the love of my life, not she, '' Derek said and looked Meredith.

She looked down and mumbled that she has to go. Derek didn't want to let go, but he did. She took couple of stairs and he stood there in place. Meredith was on half way when she blundered and fell down the stairs. Derek didn't waste a moment and ran down where she was lying.

'' Meredith, '' he said.

She opened her eyes and looked at him.

'' I am fine. Help me up, '' she said.

'' And I am the queen of England, '' he quickly replied.

He examined her and when she held her hand, so he can help her up, he just pulled her to his lap and despite of her anger he walked into hall.

'' I can walk, '' Meredith protested.

'' I know. But I am not taking chances. Your hand is broken, Callie will check it, I am taking you to her, so you have no way back, '' Derek said to her.

She opened her mouth to say something, but she closed it again and was quiet until he put her down on trauma room. He paged Callie and closed the blinds.

'' What are you doing ? '' she asked.

'' I am having an conversation with you, '' he answered and sat on edge of her bed.

'' Meredith, I meant what I said, I really want to be with you and not with Rose. I want you and not anybody else. I made a mistake that almost took you from me. I chose Addison, but if I'd have a chance to go back in time, then I would choose you of course. I wouldn't walk away or ask some time, I would stand by you from the beginning to happily ever after. If I could I wouldn't let you off my eyes, when there was a ferry boat crash, I would have been with you and never let you fall into the water. I would like to change so much things, but I know I can't, so I am trying to build up a different future, '' Derek said and looked her with his blue eyes.

'' I am sorry. Apparently I can't trust you and please give me some space, stop hovering, stop requesting me. Just be my co-worker just like everybody else are. Derek please leave, '' she said.

Derek looked at her and hugged her. He didn't care that she told him not to, but he just wanted to feel the lavender smell in her hair and her tiny body next to his. He kissed her forehead and then on cheek and looked at her.

She was angry when Derek hugged her, but his perfume and hair and his touch. She let herself free and it felt so good when he kissed her forehead and his cheek. When his eyes met hers she couldn't help but kiss him. He responded right away and deepened the kiss.

Their kiss was interrupted by Callie who walked in.

'' Whoa !! '' she said. '' you two should get a room. ''

'' Maybe we should, '' Derek smirked.

'' Derek, please go, '' she said.

Callie nodded to Derek and he left the room.

Callie put her hand in plastic.

***

Derek ran into Rose on his way to O.R.

'' I saw you talking with slutty intern, wanna talk about it ? '' Rose asked

'' I can talk to Meredith anytime I want and please don't call her like that. Or if you want then you must be the slutty nurse, '' Derek said.

'' You don't talk to me like that. We are not done with our relationship. Please give me another chance Derek, '' Rose begged.

***

Meredith walked to surgical wing, when she met Mark.

'' Hey Mere, what happened with you ? '' he asked

'' Hey Markie, I fell down the stairs, that's all, '' she answered.

'' Okay, I thought that you might wanna scrub in, but I guess you can't, '' Mark smirked.

'' Whatever. I can still be on your services, I want out of Derek's, '' she said.

'' Fine. But at this moment you might want to get some sleep, you look tired, '' he said.

'' You might be right, '' she smiled and he held a on-call room door opened.

Mark lead her inside and sat on her bedside until she was asleep. Like an angel, he thought. When he opened the door to walk out, he felt a punch on his face and saw an angry man staring at her and ready to hit again.

_When most of the things can't be fixed, then things can be made complicated by one wrong move and overthinking._

**I did it, I wrote an update, but next one will be updated on 10 January :) . Merry Christmas to everybody !!**

**And if you want to make my day, then reviws would be nice, to let me know that you are still reading and liking the story :) . Then I know to keep on updating.  
**

**Liina**


	5. Just a friend

The man hit Mark and when Mark turned his face to him, then his former best friend hit him again.

'' What the hell happened to you ?? '' Mark asked.

'' You whore, you slept with Meredith ! '' Derek yelled at him.

'' I did not ! '' Mark answered getting angry.

Derek just stared at him, ready to punch again.

'' And even if I did, then it is none of your business. You are with Rose, Meredith is free woman, '' Mark told angrily.

'' It is. You are not allowed to sleep with her. She is forbidden fruit, she is not yours. She is something much more better than you deserve, '' Derek said and attacked Mark.

They were really fighting when Chief and Bailey came there.

'' Stop you two !! Now !! '' Chief yelled.

Sleepy Meredith opened the door when Richard was trying to pull them apart.

'' Mark, stop it right now, and you too Derek, '' Meredith said.

Both men looked up and and stopped fighting.

'' Thank you, '' Meredith said and walked away.

Derek ran after her as she walked away, really angry.

***

'' What the hell was that about ? '' Chief asked Mark.

'' He thought I slept with Meredith Grey, '' Mark said.

'' Did you ? '' Chief asked getting angry.

'' No !! Why everybody think I did, '' Mark asked.

'' Because you are a manwhore, '' Chief said.

'' I am not. I am growing, '' Mark said.

'' Whatever. We are not talking about it right now. Your hand needs an ice pack and your face need some stitches, let Karev suture you up and then come to my office, '' Richard said and left.

'' Yes, sir. But are Shepherd and Grey coming too ? '' Mark asked.

'' Only Shepherd. I'll page him too, '' Chief said from distance.

***

'' Meredith ! Meredith !! '' Derek yelled as Meredith ran from him.

'' What ?! '' she finally turned.

'' You slept with Mark. Did you do it to get me angry ? 'Cause if you did, then you managed pretty well, '' Derek said.

'' I did not, I slept alone in bed with my scrubs on, '' Meredith said.

'' Then why Mark was there so long ? '' Derek asked.

'' I don't know. Maybe wanted to be sure that I am sleeping, '' Meredith said.

'' Knowing you there was something more, '' Derek said.

'' Are you calling me whore, again ?? Unbelievable, '' Meredith said and walked away.

'' You're walking away, and this is it... All I get. Great, '' Derek said.

He walked to other direction, when his pager went off.

'' Chief. It only gets better, '' he mumbled and went to elevator.

***

'' Mere, what happened ?? '' Cristina asked when Meredith walked to locker room and sat on floor.

'' Go to hall, maybe someone will tell you, '' she said without looking at Cristina.

'' Tell me. Or do you really want me to go out and hear gossip from nurses and that is much more worse than yours, '' Cristina said sitting next to her.

'' DerkthoughtIsleptwithMark'' Meredith blurted.

'' What ?? '' Cristina asked.

'' Derek thought I slept with Mark. They went fighting after and then I went between and Derek ran after me and called me slut again, '' Meredith said.

'' Whoa !! This is messy. Do you want him to think that you slept with Sloan ? ''

'' No, why should I ? '' Meredith asked.

'' To make him jealous, come on, '' Cristina said.

'' Why should I make him jealous ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Hello. That guy loves you for sure and with a little effort you can have dr. McDreamy. '' Cristina said amazed by Meredith's indifference.

'' The question is, do I want to be with him ? '' She asked, more from herself.

'' Do you love him ? '' Cristina asked.

'' Yes. No. I don't know. Do I ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Only you know that Mere. I can't help you with that. '' Cristina said.

'' I know, but why ? You know everything about me, ''

'' I know. Let's go to Joe's, let's get drunk and then you'll forget your troubles for awhile, ''

'' Okay. Meet me there, I have one thing to take care of, '' Meredith said.

'' Fine. ''

***

Mark was sitting in Chief's office with Chief, when furious Derek walked in.

'' What do you want ? '' he asked.

'' Sit down Shepherd !!'' Chief yelled.

'' Whatever, '' Derek said but sat down.

'' You two jerks are not fighting in my hospital ever again. I don't care about your reasons, but I believe I know that. Meredith Grey. '' Chief yelled.

Derek looked angrily at him and Mark fell deeper on his seat.

'' That girl is like daughter to me. I have seen her as a little girl, I saw her growing up, I knew her mother and I was there when she was born. I know her all of her life, and I don't want you two to make it hard for her. She is human like you and she can't handle with everything. Beside I promised Ellis to take care of her daughter and I am doing it. I am keeping my promise, so everything that involves her involves me. Get it ? ''

Mark nodded and Derek looked down.

'' I asked: Do you get it ? You keep your hands away from her, '' Chief yelled.

'' Yes sir, '' Mark said.

'' Shepherd ?? '' Chief asked.

'' Whatever, '' Derek said and was ready to leave.

'' Keep your hands away from her, until she is ready or you're fired and won't see her again, '' Chief said to him seriously.

'' Fine. I won't try to kiss or touch her, '' he said and walked out of door.

***

Meredith walked to Finn's room. He was awake and reading a book.

'' Hey, '' she said.

'' Hey. Are you here as doctor or visitor ? '' he asked.

'' A visitor. ''

'' Okay, ''

'' So, how are you ? ''

'' I am good. Better, with knowing that my tumor is gone. ''

'' Good. How have you been ? It is over a year already. ''

'' I have been better. I met a woman, but we didn't work out so good. ''

'' I'm sorry for that. ''

'' It's okay. How have you been ? Still with Derek ? ''

'' Um, I have been better too. So much things has happened, but I and Derek didn't work out that good. It was my fault, I was dealing with my issues and Cristina was so sad and... In conclusion a lot has happened. ''

'' Sorry to hear. So can I ask you out, after I am discharged, 'cause I heard something about not been allowed to date with patients, ''

'' I think you might be right. So, it is a date, after you are released, '' Meredith smirked.

'' I'll be waiting. ''

'' Me too. But now I gotta go, Cristina is waiting. Sweet dreams Finn. ''

'' Have fun Meredith. ''

Meredith smiled at him and left hospital.

***

Meredith entered the bar and saw Cristina drinking in corner table with Izzie, Alex and George. She ordered a beer and joined them.

'' Hey Mere. I heard that McDreamy and McSteamy fought over you before, '' Izzie asked.

'' Yeah, unfortunately. Derek thought, maybe still thinks that I slept with Mark, '' Meredith answered.

'' Did you ? '' Alex asked.

'' She did not. She is not whore as Derek said, '' Cristina said.

'' He called you whore ? Again ? '' George asked.

'' Apparently, '' Meredith said.

'' Watch out. McBastard at 1 o'clock, '' Izzie said.

'' and coming in our direction, '' Alex added.

'' Do you want me to get him out ? '' Cristina asked.

'' No, he might not come to us. And maybe I want to hear what he says, '' Meredith said and emptied her glass. She stood up to get another one, but Derek stopped her.

'' Meredith, can we talk for a moment ? '' he asked politely.

'' I am going to get a new drink, come with me and talk, '' she said.

'' Okay. Meredith, I am sorry I got out of character before. I shouldn't be so mad, but I guess I just wanted you to be still mine. And I know I lost my chance. But Meredith this time I am not begging you for another chance, because I know you have given me those more that a man can dream of. So I am not even asking for a second chance. ''

'' Joe, another beer please, '' Meredith said to Joe, as they reached there, '' What do you want then ? ''

'' I want you to forgive me, I want to be able to work with you. I get that you are not into me anymore, so I should walk away, but then I'll never know what happens with you. To get to the point, I would like to be your friend. ''

'' Why friends ? Last time it didn't work out that good, ''

'' I know, but I promise I won't try to hit on you, '' Derek said.

'' You won't ? '' Meredith asked with surprise.

'' I will if you want to, ''

'' No, it is okay. But why be friends ? '' she asked.

'' Because better friends than lose you entirely. I wanna know what is happening to you and I want to tell you my secrets. ''

'' Fine. Let's try to be friends Derek, ''

'' Good. So, have a good night Meredith, '' he said and smiled.

'' You too Derek, have fun with Rose, '' she said and smiled too.

***

'' What was that about ? '' Cristina asked, when Meredith was back.

'' He wants to be friends, and I agreed, '' Meredith said.

'' Good for you. But I think you need tequila now, not beer, '' Alex said.

'' You are right, let's go order another round for others too, '' Meredith said and went away with Alex.

'' How are things with you and Izzie ? ''

'' I don't know, how are things with you and Shepherd ? '' he asked.

'' I don't know. ''

They ordered drinks and went back to table.

***

It was almost 1 am now and most of the people had left. Meredith, Cristina, Alex, Izzie and George were almost drunk already. Cristina dragged Meredith to dance floor and others followed. They danced like no-one else was around. Suddenly Meredith felt a knock on her shoulder, it was Derek. He offered his hand and asked: '' May I ? ''

Meredith looked at him and took his hand. He wrapped his arms around her and they danced. Or more like felt how good was be in each other arms. Like Derek told before, then he made no move that would led to romantic feelings, he just squirreled with Meredith in middle of Joe's. The song ended, but they didn't notice.

Soon Meredith pulled away, and saw that her friends had left.

'' Crap, I have no car, '' she said.

'' I can drive you home, '' he offered.

'' Good, so we are going, '' Meredith said and almost fell over.

'' I guess tequila is not good for you, '' he smiled.

'' I guess not, '' she said.

He held his arm around her to keep her up. They walked to his car, he held door opened for her and she sat in.

***

Meredith and Derek arrived in front of her house. Meredith had fallen asleep in the mean time.

'' Mere, wake up, we're there, '' Derek whispered to her ear.

'' Let me sleep here for awhile, '' she mumbled without opening eyes.

'' No, you need to go inside, sleep in your soft bed between your sheets, get up Meredith, '' Derek said again.

'' Not yet, let me sleep Derek, '' she said and turned her ace away.

'' Fine, but you asked for it, '' Derek said and got out of car. He opened her door and started to lift her up. She was so sleepy that didn't resist. He carried her to door, but it was locked, so he ringed the doorbell. George came to door.

'' I brought her home, she fell asleep in halfway to here. Are you taking her or am I allowed to carry her up ? '' Derek asked.

'' Take her upstairs, you know where her room is, Cristina should be there, '' George said and let him inside.

Derek nod and went up. Cristina was there indeed and Derek placed Meredith in her bed. He also removed her everyday clothes and replaced with her night ones. He kissed her cheek and whispered good night and then left the room. George was still downstairs, waiting for Derek.

'' She is sleeping. I know the way out, '' Derek said to George.

'' Hang on a sec. '' George said.

'' Okay, what do you need O'Malley ? ''

'' If you ever hurt her again, if her heart will be broken by you, ever again, then it is going to be your face that is broken, '' George said.

'' I won't. We're just friends. ''

'' I know. Just in case. Good night dr. Shepherd, ''

'' Good night O'Malley, ''

***

Derek drove to his trailer. He thought that today has been okay. He fought over Meredith, he talked to her and they are friends from now on. He danced with her, drove her home and carried her upstairs. And like a bonus he changed her clothes and saw her body, that was so beautiful. For her surprise was Rose's car in front of his trailer and Rose was standing on his porch.

'' Derek ! '' she said.

'' Rose !? What are you doing here ? '' he asked surprisedly.

'' I am here for you, just hear me out. Derek I am sorry, I never meant to be some kind of stalker, I just wanted to be the one for you. And I feel like we started with a wrong foot, so I want another chance with you. And I understand if you won't give it to me, but I am hoping that you do, '' Rose said.

'' Rose... I, um, … I'll think about it, '' he said.

'' Okay. Sleep well Derek. ''

'' You too Rose. ''

Derek entered his trailer and Rose drove away. She wanted to have him, but she can't be stalker for that. She has to be patient and romantic and nice person. Then Derek will be her's.

***

Mark was sitting on his apartment floor, it still needs furniture, but it was okay. He looked at ceiling, when his phone went off, it was Addie calling. Strange, he thought.

'' Hey Addie, ''

'' Hey Mark. Are you still in Seattle ? ''

'' Yes. Why ? ''

'' I am standing in Seattle's airport wondering where to go. I thought to call Derek, but he is with Meredith and I don't want to come between them again. So I thought I call you, asking to pick me up and maybe have dinner or something. I need a friend right now, and you are a good friend. So, please, can you pick me up ? ''

'' Yeah, sure. I'll be there shortly. ''

'' Thanks Mark, '' Addie said and hang up.

'' Wow !! Addie is back, '' Mark said and went to meet Addie.

***

_Cause she's just a friend_

_Yes, you'll never know_

_It's makin' it harder for me to let go_

_Cause she's just a friend_

_Yet, she'll never know_

_sometimes i wish i never met her at all_

_(really!)_


	6. Where does the line go ?

**Since I skipped time, couple of things – Addie is working in Seattle Grace again, George is also resident, Owen and Arizona have joined too. There will be no Hahn and Callie together, as I thought before, but Hahn is head of cardio. She is there, but not dating with Callie, they just didn't work out. Callie is with Arizona, just like in season 6. So sorry, if I am disappointing you again, but I really do hope that you will keep on reading :) .**

_2 months later..._

Meredith was sitting on bench of locker room. Alex, George, Izzie and Cristina were also there. Izzie was hoping to get a next days off, so she could make dinner and all the cleaning and cooking for Christmas. It was 22th December. They all waited for dr. Bailey to enter the room. All of them were sleepy, because there was huge car crash the night before and they haven't had any sleep for 48 hours at least. Cristina leaned on Meredith, Izzie had her head on Alex's shoulder, Meredith leaned on Cristina and George drank his coffee. Finally Bailey walked in and saw all residents there, but she had never seen such a group of friends like her former interns, all 5 of them.

'' Okay. I haven't decided who are working on Christmas, so I am asking, does anyone want to work on holidays ? '' Bailey said as she entered the room.

'' I can, '' Meredith said.

'' Me too, '' Cristina said.

'' Count me in, '' Alex said.

'' I guess I can be here too, '' George said.

'' What about our dinner and big holiday ? '' Izzie asked.

'' We'll be there Iz, just we can be working too, '' Cristina said.

Bailey looked around and saw some other residents rising hands too.

'' So, I have Grey, Yang, Karev and O'Malley for 24th, Smith, Johnson and Shearer for 25th , who are covering 26th ? '' she said.

Alex, Meredith, Cristina and George looked at each other and raised their hands, for their surprise Izzie did it too.

'' For 26th Grey, Yang, Karev, O'Malley and Stevens. Good, you have to pick some interns too, but that is up to you how many. Well, I have holidays covered, so get yourself busy, '' she said and was about to leave.

'' Dr. Bailey, do you have a minute ? '' Izzie asked.

'' What, Izzie ? '' Bailey said when she turned back, and all other residents before her former interns were there.

'' We are having a big holiday dinner and we were wondering if you would like to come to, '' Izzie said.

'' Tucker and little Tuck are welcomed as well, '' Meredith said.

'' Thanks for inviting. I guess I can't say now no, so yeah, I am coming, '' Bailey said and smiled.

'' Thank you, '' George said.

'' Now go to work, lives are waiting to be saved, '' Bailey said with turning back to Chief Resident.

***

Cristina walked to cardio wing, where her interns were waiting with dr. Hahn. Hahn started to teach Cristina, so she actually learned something new and that was good enough for her. They were having a baby today. There was a mother with triplets, and one of the girls has a heart failure, so she and Hahn will get the baby to the next o.r. right away. The other kid has a brain condition, that Derek and Meredith will be fixing. Bailey, Chief and George have the third girl, who is having abdominal surgery. Izzie, Alex and Addie are working on mother. So pretty much all of the group is gathered in one o.r. and that is not so common around that place. Cristina, Hahn, Izzie, Alex, Chief and George are already in o.r. , Bailey, Addie, Derek and Meredith are in scrub room.

'' That reminds me the mother with 5 kids. It was my first year here, and the staff was pretty much the same too, '' Addie said.

'' Only Burke has been replaced and Chief is there also, '' Derek said.

'' Yeah, but don't mention Burke inside the o.r. Cristina is not taking it well, '' Meredith said and washed her hands.

'' This is my intern trauma, everybody had problems and some are still problems, '' Bailey said.

'' We're fine. There is no trauma with us anymore, '' Meredith defended.

'' Isn't ? Then why we can't mention Burke to Cristina, Alex and Izzie are fighting and making up, George is having problems with your little sister and you are having relationship with your boss, beside you look pale, '' Bailey said.

'' I am so not in relationship with anybody. I really doubt that I am pale. I am fine, '' Meredith said.

'' You do look a little pale Meredith, '' Derek said softly.

He touched her forehead and felt that it was hot.

'' You are burning up girl. You don't have to scrub in you know. I can ask Alex to scrub in with me, '' he said to Meredith.

'' I am fine, '' Meredith said and put on a mask.

'' Take it easy Grey. If you feel sick or anything, then leave to o.r. immediately or you can always not scrub in at all, like Shepherd said, '' Bailey said.

'' I am fine. I am not sick, I feel fine. I am fine. We have triplets to worry about, not me. I am fine, they are not, '' Meredith said.

'' Whatever you say. But you do look a bit pale and sick. Sure you are not pregnant ? '' Addie asked.

Derek looked with his mouth open, Bailey looked at Meredith.

'' Yeah, Grey are you pregnant ? '' Bailey asked.

Meredith just looked at them like they are crazy.

'' Meredith ? Are you pregnant ? With Finn's baby or Mark's ? Do you know ? '' Derek said from her back and he moved his arms to her shoulders.

'' I am not. I know for sure. I can't be, I haven't been with neither of them, I am fine. Let's go to surgery, '' Meredith said.

Derek turned her to face him. Bailey and Addie quietly left the room, leaving Derek and Meredith there alone.

'' Are you sure ? '' Derek asked.

'' Yes ! ''

'' How sure ? ''

'' 99 % . ''

'' But there is 1 % . I won't be mad if you are or if you did sleep with them. It does hurt, but I have no right to be angry or anything. ''

'' I did not. I haven't had sex for over 2 months, since we had a accident. I promise. ''

'' But you could be pregnant with my baby. Look at yourself, you are pale, your boobs are a bit bigger. Meredith, is it possible ? ''

'' No Derek. Even if I was, then I wouldn't have it right now, I am surgeon and beside I have no man beside me to help me raise a baby. ''

'' I am here, Finn is there, beside all of your friends. There are a lot of people helping you, ''

'' You are a friend and I broke up with Finn. We only had 2 dates and then we had some disagreements. It was 2 weeks ago already. I would have friends here being friends, but I might need somebody to cover my bed, to kiss me goodnight, to be there with my morning sickness. ''

Derek moved to her and hugged her.

'' I'll be there if you want to. I can be the man who is there and kisses you every second and sleep next to you every night and take away your tears when you are down and hold your hair when you are having morning sickness and hold your hands when you are delivering our baby. I can be the man you need in your life, '' Derek whispered to her ear.

'' No Derek, you can't, '' Meredith said and pulled away.

'' Okay, Meredith. Don't go yet, '' Derek said and took her hand.

'' I am sorry about that. I don't want to lose you entirely, I didn't say I have to be or anything, I just said if you want, then I can be. Sorry I pressured on you, I am really sorry for that. We are still just friends, right ? ''

'' Yeah, we are still just friends, '' Meredith agreed and stepped back where she was.

'' Okay. So I can ask you to wish me good luck, '' Derek said and smiled.

'' Yes. You can, '' she answered and smiled to him.

'' So, one hug for good luck, '' he gave her his McDreamy smile.

'' One hug for good luck, '' she said.

Meredith took one step closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. He answered with the same. He moved his head next to hers, so he could smell lavender from her hair. She buried her face to his chest. And they hugged. Long, warm and soft hug. But the question is: Who needed the good luck more, Meredith or Derek ?

***

When Addie and Bailey entered, then mother was just brought there.

'' What are they talking about ? '' Cristina asked when she saw Derek and Meredith alone in there.

'' Meredith looked a bit pale and I asked if she is pregnant, she is denying and I guess she has things to talk with my ex-husband, '' Addie said.

'' Meredith is pregnant ? '' Izzie asked.

'' No, I was just asking. Derek said she has fever and she just looked bad. Maybe she has cold or flu or something like that, '' Addie said.

'' It's about time for them to start a relationship again. Who are they fooling ? '' George asked.

'' Themselves only. Everybody else know that since they started working here, '' Alex said.

'' What about Finn ? Derek said that she is moving on with him and they are just friends. Derek told me that. We are trying to make our relationship work. Are you telling me that I am wasting time ? '' Rose asked. She has been listening the conversation, since she was in surgery too.

'' What is wrong with my interns ? Have relationships with attendings, residents and patients. I was not that bad when I was intern, I was a good one, '' Bailey said changing subject.

'' Are we waiting for them or starting now ? '' Hahn asked.

'' I guess we can give them time to talk. They are not needed right away. Scalpel, '' Addie said.

They started the surgery. First baby was out when Meredith and Derek entered the o.r. , so Cristina and Hahn left. The second baby was for Meredith and Derek.

'' Take care of her, '' Addie whispered to Derek, when they left.

The last baby was for Bailey, Chief and George. Addie, Izzie and Alex closed up. Next Izzie went to help Cristina and Hahn, Alex went to o.r. 4, where were Meredith, Derek and baby # 2 . Addie stayed in scrub room for awhile just staring at o.r. , where nurses were cleaning it. She managed to scrub off, when Alex was back.

'' You are needed in o.r. 4, fast, '' Alex said.

'' What happened ? Is the baby alright ? '' Addie asked.

***

_There is the line between friendship and love. Some people want to believe they are in love, others want to believe they are not. There is line between friends and lovers, strong or weak, it is always there. Sometimes it is dangerous to cross it, but sometimes it is waiting for someone to cross it and sometimes the line is missing at all, so only thinking keeps people from doing wrong things. No matter what kind the line is, the questions are: Where this line goes ? And do we feel it ? . _


	7. Change Good or bad ?

Derek and Meredith started their operation. Derek would have let Meredith do more, but he was worried. She looked like crap with her fever. He led her to easy things, although he knew that Meredith is good in neuro and will be great surgeon one day. He looked at her. She looked beautiful, even when she is pale and burning up.

'' Nurse, can you bring dr. Grey water please, '' he said to nurse.

'' Why ? I am fine, '' Meredith said.

'' Just go, '' he said to nurse, who left the o.r.

'' Derek, please, I am fine, '' she said, '' I am not your girlfriend, stop caring, '' she added and whispered to his ear.

'' I care. I would care even if you hated me, '' he said to her ear.

She didn't say anything, but when nurse returned she took her water and drank it. She took her place back next to Derek. Soon Alex joined them too. Meredith felt a bit sick, but she didn't say anyhting. She only changed her place with Alex, so Alex could help Derek more. She had a feeling that Derek was scared to let her do anything.

'' Dr. Grey are you okay ? '' Derek asked when she came to his right side and Alex was on left one.

'' Yeah, I just thought that I would learn more by watching from here, '' she said, but she felt dizzy and weak.

'' Okay, if you feel better over there, '' Derek said.

He was about to close up, when he felt Meredith collapsing next to him.

'' Meredith ! Someone help her, Karev – go get Addison ! '' Derek yelled.

Nurses were around her, so Derek saw nothing. They put her on gurney and were moving her out, when Addie entered.

'' What happened ? '' She asked.

'' She collapsed, go with her and let me know, '' Derek said.

'' Sure thing Derek. Can I have Karev too ? '' Addie asked on her way out.

'' Karev go, '' Derek said to Alex.

Alex and Addie ran out of the room to Meredith. Derek wanted to go, wanted to be there for her, even if he was just friend to her. He was stuck with the baby, and her brain. He tried to do fast, but he knew that it would take another 3 hours for sure, so he just tried to focus on that little girl on his operating table.

***

Addie and Alex went to Meredith's room when nurses were moving around her. Alex took her chart and Addie started to do exam on her.

'' Her pulse is racing, '' Addie said.

'' Her blood pressure is too high too, '' Alex said.

Addie gave her medicine, so her stats would be normal again.

'' Medicine is working, her blood pressure and pulse are back to normal, '' nurse said.

'' Could it be ? '' Addie asked more from herself.

'' What ? '' Alex asked

'' Give me ultrasound and gel Alex, '' Addie said.

'' You think she is pregnant, '' Alex said.

'' It is possible, '' Addie said.

Alex pulled her scrub top up, so her abdomen was open. Addie took a deep breath and looked at Meredith.

'' I even don't know what to expect from you Meredith. Do you even know ? '' Addie said to her, but she was out.

Addie started exam on her abdomen with her hands first.

'' So ? '' Alex asked.

Addie nod and took ultrasound, Alex breathed deeply.

'' Do you know who is the father ? '' he asked.

'' No, according to Bailey it could be Finn or Mark, '' Addie said.

'' I doubt that. Finn hasn't been with her more than 2 dates and she was always home during that time, alone. She didn't had one night stands, I am living with her, I know. And from what I've heard then she has been rejecting Mark's flirting. There was one episode when Derek kicked Mark's ass, but Meredith denied sleeping with Mark. Since that time she and Derek have been just friends, Mark is flirting with her, but that is it. He has been more busy with you. So I have no idea, who could it be, '' Alex said.

'' What about Derek ? ''

'' Well, he is chance too. They broke up 4 months ago, Derek started dating with that nurse Rose, Meredith was alone. He tried to get her back, but she has been rejecting him really hard. Like I said Derek beat Mark, and since that day Meredith and Derek have been friends since that. I believe it was the day when you arrived. ''

'' Okay. So only she knows it. Well, looks like she is about 9 weeks along, '' Addie said.

'' Then Finn is out, he was in hospital until last month and she hasn't seen her for 2 years almost. '' '' Then Mark and Derek are left, '' Addie said.

'' And possible third man too. The mysterious one, '' Alex said.

'' Yeah, the mysterious one that only Cristina knows, if there really is someone, '' Addie said.

Meredith started to wake up when Addie took ultrasound picture.

'' Welcome back Mere, you really scared us in that o.r. ,'' Addie said.

'' Whatever. Where am I ? What happened ? '' Meredith asked looking around.

'' You are in hospital room, you collapsed in Derek's o.r. Meredith, '' Alex said.

'' Okay, but why ? '' she asked.

'' You haven't been eating enough, you had too little energy and because of your situation, '' Addie said.

'' What situation ? '' Meredith asked.

Before Addie or Alex could answer, Alex's pager went off.

'' Derek ? '' Addie asked.

Alex nod and went to door.

'' Don't tell him, '' Addie said.

'' Okay. I'll be back Mere, '' Alex said and left.

'' What is wrong with me that Derek can't know ? '' Meredith asked again.

'' You're pregnant. About about 9 weeks along, '' Addie said and sat on her bedside.

'' No, I can't be. I haven't had sex since I broke up with Derek, but that was about 3 months ago … '' Meredith said.

'' There has to be someone Meredith. You can tell me, so I can call the father. I promise I am not judging, '' Addie offered.

'' Crap … There was one weakness moment with Derek and that was about 2 months ago. How I can be pregnant ? Addie, can you put me a time with you as soon as possible ? ''

'' No, you want you to talk to Derek about it. He has always wanted children, but I guess I wasn't the right woman. If you have talked with Derek about it and he also agrees with abort, then I will do it. Derek deserves to know it. '' Addie said.

'' No, he is moving on with Rose and I don't want to ruin his another relationship. He might want to be there for kid and then everything would be messy again. Me and Derek didn't work out last time, then why should we now ? ''

'' Okay, first you didn't ruin our marriage, it was already ruined when he got here. And second Derek was an ass to let you go. Now that I am moving on and so is he, I can tell you thing that nobody knows. When we were having sex, then he called me Meredith always before coming. He called me Meredith more times than Addison and I am sure he is doing the same thing with Rose too, but Derek is not man from who you just walk away. I have known him for a long time and you are the first girl he didn't just dump, he is communicating with 2 of his ex-girlfriends. In school he never did, even if his ex was his deskmate. He is talking with me and you. When Rose walks into the room, then Derek looks at her for a sec and then goes back to working, but with you he looks like he wants to kiss you. He would like to ask if you are okay and then come and hug you and kiss you like there wasn't anyone else in the room. He would like to be there for you 24/7 and take care of you. The way he looked at you in scrub room and held you was the way a man in love holds a woman. He loves you and if you would agree to be his girl, then Rose would be history and she wouldn't get a second glance. I know Derek, I was his wife for 12 years. And I know for sure that he would be the best father of all. If you keep the baby and would keep on being just friends with Derek, then he would still be there for baby and for you, '' Addie said.

Meredith looked at her with tears in her eyes.

'' I don't want to be hurt again. He has done it countless times and I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be broken anymore. I want to be on solid ground at last and he is not helping. I know I love him, but maybe love is not enough for us. Addie, I believe you know our story good enough to understand, '' Meredith said.

'' Meredith, I get you, but this is Derek we're talking about. He is the man of your dreams. And I have to apologize, 'cause I am one of the reasons you don't trust him, if I would have let him gone, then I guess you would have trusted him and you wouldn't be in this situation. Then Derek would be by your side making you feel good and I would be pissed off and I would never be on your side. But I guess you would choose him over me and I wouldn't mind... ''

'' Addie... '' Meredith interrupted.

'' Don't say anything. Let's make a deal, if you talk to Derek and he agrees with abort, then I'll do it, tonight if you are ready, '' Addie said.

'' You know that I would find a surgeon, who makes this surgery anyway, so Derek won't ever find out, '' Meredith said.

'' Yes, but we both know that I am the best, '' Addie smiled. '' Here is picture of your baby, take it and think about it and tell Derek, he deserves it. You can make his dream come true. '' she added and put a sonogram to his table.

'' Thanks Addie, I thought you hate me for it, '' Meredith said.

'' I don't hate you. I never did. I was just jealous. He always looked you like he never looked at me. So I am happy for you two, I know you can work this thing out, I believe in you. But to be your doctor. When did you last eat ? ''

'' I don't know. Yesterday at noon I guess. There was accident last night, I spent the night working and I drank coffee this morning. This coffee is bad, right ? ''

'' This not eating thing is bad. I will order you something good and if coffee doesn't make you sick, then you can have it with cream and sugar for sure, black coffee – no way. I would recommend you to stay for a night, so we know that everything will be okay tomorrow. And talk to Derek for me, '' Addie said and left the room in order to make a call to a restaurant.

***

In the mean time Alex came back to room.

'' How are you feeling ? '' he asked and sat on her bedside.

'' Confused. Addie wants me to talk to Derek about it, but I think it would be better if he doesn't know about it at all. I was thinking of abort. Is it wrong Alex ? '' she said.

'' It is wrong. I mean if Izzie was having my baby then I would be happy to know it. We are only friends too. I wouldn't want her to have abort, I would want to become a father. And Derek would be really happy if you would give him a family – yourself and your baby. Speaking of him, he said he will be in surgery for half an hour and then will come to check on you. He was really worried, he would come right now, but that baby is keeping him. He was lost, when you collapsed, he was worrying about you really hard. If you would ask him to be your boyfriend, then Rose would be forgotten yesterday. He fell pretty deep into you. ''

'' Addie said the same thing before. I can't be mother, I would suck, look at my mother for start. I am surgeon too, I would forget his birthdays and graduation. I would be my mother and that baby deserves more than this, '' Meredith said.

'' You would turn into your mother if you want to be your mother. You have a decision to make. If you decide to be with Derek, then I am sure that he would keep you on track and that little boy in your tummy will be surrounded with love. Trust me, '' Alex said.

The door was open and Addie walked in with her dinner.

'' Girl you need to eat, you are eating for 2, remember, '' she smiled.

'' Derek should be here in 15 minutes, '' Alex said to her.

Meredith started eating, so Alex and Addie left the room. They stood in hallway, so they could see, when Derek comes and talk with him before he enters the room. They made a small talk about work, when they saw Derek coming.

'' Derek, wait a moment, '' Addie said.

'' I can't, I have to be with Meredith, '' Derek said.

'' We have to talk about her with you, '' Addie said.

'' Is she okay ? '' Derek asked.

'' Yeah, now she is, but we want to make sure that she's gonna be fine after your visit too … '' Addie started.

'' Man, you might have good hair and McDreamy smile, but if you hurt her, then you won't have it anymore. I had a wrestling scholarship in med school, so I know how to kick your ass, '' Alex said.

'' Hurt her and Alex will kick your ass and I am pretty sure that Alex won't be only one. And it is serious warning Derek. I know you, so go there and no word about our conversation, '' Addie said.

'' Okay. I haven't been planning to hurt her, I just hope that she is okay. That's it. We are friends, how can I hurt her ? '' Derek asked.

'' Just go in there, '' Alex said.

After Derek left, then Chief, Bailey and George came to see Meredith, but Alex and Addie made them wait, since it was Derek inside. Soon Cristina, Izzie and Mark came there too, but Alex managed to make even Cristina wait.

***

Derek entered Meredith's room when she finished her dinner.

'' Are you okay ? '' he asked when he sat on her bedside and took her hand.

'' Yeah, I'm fine, '' she said.

'' What happened with you ? ''

'' I collapsed. I had too little energy, that's why. ''

'' But there is something else I know. Tell me, I am your friend after all. ''

'' Yeah, there is something else. ''

'' Tell me. ''

'' Promise me you won't be mad. ''

'' It's a promise. I won't be mad, I will be supportive, '' he said and looked at her.

'' I am pregnant, '' she said and looked at ceiling.

'' You're what ? '' Derek asked and his mouth drop open.

_Important things hit us like a thunder in winter, when everything is frozen and white. The surprise might be good or bad, you might expect it or not, but it comes so fast and suddenly, that you have no ideas. And the sudden thing might be good or bad, expected or not, but it takes time to manage it. For it to become real. Everything needs time, but sometimes you don't have it. What to do when lighting strikes in front of you and you have seconds to figure out what to do ? Seconds to realize what it brings among and which way to run..._


	8. Where you belong

'' I am pregnant, '' she said and looked at ceiling.

'' You're what ? '' Derek asked and his mouth drop open.

'' Pregnant. About 9 weeks like Addie said, '' she said and looked at his reaction.

'' Wow ! Congratulations to you. Who is the lucky father ? Does he know ? ''

'' He does know that I am pregnant. ''

'' You can give me his number and I'll get him here, I guess you would want to have the father of your child here to talk you out of abort. I promise I won't judge, '' he said and gave her pen and a piece of paper, but she didn't write anything.

'' Oh, Meredith, you must be scared. Come here, '' he said and hugged her.

'' The father would make your life easier I believe. I know it must be the luckiest day in his life. I would kill to have a baby with a right woman. He must be lucky man, but I am a bit sad, 'cause I have dreamed about having baby with you, watch it grow up and having you by my side. I guess I just lost you to someone else. Sure you are not saying name of the luckiest man alive ? ''

'' Derek … It is you. You are the last man I have slept with in 2 years. There are no other options, '' she said and turned her face away again.

'' Are you kidding me ? We're having a baby Meredith, '' he said and his face lightened up. He held her head and looked into her eyes.

'' You can kill me later, but now I am going to kiss you. I am just so happy, '' he said and before she could say anything he kissed her. She let him and kissed back. He ran his hands on her body, touched her breasts and hesitated before moving forward. He did it and moved to his hand to her belly. He wasn't showing yet, but he touched it and it felt real. He knew her body by heart and even a slight difference would be noticed by him. Derek had spent so many nights studying her body, every curve, every inch of her. Meredith ran her fingers through his hair, but stopped when Derek touched her belly. She pulled away and moved her hand to his, then looked up to him.

'' You're not mad ? '' she asked.

'' No, of course not. I just hope you are keeping it. ''

'' I don't know what to do. I don't want my child to grow up without father, I want to have a man in my life, next to who I would wake up every morning. Are you sure you want to be there ? ''

'' I would be father for our child no matter what and I would be happy to wake up next to you every day, kiss away your pain and put a ring on your finger. You're all I want Meredith.''

'' I am scared to give you another chance, because we always find a way to broke up. You have broken my heart way to many times. I can't trust you. ''

'' I am so sorry for all mistakes I made, I am sorry for everything. I get if you don't want me, but I want to be there for our baby. I want him or her to have both parents, to support and love him or her. Meredith, we can make it. We can be good parents. ''

'' Derek, how did we get ourselves into this mess ? Didn't you use a condom ? '' she asked.

'' I thought you were still on pills like you used to be. ''

'' I was not. Like I said you are the only man I have been with in 2 years. After we broke up I quit, 'cause I was not planning to start picking up guys from Joe's again. I was done with men until I find the right one. But came out that I can't keep my hands off you. ''

'' You can have your hands on me all the time you want to. I'm all yours Meredith. Touch me, look at me, kiss me, have all my body parts, have sex with me how much you want to. I am offering it all, if you are keeping the baby, '' he said and gave her his McDreamy face.

'' I guess I could keep our child. We could try to be parents. But nothing romantical, then it wouldn't work out at all. And no kissing me unless I ask. ''

'' Thank you. Then I guess I have to wait until you ask for a kiss, '' he gave another McDreamy face.

'' And you have to lose your McDreamy look, it makes me forget everything else. For example Rose. ''

'' I broke up with Rose before I came here. I realized that I would never love her like I love you. She is out of the picture. I have no-one else, but you. ''

'' Whatever. You also have to do something with your hair and eyes. And these hormones will be making me weaker and I might lose control of my brain and we would end up doing something not responsible, and that is bad. God, I can't do this. ''

'' Yes you can. I can wear a knight's iron costume for you. So you can't touch me or even see me. ''

'' And then you would scare our baby so hard, that you can't be around him at all, '' she said and they both laughed.

'' You are hoping to have a boy ? Why not a little princess like her mother ? ''

'' I am so not hoping to have a girl like me. That would be horrible, '' she said sure.

'' Why ? It would be amazing to have a little girl running in home, '' he smiled.

'' We wouldn't make it through the teenage days. I was really horrible. Sometimes I still wonder how my mother handled me, 'cause I wouldn't have. ''

'' My little girl would be grounded if she makes her mommy doubt in herself, '' Derek said, laughed and took the sonogram, that Addie made before.

'' It is so tiny. Pretty unbelievable. I am becoming a father. ''

'' Yeah. You can keep the picture since I will be the one carrying it for next 7 months, '' she said.

'' Okay. We are having a baby and you were all alone. I have to make it up for you. Addie can make another ultrasound, so I can support you, '' he offered.

'' I wasn't alone. Alex was there and Addie too. She is making next ultrasound when I have an appointment with her. You know that the gel is cold and not so good for me, '' she said.

'' Yeah, the mother comes first now, for me. You should get some sleep now, honey, '' he said and smiled.

'' I guess I should. But so do you. ''

'' I am going to sleep on that couch over there, '' he said and pointed to couch in corner.

'' Okay, '' she said. He kissed her forehead and removed his hand from her belly.

'' Derek ? '' she said when he was standing.

'' What's wrong mommy ? '' he was worried.

'' Don't call me like that already, ''

'' Okay honey. What's wrong ? ''

''Would you sleep in same bed with me ? ''

'' Of course. Move over, '' he said and climbed to bed.

She had her back turned to him, so he buried his face to her hair. His hand found a way back to her belly. She placed her hand on top of his and fell asleep. Derek stayed up for awhile, he didn't know how long he would have her warm body next to his and her lavendel smelled hair there.

***

Addie, Alex, George, Cristina and Izzie had been waiting for a hour in that hallway already. Cristina was pacing around since she arrived. Mark was there, but he had a late surgery, but he promised to back later.

'' They have been there too long, I need to speak with her, '' Cristina said.

'' Give them some time, '' Izzie said.

'' McDreamy has had her for more than a hour. I am going in, '' Cristina said and went to her room. Others ran after her. She decided to look from window before and she saw that they are sleeping.

'' Oh, great. McDreamy is covering her, so I can't even talk with her, '' Cristina said and left.

'' At least he didn't screw up. Otherwise he wouldn't be there, '' Addie said.

'' Yeah. I hope so, '' George said.

'' So Derek really is the father ? I thought they haven't had sex for 3 months, '' Izzie said.

'' Came out that they did, once. And that was enough for them, '' Addie said.

'' Whatever. I am going to sleep now. I can hear the latest gossip about Meredith and Derek in the morning, '' Alex said and left.

Izzie and George left too with same reason. Addie was there alone for awhile and looked them. When she was leaving, then Bailey walked to her.

'' How is she ? ''

'' Medically she need energy, but that is it and she is pregnant. But emotionally I have no idea. She is sleeping with Derek there, but I talked to her a long time ago. I am not even sure if she is keeping the baby, but I am hoping that she is. And Derek want's a kid for sure, '' Addie said.

'' She is pregnant ? Was she okay before ? '' Bailey asked.

'' She is, about 9 weeks. She was confused, messed up and about to break before. Derek is there with her. ''

'' Derek is the father ? ''

'' Yes. She hasn't sleep around for a long time. She grew up from teenager to a woman, '' Addie said.

'' She is a grown-up woman now. ''

'' About to become a mother. ''

'' Are she and Derek together finally ? I am so sick and tired of him asking her every morning, staring her every moment he gets, talking with her like he is a teenage boy asking a girl out, but never gets that far. I am so sick and tired of them both look sad all the time, when the problem can be fixed by getting them back together, smelling each other in elevator, having sex in every closet and on-call room and kissing in hallways, '' Bailey said.

'' And I am totally okay that my ex-husband is having a baby with a woman, who broke us marriage entirely, '' Addie smiled.

'' Good. Is she working tomorrow ? ''

'' Yeah, she is ready. She just has to eat enough. ''

'' Okay. Let me know if anything changes, ''

'' Sure, '' Addie said and they both went in different direction.

***

Derek woke up in the middle of night. She hadn't moved at all, so he still had his hand on her belly. He thought about her words about he being the last man she has slept with in 2 years. For him was Addison, but after his marriage ended there has been only Meredith. True, he had flirted with other girls and he kissed Rose, but no sex. Actually he almost had...

_Derek stepped out of shower with his towel on. Rose was waiting naked in his bed, between sheets that Meredith loved. Rose called for him and he went there and dropped his towel. She wrapped her arms around him and started kissing him. He responded and pulled her on top of him. He smiled to her. She smiled and started to please him with her hand._

_'' Oh, yeah, that is good, yeah baby. … Oh Meredith, I love you so much, never be enough of you, '' Derek said._

_'' What ? '' Rose yelled and faced him. _

_'' Did you just call me Meredith ? '' she asked._

_'' I did ? Crap, I am so sorry Rose, I can't do this, '' he said and left the bed to take a cold shower. _

_Rose sat on his bed then dressed herself and left him alone. When he came out of shower he went to bed and opened the drawer, where he had a picture of him and Meredith. They are happy there. He has his arms around her and they are both smiling. It was his Meredith at that time, only his and no-one else had a right to touch her or look at her. But these days are oven now, Meredith is with Mark at her place doing god knows what and that made him angry. He looked at that picture again and put it on his table, so it would be first thing he sees in the mornings. He smiled to Meredith on picture and drifted to sleep. _

He smiled on that memory. The picture is still there, and Rose hasn't entered the trailer ever since. He is dedicating himself to Meredith, even if she is not into him anymore. He will have eyes for her only and will always have. He looked at the time and it was 2 am. He closed his eyes and fell back asleep.

_Sometimes you have to do circles, to find that all you wanted has been right in front of you all the time. You have to make mistakes, to get back to where you belong. But not all the time everything else is the same..._


	9. Love is

Meredith woke up in the middle of night and first thing she felt was Derek's warm body next to her, his breath on her neck and his hand on her belly. She opened her eyes and looked at time, 3.28 am. She felt her right side was numb, so she started to move away Derek's hand, but that woke him up. He turned himself to his back and her with him. She was on top of him and he had his hands holding strongly her from moving.

'' Let me go Derek, '' she said.

'' Where are you going ? You're not running, are you ? '' he asked.

'' I'm not running, I just wanted to turn myself. You have a problem with that ? ''

'' No, feel free to turn if you can, '' he said and smiled.

'' Derek, let me go. I can't go anywhere if you are holding me so strong. ''

'' That is the point honey.''

'' Stop calling me honey, '' she said.

'' What about sugar ? ''

'' No. ''

'' Sweetie ? ''

'' No. ''

'' Princess ? ''

'' No. ''

'' Babe ? ''

'' No. ''

'' Darling ? ''

'' No. ''

'' Then how can I call you ? ''

'' Meredith would be great, '' she said.

'' But I want you to have a nickname, that only I can use. ''

'' Whatever. Let me go now, I want to sleep. ''

'' You can sleep like that, I am not keeping you, '' he smirked.

'' I am serious Derek. ''

'' So am I. ''

She tried to escape his embrace, but he was stronger. They laughed and played, in the middle of night. Derek used his power and turned her so he was on top of her.

'' You know that I can do anything with you right now. You are under my power, '' he said.

'' If you try, then I would have to ask Cristina and I guess you don't want it, '' she said.

'' No, I am happy with you and our baby inside of you. ''

'' Good. I am happy with things too, right now. Generally. ''

'' Great. ''

He smiled and kissed her cheek. His hands ran on her body, stopping on breasts. He moved down and kissed her neck. He looked up for a moment and she moaned. Derek's hands moved under her blouse and he removed it with a little help from him. He removed the bra and sucked her breasts. She made no movements to stop him. She felt his erection and removed his top. His muscular body was taking her breath away with him touching and kissing her all over her body. He removed her pants when she was removing his. He was about to enter her, when he hesitated.

'' What Derek ? '' she asked. '' You already got me pregnant there is no need of condom. ''

'' I know. I wanted to ask if you are really sure about it. You said that we are just friends before, and I really doubt that you are doing it with Alex or George, '' he said.

'' I am sure. You can't make me so excited and then stop. Derek I am ordering you to go on with your thing, '' she begged.

'' I can't if you don't want more than just friendship from me, '' He told seriously.

'' I love you Derek and I would like to have another try with you. Satisfied ? '' she said.

'' I love you too. More than anything Meredith Grey, '' he said and kissed her. At the same time he entered her. He did what he had dreamed while he was with Rose and Addison. He was pleasing her, kissing her deeply and having a new try with that girl. He never let their lips go apart first because he wanted to feel these lips so badly, and second to keep her from screaming and waking other patients. He finally let her mouth go, when he came and so did she. He stayed like that for awhile, and then kissed her again. He touched her body everywhere just to make sure that she is really there and really his. She ran her hands on his back and through hair. She could deny it, but she had missed him too, really much. He broke the kiss.

'' Did you really mean what you said before or did you just wanted to have sex ? '' Derek asked.

'' I meant it. I want to have a new try with you, but I am just too scared to give you one, '' she said.

'' Meredith, please. I promise I won't hurt you again. I will be by your side when you are having our baby and when we are having another ones and then watch them grow up. ''

'' Babies ? You want more than this one ? I am a surgeon, not a mother 24/7. I don't want to give it up. ''

'' I would like to have as many babies as you want to. As much you can give to me. ''

'' Just this one, for now. Go get our clothes now, we need sleep. ''

'' Really ? ''

'' Yes. It is 4.37 am already. We'll talk more tomorrow, '' Meredith said.

Derek took their clothes and they dressed themselves. They fell asleep in each other arms with his hand on her belly and her's on his. They shared a long kiss goodnight and that was it.

***

Next morning Bailey and Addie walked into the room at 9 am. Meredith and Derek were still asleep in each other arms.

'' You look at these two, '' Bailey said

'' Yeah. And they are denying that they love each other, '' Addie said.

'' I guess that means that they are keeping the baby. ''

'' Mhmm. I guess we should wake them. I have to run some tests on her, but I think she is alright to work today and he is ready for sure, '' Addie said and looked at them.

'' Meredith. Derek. Wake up, '' Bailey said and sat on chair next to bed.

'' What time is it ? '' groggy Derek said and opened his eyes.

'' It's 9 am. You have a surgery in half of hour, so get out of that bed, '' Bailey said.

'' I think I should. Can you give Meredith to me ? '' he asked.

'' Already done, '' Bailey smiled.

Derek started to climb out of bed. He felt Meredith starting to stir too.

'' Good morning honey, you're awake, '' Derek said.

'' Morning Derek, '' Meredith said to him.

'' How did you and baby sleep ? '' he asked.

'' We slept good. How did you ? '' she asked him.

'' I slept just good, now that I have you back, '' he smiled and kissed her.

She kissed him back and ran her fingers through his hair.

'' Enough Derek. She is a patient right now and if you can't keep your hands away from her, then I have to ask somebody to guard her, '' Bailey said.

'' Sorry dr. Bailey, '' Meredith said and pulled away.

'' Derek, get out now, we need to speak with Meredith, '' Addie said.

Derek tried to kiss Meredith again, but Meredith gave her slap and smirked. So Derek got up and left the room.

'' I'll see you soon, '' he said to Meredith on door.

'' It means that you are keeping the baby and you took your man back ? '' Addie asked.

'' Yes,'' Meredith said.

'' Good. You're ready to work ? '' Bailey asked.

'' Yes, '' Meredith said.

'' Then. First breakfast and then scrub in with Derek's aneurysm. You'll be off at 8 pm. And your on call night is today. Are you okay with it ? '' Bailey said.

'' Yes, '' Meredith said.

'' Okay then. I'll see you on 8th January, then Derek can come too and you can have your first ultrasound when you are awake too. I'll tell Derek too, but if you want then of course you can look for me and I'll find some time to make it sooner or later. Okay ? '' Addie said.

'' Yeah, everything is okay. I'll be there on 8th, but now I gotta get to work, '' Meredith said and went to bathroom, to change her hospital grown into scrubs. When she came out, then only Addie was there.

'' And where are you going now ? '' Addie asked.

'' To scrub in with Derek ? '' she asked.

'' No, you're having something to eat right now, '' Addie said.

'' Right. To cafeteria and then to o.r. , '' Meredith said and left the room.

***

Cristina saw Meredith coming out of her room. She tracked her down and walked with her.

'' Hey. I heard you're pregnant, '' Cristina said.

''Hey. Yeah, I am 9 weeks along already... '' Meredith said.

'' You're okay ? ''

'' Yeah, I'm fine. ''

'' How did Shepherd take the news ? ''

'' He was very happy and asked for another chance. ''

'' Did you give it to him ? ''

'' No, but we shared many kisses. I don't know what I'm doing. I have no idea, I just know that I am keeping the baby and Derek promised to be there for us. ''

'' You could give it to him, he dumped Rose. When you collapsed, then he was so scared that almost killed that baby on his table. ''

'' Okay. Did I made the right decision ? ''

'' No. The right one would be when you take him back and be so happy that you would make everyone jealous. ''

'' You really think I should give him another chance ? ''

'' Yes. He breaks your heart and I'll broke his face. ''

'' Thanks. What about keeping the baby ? Derek is so happy that we are having a baby, but I don't know if I am happy. That means I have to give up surgeries and I don't want to give up cutting yet, I want to prove myself. I am not ready to become a mother. Why did you decide to have abortion ? ''

'' I decided to have abortion, because I had no father for baby. Me and Preston broke up a bit after I found out I was pregnant. You have a good father for the baby, only thing you might want to change is his ego. My decision was right for me, but for you is better to keep the baby. Meredith, you are not an intern anymore, you are resident. Last year was tough, but you made it. You grew up, you are ready to become mother. ''

'' I am ? Are you sure ? ''

'' Yeah. Let's have something to eat now, '' Cristina said and they walked to cafeteria.

***

Alex, Izzie and George saw Cristina walking with Meredith to cafeteria and after awhile they joined them. They had their usual table with 5 chairs exactly.

'' Are you okay Mere ? '' Izzie asked.

'' I'm fine. ''

'' Are you keeping the baby ? '' George asked.

'' Yes. ''

'' How did Derek take the news ? '' Izzie asked.

'' How you know that the baby is Derek's ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Mere, you haven't slept with anyone else after you got together after the prom. There is no chance. You grew up, '' Alex said.

'' But how did he take it ? '' Izzie asked again.

'' Good. He was happy, '' Meredith said.

'' Are you back together ? '' George asked.

'' I don't know. Maybe, if I want. ''

'' She's fine, she is keeping the baby, she is 9 months along, she is not together with Derek entirely. Any more questions ? '' Cristina said.

'' No, '' George and Izzie said.

'' I gotta go. I'm scrubbing in on Derek's surgery in 10 minutes. See you guys at lunch. I am on call today, so I won't be home at night. Don't worry, okay ? '' Meredith said and left the table.

'' Is she really okay ? '' Izzie asked.

'' Yes, '' Cristina said.

'' Of course not. That girl was practically raised by wolfs and she freaking out about becoming mother. We just have to hope that Shepherd will work it out, '' Alex said.

'' Yeah. But she's gonna be okay soon, right ? '' George asked.

'' I hope so, '' Izzie said.

***

Meredith went to scrub room and saw Derek leaving it when she walked in. Derek saw her and turned back.

'' Did you eat enough ? '' Derek asked.

'' Yeah, I just came from cafeteria. Did you eat ? '' she asked.

'' I did. How are you feeling ? ''

'' I don't know. Pregnant and confused. ''

'' Oh... Do you want me to do anything ? ''

'' No. I am fine. ''

'' I know you are. You just have to take a good care of you. ''

'' I am taking care of everything. ''

'' Or you can let me take care of you and our baby. You're not alone and you know it. ''

'' Derek. You are not my boyfriend. You are just friend. ''

'' And the father of your baby. ''

'' Yeah. Let's go now to surgery. That man needs your skills. ''

'' Just think about it, right ? ''

'' Yeah. ''

'' And I am keeping an eye on you, '' Derek said.

'' I know, '' Meredith said and they both left to scrub room.

The surgery lasted for 4 hours and was successful. Derek was very careful of letting Meredith do anything. Every time Meredith moved he looked at her and asked if she was okay. After 30 minutes Derek asked if she was okay or wanted to go out for a second. He became overprotecting friend. And everybody thought that it was nice and sweet, but there was one person in that scrub room, who hated it. Just thinking of losing Derek was painful enough and reality... When there is a slutty intern, who is pregnant apparently. This man is hers and one day they will be married. Apparently she has just one thing that stops her from getting what she wants. Meredith Grey.

***

_Love is a funny thing. To be loved feels so good, to love is not so good, if you are not loved back. But the thing is that, love makes us do funny things, sweet things and horrible things. Love is... sweet... kind... wild... and... dangerous..._


	10. Unexpectance comes

It has been a tiring day in hospital. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and Izzie will be making dinner for way to many people. She invited Alex, George, Meredith, Cristina, Bailey with husband and kid, Chief with wife, Derek with his sisters and mother, Mark, Owen, Callie, Arizona, Erica, Addie and Lexie with father. Meredith thought that Izzie asked Thatcher to piss her off and whatever reasons she really had are not known. Plus Meredith also thought that Derek's sisters and mother is coming to kill her and leave no sign behind. No matter what Derek, Addie or Mark said, she was sure that they will kill her and not just metaphorically but also really seriously kill her. She could only thank god that she is on call and working on Christmas eve. But she has Cristina, who will keep her alive, but the thing is that she has to get through the night without tequila or any other alcohol.

Derek left already to pick her mother up and others will be out of hospital in couple of hours. Only Bailey and Alex will stay in hospital for night. Cristina has been trying to make her feel better by saying that she could use the pregnancy card, but then it hit Meredith too. She is pregnant with Derek's baby and Nancy told more bad than good things to his family. After failed attempt to make her feel better Cristina left hospital. She said she had some things to do with Owen. After Owen came to Seattle he has been very close with Cristina and they are in relationship. He seems like a good guy to Meredith and that's all Cristina needed to start anything. Funny thing, but her person's approval is all she needs for anything. After Cristina finally left she went to front desk to do some charting and after that she might get some sleep.

Meredith finished charts when her pager went off, it was to front desk. Bailey, Alex, Chief and some interns were waiting for her.

'' Good, Grey you're here, '' Chief said.

'' What's wrong ? '' Meredith asked.

'' There is a huge car crash in downtown. All hospitals are requested send out a team on scene. Dr. Bailey and dr. Karev find yourself interns. Grey, you can stay here and wait for victims or you can go home if it is too much for you, '' Chief said.

'' Got it. Let's go, '' Bailey said to Alex and interns.

'' Chief. What are you doing ? '' Meredith asked.

'' I am protecting you because of your condition and because of my promise. You need sleep, '' Chief said.

'' I want to go there. So I feel like I am practicing any medicine. I have been with Derek whole day and he doesn't let me do anything. Like I am screwing everything up. Please, the scene is full of sick people needing my help. Beside I am doing much more neuro that Alex or Bailey, you need to send somebody out and Derek is with his family. There are too few surgeons in scene anyway and they could use all the help you have to offer, '' Meredith told.

'' Meredith … You have 5 minutes to get yourself ready, ambulance is waiting in trauma entrance, hurry, '' Chief said.

'' Thank you, '' Meredith said and ran to get her coat and trauma bags.

She caught up with Alex and Bailey in pit.

'' I thought Chief said to go home, '' Bailey said to Meredith.

'' He changed his mind. He decided I'm okay to come with you, '' she said.

Alex looked at interns to decide which one is staying here.

'' Megan go back, wait with others for ambulances to arrive, '' he said.

Megan went back, so Bailey, Alex, Meredith, Pierce, Ryan and Lexie climbed in ambulance. Meredith and Alex sat quietly, waiting for Bailey to talk with them about rules, like last time.

'' What are you two fools waiting for ? Tell the rules to your interns. I did my job good, so you know what to say. I gave you better training that this. '' Bailey said after awhile.

'' Okay. Triage. '' Alex asked.

'' Green tags not emergent, yellow – need delight care, red need emergent treatment, '' Meredith said.

'' Don't stand in way, don't stay too long with one patient. Don't play heroes, you are doctors and that makes you heroes already, '' Alex said.

'' Move fast, cure fast. Triage is the word that says it all. Get emergent patients to ambulances as fast as possible, non emergent sent to triage tent.

'' People, move your id-s out of jacket, '' Bailey said to everybody. Then turned to Alex and Meredith, '' I taught you as well as I thought. Alex don't play hero and risk your own life this time. I don't need another Denny Duquette case, ( Alex nodded. ) and Meredith … I hope there is no sea where to fall and almost drown. You are on my watch girl and you are not doing anything stupid. You put your hand in body cavity where was bomb and almost drowned about year ago. Are you planning on doing anything like that this time too ? '' She asked Meredith. Meredith just looked at her, Alex looked Meredith and then Bailey, interns had their mouths open.

'' Answer me Meredith. Last time you had your mommy issues, are you having this time mother-on-law issues, so I know not to let you out of my sight, '' Bailey said to her.

'' No, I'm fine. I am not doing anything. Can we please not talk about that day, I really don't want to think about that day, please, '' Meredith said.

'' Okay. What are you listening ? Think of your work, this is none of your business, '' Bailey said to interns.

'' Dr. Karev is listening too, '' Pierce said.

'' Alex was there when everything happened. He actually played hero on scene and later thought that his good friend good die. Did you do anything like that too ? '' Bailey snapped.

All interns just stared at dr. Bailey.

'' That's what I thought, '' she said.

Suddenly the ambulance stopped. They were there. Alex was the first one to get out. He helped Meredith, Bailey and Lexie out. The scene was horrible. There were cars on fire and in collision.

'' Get yourself busy, '' Bailey said and they went in different directions. '' Alex ! Keep an eye on her for me,'' she said to Alex when he was going.

'' Yes dr. Bailey, '' he said and followed Meredith.

Meredith straight to one car where people were stuck.

'' You need a hand Meredith ? '' Alex asked when he arrived to that car too.

'' I got it, '' she said.

Alex still stayed there and helped her. They got that patient out and moved on to next patient. Meredith saw a car in distance and man there who was bleeding. Meredith and Alex ran there, but when they got there they realized that it was a mistake. One man hit Alex with gun handle and he was out. Meredith saw him bleeding and then felt a gun placed on her head.

'' Shut up babe or you get a bullet into your head, '' a man said from behind you.

'' Okay. Please just let me take care of them I am a doctor. Please, '' Meredith said.

'' Then there is no point. I shot the man to get him out of way, '' robber said.

'' What about my friend who you hit. I promise I'll be quiet, just let me check his wound and suture if necessary. Please,'' Meredith begged.

'' Is he your boyfriend or what ? '' he asked.

'' Why ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Well, is there anyone who would pay a lot to get you back, '' he asked.

'' Um... not really. Alex here is my, um, boyfriend and all I have. We don't have anyone else, '' Meredith said.

'' Fine, take care of him. And one scream and you both are dead, '' the man said.

'' Thanks, '' Meredith said.

She took out things she needed and tarted to look Alex's head. She stitched him up and after that Alex woke up. When Alex opened his eyes, Meredith hugged him.

'' You are my boyfriend, so Izzie is out of action, '' she whispered to him.

'' Oh, Mere. Are you okay ? Is our baby okay ? '' Alex asked and put his hand on her belly.

'' I hope so honey. I almost lost you, '' Meredith said and Alex hugged her.

'' You won't lose me babe. I am there for you, '' he said quietly, but loud enough for robber to hear.

'' You could be actor if you wouldn't be a surgeon, '' Meredith whispered him.

Alex smiled to her and kissed her forehead.

'' Why you don't kiss ? '' robber asked.

'' What ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Real couples do kiss. You haven't, I wanna see a kiss or I don't believe you. And I would lose nothing by killing you, '' he said again.

'' Mere … I'll apologize already, '' he whispered and kissed her. She needed what to do, so she closed her eyes and imagined it is Derek, but when she thought it is enough she pulled away.

'' Are you happy now ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Yeah, into the car, right now, '' he said to Meredith.

Meredith climbed in when the man held a gun on her head.

'' I am not leaving her, '' Alex said.

'' Yes you are, '' the man said.

'' No, I am not. She is my girlfriend and she is pregnant, I am not leaving them, '' Alex said.

'' Fine, get in, '' robber said and Alex climbed into the car.

They rode in silence for awhile. Then the man called someone.

'' Yes, mam. ''

'' Okay … ''

'' See you … Rose, wait a sec. I have a guy with her, what am I doing with him ? ''

'' Really ? ''

'' Okay hun, '' the man said and shut the phone.

'' Rose, '' Meredith whispered to Alex.

'' Open the door when I ask you to, okay ? '' Alex whispered.

Meredith nod.

'' And I promise, I won't do anything serious, just go with it. Just trust me and after that you can yell as much as you want, '' Alex said.

Meredith nod again.

Alex kissed her so she was down on backseat and her hand was ready to open the door. Alex saw it and kissed her neck, but he did it more like a friend. Meredith looked into his eyes and understood what he was doing. The driver saw it and yelled for them to stop. Alex ran his finger through her hair and then went more down. He kissed her belly and that drove driver insane. The road was covered with ice and when he pulled breaks then he lost control over car. It span and then straight to bushes on side of car.

'' Now, '' Alex said Meredith and she opened the door. He grabbed her and they jumped out of car. It was pretty right moment, 'cause in the next moment car hit the tree. Alex started to move after couple of minutes. He looked around and saw Meredith next to him and she was not moving. Alex checked her pulse, it was there and not that weak. Then he saw car a couple of meters away next to tree. He saw that it was leaking and might explode soon. He sat next to Meredith.

'' Meredith, we have to go. Come on, get up, open your eyes. You can do it. Please... Say anything, or move if you can hear me, '' he said to her.

'' Ouch, '' Meredith said after a moment.

'' Mere... You're awake. We have to go now, this car is about to explode, '' he said.

Meredith sat up and tried to stand up, but before she could Alex pulled her up and carried for a couple of meters when car indeed exploded. Meredith and Alex were pushed by the power of explosion. They fell into the snow side by side and they stayed there without making any signs of life.

_Unexpectances have a way to get us. They find us in moment we even don't know to expect anything. They don't ask if they could come or not, not talking about the happenings... It's how they get us, and how much the change our way around... These are unexpectances..._


	11. Family

Dr. Bailey was doing the best job she could. For her luck there was other doctors and the damage was not that big. She looked around and saw Ryan, Pierce and Lexie working there. Doing sutures mainly. She looked closely around and didn't notice Alex or Meredith there, but she did see Owen Hunt there.

'' Hey, Owen ! Have you seen Grey or Karev somewhere here ? '' She asked as she walked to him.

'' Dr. Bailey. I'm sorry, I haven't, '' he said.

They helped some patients there and then they heard explosion.

'' WHAT WAS THAT ? '' Bailey yelled.

'' I don't know. Let's go, '' he said and they walked in that direction with Bailey.

Ambulance car came and picked them up. Bailey was scared, because seemed like her interns had a special gift to get into troubles. They arrived shortly where the place was. Car pieces were everywhere around the place. Bailey ran to car, but there was nothing but a burned body.

'' I found them, '' Owen yelled, from other side of car.

Bailey ran there and saw Alex and Meredith lying there.

'' They have minor bruises, but the power of explosion was so big that they are out at this moment. That's all I know for now, but after take them to hospital we'll know more, '' Owen said.

Owen went to same ambulance with Alex and Bailey with Meredith.

'' Call Stevens, '' Bailey told Owen when they went apart. Owen nod and climbed into ambulance. Bailey went into ambulance and gave Meredith medicine.

'' You stupid girl. Why can't you stay away from trouble ? '' Bailey talked to Meredith, '' I just hope that this time everything will be easier than last time. I think I have to call Shepherd, he would want to be there. You would like him to be there by your side. I guess he has the right to be there. ''

She looked for her phone, but Meredith grabbed her hand.

'' You're awake. It's okay, I'm calling Derek. He would like to be there, '' Bailey said.

'' No, '' Meredith said.

'' What ? You need him by your side, '' Bailey said and picked up her phone again.

'' He has family. I'm okay. ''

'' I'm sure he would like to be here and not with his sisters and mother. Beside I am pretty sure he is your next to kin. ''

'' No. Cristina. ''

'' You want me to call Yang ? '' Bailey asked.

'' No. Next to kin, '' Meredith said.

'' We'll talk in hospital more, try to rest. I'll check that thing and then make the call, '' Bailey said and held her hand.

'' Alex ? '' Meredith asked.

'' He is on his way too, Owen is with him. He should start waking too. I'll know more in hospital, '' Bailey said.

'' Okay. '' Meredith said and fainted.

Bailey looked at her and called Cristina.

'' Hello Cristina. Sorry to bother you at the middle of night, but it is Meredith, '' Bailey said.

'' Dr. Bailey ? What happened ? '' Cristina asked.

'' She was 3 meters away from explosion, she fainted, but she should be just fine. We are there in 5. I wanted to call Derek, but she didn't want me to. She told me that you are her emergency contact person. I thought that you should know, '' Bailey explained.

'' I'll be there. Are you calling Shepherd ? '' Cristina asked.

'' No. I'll get him, '' Cristina said and hung up.

Bailey and Meredith arrived a couple of minutes after Alex and Owen. Alex was awake too.

'' Mere, are you okay ? '' Alex asked.

'' She is okay, she talked before, but she fainted 6 minutes ago. How are you ? '' Bailey asked.

'' I'm okay. dr. Bailey, please do her ultrasound and page Addie. She can't lose this baby too, '' Alex said.

'' What ? '' Bailey asked.

'' Just check if the baby is okay and just in case page Addie, '' Alex said. '' Crap now I talked too much, '' he thought.

Alex was taken to one room and Meredith to another. Alex was okay, Owen wanted to do some stitches, but Alex said he needed to talk with Meredith.

Bailey did like Alex said. The ultrasound was okay, it showed that baby is doing good. Her vitals were good too and Meredith woke up when Bailey was doing ultrasound.

'' Is my baby alright ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Yes. Alex ordered ultrasound and Addie here, '' Bailey explained, '' You need some stitches and then you should be okay. I called Cristina. She promised to come and get Derek too. ''

'' I told you not to call. I am fine, '' Meredith protested.

'' You are patient here and you'll do what I say not what you say, '' Bailey ordered.

'' Whatever, '' she said.

Then Alex walked in.

'' Is the baby alright ? '' he asked.

'' Yes. I just checked, '' Bailey said, '' And I paged Addie too. ''

'' Good, now get out of my way, '' Alex said and went to ultrasound machine.

'' Did you just give me an order ? '' Bailey was shocked.

'' Yes, '' Alex said and put gel on her belly and then started to exam her, '' You can go, I handle this. ''

'' Alex. You better have a hell of reason, '' Bailey warned.

'' Yeah, I have. You can go, '' Alex said.

'' All right then. You are explaining tomorrow, '' Bailey said and stepped out of door.

'' Whatever, '' Alex said.

'' What's wrong Alex, '' Meredith asked.

'' Remember the last time ? I want to make sure the same thing doesn't happen this time, '' Alex said.

'' Forget the last time. Only you know about it, so it can be forgotten, '' Meredith said.

'' You didn't tell Shepherd ? I thought you were going to. ''

'' I was. But after the accident there was no baby, nothing to tell. ''

'' I don't want this to happen again. I want you to be able to ride with cars without panicking like you do with ferries. ''

'' Drop it Alex. You need to be stitched. ''

'' Don't go there. Or I might accidentally say something about last year's ferry crash, '' Alex said.

_'' Alex, I need a favor. Can you do it ? '' Meredith asked when she and Alex were having a lunch._

_'' Sure. What do you need ? '' Alex asked._

_'' I need you to draw me some blood and run my labs without anyone knowing, '' Meredith said._

_'' Okay. Why ? '' Alex asked._

_'' I might be pregnant. I am a month late and I don't want anyone to know, 'cause my period has been moving a lot and it might be false alarm, '' Meredith explained._

_'' Fine. Let's do it after the lunch and I'll page if I get results, '' Alex said._

_'' Thanks, '' Meredith said._

_3 hours later..._

_Alex was in locker room with Meredith. He had the results of Meredith's blood work. He already knew it, she was pregnant. _

_'' So ? '' Meredith asked._

_Alex nod his head and Meredith sat down on bench. _

_'' I don't know how to tell Derek, '' she said._

_'' Just tell him. I can do your ultrasound if you want to. So you know how far you are, '' Alex offered._

_'' Thanks Alex. Can you do it right now ? '' Meredith asked._

_'' Sure let's go, '' Alex said._

_They went to O.B. floor and Alex led her to a room. He put a gel on her stomach and did ultrasound._

_'' You are about 5 weeks, '' he said and took a picture. _

_'' Okay. Thanks, '' she said and took the picture. _

_Meredith wiped gel away and put her shirt down. _

_'' You can't tell anyone, '' Meredith said._

_'' I know, '' Alex said._

_5 days later – the day after ferryboat accident._

_'' Alex, do you have a sec ? '' Meredith asked._

_'' Let's go up at lunch, then the floor is more quiet, '' Alex said._

_'' Okay. Thanks for this, '' Meredith said._

_Lunch time_

_'' Are you ready ? '' Alex asked when he was upstairs with Meredith. He had already put a gel on her abdomen and ultrasound in hands. Meredith gave him a nod and Alex did exam on her abdomen. He was quiet for a long time and a look in his eyes told Meredith that she has lost her baby. _

_'' I'm so sorry Meredith. Do you want me to page Shepherd ? '' Alex said when he was putting stuff away._

_'' No. Now he will never find out. Okay ? '' Meredith said._

_'' Are you sure about it ? '' Alex asked._

_'' Yes. Please. There is no baby now and no need for anyone to know about it, '' Meredith said._

_'' Fine, '' Alex said._

'' Alex. This thing is forgotten, alright. It happened a long time ago and I have nothing left from it, it is gone, '' Meredith said

'' Just be careful, '' Alex said.

'' I am, '' Meredith said, '' What the hell happened out there ? ''

'' You don't remember ? '' Alex asked.

'' I know we were in car, and then jumped out. You sat next to me and told me to go away. Then we started to go, but something happened, '' Meredith said.

'' Car exploded. Bailey and Owen got us from there and took to hospital, '' Alex said.

'' Oh right, the big explosion, we fell down. I remember, '' Meredith said.

'' Meredith. About the things happened in that car, and before... '' Alex said.

'' We're not going to talk about it ever again, '' Meredith said.

'' Good. I think Izzie and Shepherd shouldn't know it, '' Alex said.

'' Yeah. This is our dirty secret, '' Meredith said.

'' It is, '' Alex said.

Addie walked into the room when Alex and Meredith were chatting about the accident.

'' Bailey paged me. What happened ? '' she asked.

'' Explosion. Can you please take a look at baby ? '' Alex asked.

'' Okay, but you need to be sutured. Mark is out, if you want he can take care of you, '' Addie said.

'' I told him the same thing basically, '' Meredith said to Addie.

'' I can hear you, '' Alex said and walked out of the room.

Addie did some tests on her and assured that the baby is okay. Only Meredith needed stitches and then she was ready to go. Meredith left the room and saw there a chaos. There was a lot of patients and not that much doctors trying to help them. She moved to first patient and started to stitch her up and then another patient and another and another...

***

After Bailey called Cristina, she quickly dressed herself and drove to hospital. Her way to hospital took her awhile, because ambulances were driving crazy and she gave them way.

'' Holy... '' she said to herself.

She drove to hospital and saw chaos in pit. She knew that Meredith needed her, but before she changed into scrubs and walked to E.R. She saw Bailey, Alex, Addison, Mark, Chief and some interns practicing medicine – from sutures to emergency surgeries. She looked around and saw Meredith there. She seemed fine, but bloody and full of scratches and bruises.

'' What are you doing here ? '' Cristina asked her.

'' Sutures at this moment. My intern is waiting for x-ray, and after that I might be doing surgeries, '' Meredith said.

'' Excuse us, '' Cristina said to patient and pulled Meredith out of E.R., '' What the hell are you doing ? You need to be sutured up, beside you might have all kind of injuries. ''

'' I'm fine. Alex, Bailey and Addie checked on me. I am okay, but these people there are not, '' Meredith said and started to go back.

'' I'll call Derek if you go there, '' Cristina said.

Meredith turned around and looked at Cristina.

'' Do you want to suture me up ? '' Meredith asked and came back.

'' Yes. Let's go, '' Cristina said.

They went to more quiet corner and Cristina got a suture bag. She stitched Meredith up and then they went back to E.R. There was still a lot of patients and less doctors working.

'' Doctor, '' nurse called Cristina and Meredith.

They went to a patient and Cristina took over. She gave her medicine and took her vitals. Owen was there and saw Cristina, so he moved over to her. He helped her to take care of patient. They didn't say anything except medical terms and gave out orders.

Meredith wandered around and she got a man with abdominal bleeder and lot of open wounds. He also had a broken leg and possible brain damage. She was working on case with Callie and Bailey. They had to rush him to surgery, so Meredith, Bailey and Callie left the pit. The surgery went well and they got out of o.r. near 4 am. Bailey sent Meredith to on-call room after surgery, she and Callie went to pit, but Callie sent Bailey to sleep soon after. Bailey and Meredith will be working the next day, but Callie can sleep.

***

Meredith woke up by her pager peeping. It was nurse – front desk. She stood up and looked at the time 7 am. Meredith left on call room and went to front desk and saw her father standing there.

'' What's wrong ? '' she asked.

'' Not her. I wanted the other dr. Grey. The better one, '' Thatcher said to nurse.

'' Dr. Lexie Grey is not answering. She might be sleeping somewhere, but sir you are not allowed to wander around hospital, I have someone from staff to look for her, '' nurse said, '' Sorry to wake you Meredith, but he asked for dr. Grey and I hoped you can get him out of way. Soon rounds will start and last collision victims are brought in, '' she turned to Meredith.

'' Okay. I can look for Lexie, I will have rounds soon anyway. Thatcher, can you sit there. You are in doctors way, '' Meredith said.

'' Shut up. I hate this hospital. Ellis was married to hospital, not to me all this time, you killed Susan in this hospital. My daughter Lexie is working here and not coming home for Christmas and you... You are the only good thing that reminds me hospital. You are like your mother, I hope you will die in this hospital, '' Thatcher yelled to Meredith.

'' You have no right to talk to me like that, '' Meredith said back raising her voice.

'' Look at yourself. You have nothing but work. It is Christmas eve and you are working, you have no boyfriend, I bet Derek left you long time ago, you have no family and you are not planning on settle down and have a decent life, '' Thatcher yelled.

Meredith tried to say something, but she was disturbed by someone from behind her. It was Derek. He came and kissed her cheek.

'' I was worried of you, '' Derek said to Meredith, '' Hello Thatcher. Do you need my hot and pregnant girlfriend or can I steal her ? '' he turned to Thatcher.

'' You're pregnant ? I bet the kid is not yours Derek, get out of that relationship. And fast. She is more hospital's girlfriend than yours. At least her mother was and they are pretty similar, '' Thatcher said.

'' I am not leaving her. She is the woman who controls my life. Have been about 3 years already. , '' Derek said and wrapped his arms around Meredith more strongly.

'' Well, you are making a mistake. Derek, I am this girl's father, I know better. The girl has only some normal genes and she got them from me. You are making a mistake with this girl, '' Thatcher said.

''You are not my father ! '' Meredith yelled.

Derek saw that she is angry, so he turned her. She had her face on his chest. '' I love you, '' Derek whispered.

'' Yeah, cry you baby. That's what you always did the best. Cried, you were no use since you ran around with diapers. I am glad I left when you were young, I really doubt that I would like to know you now or wanted when you were teenager. You would have only disappointed me, '' Thatcher said.

'' It's enough. I'm sorry babe, '' Derek said and let go Meredith he went to Thatcher and beat his face. Thatcher was not giving up and so they fought there. Richard saw that fight and went to break it off. Meredith was there and tried to do the same thing. Finally Richard pulled Thatcher away and Meredith held Derek.

'' Grey and Shepherd, into my office, now ! And Thatcher go to pit and get sutured, and after that I don't want to see you anywhere near Meredith, '' Richard said angrily and lead Meredith and Derek. They went to his office and when the door close Chief started yelling.

'' What the hell are you doing ? My head of neuro is beating people up in my hospital. First Mark couple of months ago and now Thatcher Grey. Can you please explain ? '' he yelled.

'' I am protecting Meredith. The Mark thing is history, we talked about it. And right now. Thatcher deserved it, he was saying bad things to Meredith. For example called himself her father, her a slut and said that he made a right move by leaving her, '' Derek explained.

'' That doesn't give you reason to beat people Derek ! Get over your ego, '' Richard said.

Derek opened his mouth, but Meredith's pager went off.

'' It's Bailey, '' she said.

'' Go Meredith, '' Chief said.

Meredith left the room, but when she looked back on bridge she saw Derek and Chief yelling at each other.

_Family is thing we can't choose. It doesn't matter if you hate your parents, or they abandoned you, or never did anything good for you. They are still your family, your flesh and blood. Without parents you wouldn't be here, without the drama you wouldn't be who you are today. Without being abandoned you wouldn't be strong enough to find a new family inside your friends. It's like one moment best friend starts being a friend, she becomes a sister and role model becomes mother more than yours ever was. A moment when lover becomes boyfriend and the moment your father stops being a father and becomes a stranger, being replaced by your mother's ex-lover. Family changes doesn't matter if you choose it or not._


	12. Decisions

Christmas day in Meredith's house

Izzie was preparing dinner, still, so she was in kitchen, Alex, George, Cristina and Meredith were in living room making fun of everything, Derek, Mark and Owen were having a talk in hall, Addie, Arizona and Callie were sitting on the other side of living room, talking and Derek's mother was helping Izzie with the dinner. Chief Webber, Adele and Bailey should be arriving soon. And Lexie was in kitchen too.

Finally is said that dinner is ready and they all sat in table, which was really long, 'cause there was way too much people in Meredith's house, even for holiday. Meredith was the one scared. She was scared of Derek's mother, because she thought that she was there to kill her. So Meredith sat in one side with Izzie, Alex, George and Cristina. Guys were in the middle part with Chief, Adele and Bailey, and the other ladies were in the other side where was also Derek's mother. Everybody were talking during the dinner, but there was no general topic that everybody was talking about. Meredith specially kept herself out of the topic at the other side of the table. She just chatted with Cristina mainly, but with Izzie, Alex and George too. It is still their group, the five of them.

A couple of hours later

The drinks were out and everybody was taking a little. Meredith was drinking her orange juice, that had an umbrella in it. She was refilling her glass, when mrs. Shepherd came to her.

'' Hello Meredith, I am Derek's mother like you know, because you have been avoiding me all evening, '' mrs Shepherd said.

'' Hello. I am not avoiding you, I am just spending time with my friends more, '' Meredith said.

'' What about spending time with your boyfriend ? '' mrs. Shepherd asked.

'' I don't have a boyfriend, '' she said.

'' What about Derek ? I heard that you are pregnant and if it really is Derek's baby, then he should be your boyfriend or were you making Derek cheat on his girlfriend again. I heard from Nancy a bit and also the fact that Derek and Addison broke up is enough for me to believe that you are pretty slutty. ''

'' What ? Well, he got me pregnant when we were together, but soon after that he started dating Rose and I don't know if they are broken up or not, but I didn't told him to do anything. I am not trying to make him leave everybody else, so he can find a way back to me. I don't want him if he doesn't want me. And I am not slutty, '' Meredith defended herself.

'' Say whatever you want, but I still believe that the baby is not Derek's and you are not the right one for her. And I am also doing everything I can to keep Derek away from you, '' Mrs Shepherd said.

'' I can make it easy for you, '' Meredith said and turned around to bump into Derek.

'' Honey, were you listening to us ? '' mrs Shepherd said.

'' By accident, yeah. Mother, what are you doing ? What are you saying ? '' Derek asked.

'' I... just want the best for you sweetie. And I know that Meredith is not right for you. Beside she told me that you are not her boyfriend, so nothing is keeping you, '' Mrs. Shepherd said.

Meredith kept looking the floor.

'' Well, we are not a couple, because I was fool enough to leave her so many times. I am the blame for most of the troubles we have. So you want to yell at someone or anything, then yell at me, '' Derek said.

'' And now you are lying to protect this girl. Derek I rose you to be someone better than that, '' mrs Shepherd said.

'' I can go, you don't need me, '' Meredith said.

'' Mere... '' Derek called her, but she didn't turn.

'' Thanks mom, now I have to start fixing it, again, '' Derek said and ran after Meredith.

'' Then I have done something right, '' Carolyn Shepherd said.

Derek walked to living room and looked for Meredith. He found Mark near the stairs and he went to him.

'' Dude, what is wrong with Mere. She looked pissed before coming out of the kitchen and now you. What happened between you two ? '' Mark said.

'' Where did she go ? '' Derek asked and looked around.

'' I am not sure I should tell you. Maybe she doesn't want to see you, '' Mark said.

'' She wants to see me. Where is she ? '' Derek said.

'' What happened ? Maybe she really hates you, '' Mark said.

'' My mother, '' Derek said.

'' Oh, '' Mark said. '' How bad ? ''

'' Very. She called Meredith slut and said that she doubts that the baby is mine, '' Derek replied.

'' She went upstairs, '' Mark said.

'' Thanks. ''

Derek ran up the stairs and knocked on Meredith's room. No answer.

'' Meredith, '' he called behind the door, '' It's me. Can I come in ? ''

No answer.

Derek heard bathroom door opening and closing, but nothing else. He entered and found it empty.

'' Mere, we need to talk. Come out, '' he said behind bathroom door.

'' Go away Derek. I'll be down soon, '' she said.

'' I won't leave. I'll wait for you. Right here, '' Derek said and sat on her bed.

'' I won't come out before you are gone, '' Meredith said.

'' Then we'll be stuck here. Come out now, please, ''Derek said.

'' NO ! Go away ! '' Meredith yelled.

Back downstairs

'' Have you seen Mere ? '' Cristina asked Mark.

'' She went running upstairs, after having a conversation with Derek's mother. Derek went after her, about 30 minutes ago, '' Mark said.

'' Holy crap. Derek's mother is asking all males here if they have slept with Meredith, '' Cristina said and went upstairs.

Now upstairs

'' Get out, '' Cristina said when she entered Meredith's room and found Derek sitting there.

'' No. I have to talk to Meredith, '' Derek said.

'' Out Shepherd. NOW ! '' Cristina yelled.

Derek kept on sitting, so Cristina threw him out, literally.

'' Mere, open the door, it's me. McBastard is waiting outside the door, I think, '' Cristina said and Meredith came out.

'' What happened ? '' Cristina asked.

'' Mrs. Shepherd said that I am slut and she does everything to keep Derek away from me, so I came to pack his things, so I could make it easier, but Derek was here. And he also overheard our conversation, '' Meredith said.

'' Okay. If you want to let Derek go, then fine, let him go. But I think you need a father to your child. Just stay friends, and everything will be okay. I at least hope. And if he keeps on being an ass, then I'll do something with him. I promise, '' Cristina said.

'' Thanks. Let's go back now. ''

And again downstairs.

'' Where are Meredith and Derek ? '' Addie askd Mark.

'' Why everybody keep asking me ? '' Mark asked.

'' Because you are Mark. It just, his mother is really drunk... and coming to us, '' Addie said.

'' Hey Carolyn, '' Addie and Mark said.

'' Hello my kids, '' Carolyn said when she came to Mark and Addie.

'' What's up ? '' Mark asked and got a glare from Addie.

'' Nothing. Mark, have you slept with Meredith ? '' Carolyn asked.

'' No, '' Mark said.

'' But how come you slept with Addie and not Meredith. That means you are lying, because Addie can't be more cheating than Meredith, '' Carolyn said.

Addie's jaw drop open and Mark did his best not to laugh.

'' Maybe because Derek and Meredith have never been in serious relationship and Meredith isn't sleeping around, '' Mark said.

'' Maybe. So you are not lying ? ''

'' No ! ''

'' What if Addie wouldn't be here ? ''

'' NO ! ''

'' Sure ? ''

'' Yes ! ''

Meredith and Cristina came, when Mark and Carolyn were arguing, Addie saw her and tried to get her away before she hears that, but Carolyn was faster.

'' Hello Meredith. I wondered where you were. Who did you sleep with ? '' she asked.

'' What ? '' Meredith asked.

'' She is drunk, '' Addie explained.

'' Let's go Mere, '' Cristina said.

'' You all know that it is not Derek's baby and are trying to help her cover it. No you are telling me the right man, so my son will be free, '' Carolyn said.

'' Well, if you wanna find the man I have been with in past... 2 years or such, then you have to find your son, '' Meredith said.

'' You liar ! '' Carolyn said.

Carolyn Shepherd looked around to see Derek, but didn't see him. So she climbed on the stairs, where Meredith and Cristina were standing.

'' Slut, listen to me very carefully. If it is Derek's baby, then you are having abort, if it is not, then you'll get rid of Derek. Got it ? '' Carolyn whispered to Meredith.

'' No abort. And I am saying once more, I am not keeping Derek, '' Meredith said.

'' You stupid slutty liar ! '' Carolyn yelled and pushed Meredith down a couple of steps. Mark was fastly by her side and Addie kept Carolyn from moving. Cristina was stunned.

Meredith heard someone coming to her side. She kept her eyes closed, but heard someone saying her name. It was Mark. She also heard people rushing around her, and someone lifting her up. She was taken upstairs, to her room, she thought. She felt familiar scent from the person carrying her. It was Derek. She opened her eyes and saw that she was right. Addie and Cristina were walking in front of her.

'' Put me down Derek, I am fine, '' she said.

'' You're awake, '' Derek said when Meredith closed her eyes again.

***

_The thing is that we can't control who we are related to. We can't control their decision and we can't control their liking to our choices. But we can control our decision and our likings. And that is the thing we should hold on to and make our decision so that we don't care what everybody else think. _


	13. The perfect day

Since Meredith was referring that she is fine and after Addison's check up it was confirmed, they went all back downstairs. Derek had to escort his mother away, she was also very drunk, so Derek ordered her a taxi and he went with her. Derek wanted to come back, but Meredith was not that into that idea, so Derek didn't came back.

Next morning...

Most of the people had left, only Owen was sleeping downstairs, Izzie and Alex in Izzie's room and Gerge was in his old room and Lexie was in his room too, sleeping on floor. And of course Meredith and Cristina were in Meredith's room.

When Meredith woke up, then she first ran to the bathroom. After that she took shower and brushed her teeth. And when she was walking downstairs, she saw everybody waking up from hangover.

'' Drinking is not so good, '' Meredith said to Alex and Izzie.

'' Shut up, '' Alex said.

'' You used to drink much more, '' Izzie said.

'' Used to. I'm gonna make coffee for you, but shower first, 'cause I can't stand the smell, '' Meredith said and walked away.

'' I hate her, '' Alex said.

'' Me too, '' Izzie said.

'' I heard that, '' Meredith said from downstairs. '' And I hate you too, '' she added.

'' Shower Iz, '' Alex said and Izzie went to a bathroom.

***

Later that day...

Lexie had gone away, she said she needed to see her dad and Owen had to run some errands, so only five of them were in Meredith's house. They were sitting on sofa watching Ellis Grey's surgery tapes. Cristina was really eager to learn, Izzie and George hid their eyes once in awhile, when it got ugly. Alex and Meredith just laughed at them. Alex was not a baby crying over things and Meredith had already seen those, so she knew exactly what was going to happen. There was also snacks, but Meredith was the only one, who actually ate anything. Suddenly the doorbell rang.

'' You go, '' Cristina said to Meredith.

Meredith stood up and saw that it was Derek behind the door.

'' Merry Christmas, '' he said when Meredith let him in.

'' Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too, '' she said.

Derek stepped closer to her and hugged her.

'' What do you want Derek ? '' She asked.

'' I wanted to see you and also apologize for what my mother did. She is not the nicest person, but if you get to know her, she is different person, '' Derek said.

'' Sorry no, I can't stand your mother, I am sorry about it, but I just can't. And you should go now, '' Meredith said.

'' But... '' Derek started.

'' Just go, '' Meredith said.

Derek was about to turn his back when he suddenly turned around and kissed her. She took it as a surprise and didn't respond to him. Instead of that she pushed him away.

'' Just go, '' she said quietly.

Derek was surprised, she always liked kissing him. What had changed ? He walked out wondering.

Meredith walked back to the sofa and started watching video again.

'' Who was it ? '' Alex asked.

'' Derek, '' she said.

'' What did he want ? '' Alex asked.

'' To apologize for her mother, '' she said.

'' Shhh. I am listening, '' Cristina said.

***

A couple of days later...

Morning in Meredith's house was early. Meredith got a new habit – visiting bathroom after waking up. Morning sickness started just after the big holidays. Alex and Izzie were working on their relationship and George was starting to have thoughts about Lexie. Cristina and Owen are having serious relationship or Owen has with Cristina, but she is doubting after that '' not getting married wedding.'' Meredith still doesn't want to see Derek that much and his mother either. Addison met a new man, Pete. Actually they have met before, but Pete came to SGH after Christmas and he likes Addison. Mark is Meredith's friend and Derek is hating it more than before. He was so close...

In hospital...

Meredith, Alex, Izzie, George and Cristina were waiting for Bailey in locker room. All other residents were there also there. They were making small talk about their holidays and upcoming surgeries. Bailey finally walked in and got them assignments. Cristina was in cardio, Alex in plastic, Izzie with Addison, George with Derek and Meredith with Bailey.

'' What are we doing today Bailey ? '' Meredith asked.

'' I have appendectomy later, but before you are doing charts and send some interns to clinic too. And I also want you away from neuro wing and specially the head of it. I don't need any drama, '' Bailey said.

'' Yes mam, '' Meredith said and walked to interns locker room to get her interns do charts and clinic.

Lunch time.

Meredith was rushing into cafeteria. She didn't have that much time, but eating needs to be done. And there was also Derek Shepherd coming after her. She sat into the table with her fellow residents.

'' Who is after her ? '' Alex asked Cristina.

'' I bet someone evil, '' Izzie said.

'' She has surgery soon and also Shepherd is after her, '' Cristina said.

'' Thanks. Beside everything was going so good, I had Christmas with friends and no crappy family this time. And now he comes and ruins the day, '' Meredith said.

Derek seemed to be scared of the group, so he never came to the table with them. His mother was still in town and so he was still scared to face her friends. After he entered the cafeteria, he saw Mark sitting with Addy in one table around the corner. They were pretty much hiding, like it seemed to him. Derek bought himself a lunch and was about to walk their table, someone called him.

'' Derek, '' his mother said.

'' Mother ? What are you doing here ? '' Derek asked. He also noticed that Meredith was aware of his mother being there.

'' I came to have lunch and see my son. And also meet that bitch, when she can't run away, '' she said.

'' Meredith is off. You can leave mom, '' he said.

'' Oh. Then tell me who is that blonde sitting over there with freaky friends ? '' she said and pointed to Meredith.

'' I didn't know she was here. And I am also saying that you are keeping away from her, '' Derek said.

'' Make me, '' she said and started walking to Meredith.

Mark and Addy saw and heard the talk.

'' Should we go ? '' Mark asked when Derek's mother was walking to Meredith.

'' I don't know. It is not our business actually, '' Addy said.

'' I know, '' Mark said.

'' Screw that. Let's move, '' Addy said.

'' Mrs. Shepherd ? Nice to see you ! '' Mark yelled when they stood up.

'' Isn't that the manwhore ? '' Mrs Shepherd asked Mark.

'' No, '' Mark said.

'' Oh, I must be mistaken Markie, but I am pretty sure this girl here is serious whore, '' She said and turned to Meredith.

'' You are so wrong, '' Alex said to defend Meredith.

'' Am I ?? Then why is she carrying Mark's baby ? '' Carolyn Shepherd asked.

***

_Correction. After surprise like that they day is perfect. It only gets better after a couple of moments or days. Something like that comes up and the expression you tried to make is totally ruined by a lie. I don't get how some people do it all the time. Why people lie ? To protect someone – fine, I get that, but these lies should be harmless and little, like the person is not here. But these people, who lie just to make some drama, to get what they want... well I simply can't understand it._

***

**Authors note: Since there aren't any reviews... should I quit writing this story ?? If not, then give me 5 reviews for this chapter and the next one will be up :) . **

**Liina**


	14. Author's note

**AUTORS NOTE !!**

**Sorry guys, this is not an update. I wanted to apologize, because my update was supposed to be up about a week ago. Well, I had it written, but my computer decided to break down and so my laptop ( where all my stuff is ) is in repair, and I hope to get it back next week with all continent still there, so I don't know when I am updating. I use my mother's computer too, but she is really protective about it and I don't have much time home alone... So I am apologizing, and saying that I will update.. soonish. I have no idea when that will be, but I will do it. But despite this, I really truly hope, that these few readers I have will stay with me... Until I get my laptop back one day :) .**

Liina


	15. Doubts

'' Why are you assuming that it is Mark's baby ?? '' Addison asked.

'' Because they both are whores, '' Mrs Shepherd said.

'' I am not ! '' Meredith said.

'' Neither am I ! '' Mark said.

'' But you both are denying it. Tell everybody about it. You can' t lie forever and when the baby will born then it is to late, because my son is blind and can't see it. But trust me, the baby is like Mark not like you Derek, '' Mrs Shepherd continued.

'' I haven't sleep with Mark, '' Meredith said.

'' How come ? Addison did and all my girls I think, then why you didn't ? '' Mrs Shepherd asked.

'' Maybe because I am friend with Mark and you don't sleep with friends, '' Meredith said.

'' I don't believe you, '' Mrs Shepherd said. '' Come Derek, '' she said when Derek wasn't coming.

'' Hang on mom. I'll be right there, '' he said.

'' Sucker, '' Cristina said when Derek had gone.

***

E.R.

Alex, Izzie, Meredith, Cristina and George were paged to E.R. with their interns. When they arrived they saw that Bailey, Callie, Mark, Addie, Owen, Arizona, Hahn and Derek were already there. A lot of other people was there too.

'' We have a big situation. A drunk driver drove into train. A lot of victims, a lot of deaths. Be ready and give them the best care we can, '' Chief said and walked up.

'' Holy ! '' Cristina said.

'' Yeah, '' Meredith replied.

'' Shepherd, Bailey, O'Malley, Hunt, Yang, Stevens, Grey and Karev, go meet the ambulances, others prep the E.R., discharge people, move non- emergent operations, clean clinic, go there and work in E.R., '' Chief said.

Everybody did as told, so E.R was pretty empty at this moment, before victims arrived. The people, who stayed outside were shivering, since it was winter and minus grades on Celsius. It was raining snow and it is not that common in Seattle. The roads were covered with ice and so car crashes were common.

Finally the ambulances started to arrive. Everyone got a case to deal with. Alex was with Chief, Cristina with Owen, Meredith with Bailey, George with Derek and Izzie with Addison. The interns were happy about it, because it means they can actually do anything.

***

Next morning in interns locker room...

It was only 5 am, but most of SGH doctors never left the hospital and emergency surgeries are finally done, so they have a couple of hours to rest... or not. They could go to o.r. any moment again, if their pager goes off. Or if Bailey walks in like just happened. She saw that in locker room were many residents, most of them in separate corners trying to sleep. Only exception was with Alex, Izzie, Cristina, George and Meredith. They were sitting on bench, leaning on each other and trying to sleep. Bailey had seen that once before, when there was train crash couple of years earlier. Then these 5 were her interns and damn good ones to look back. Like before she had to be the person to wake them up and get to work. But when she looked at them, she was unable to wake them up. Izzie – blonde who falls for wrong persons, George – person with wrong choices, but good doctor, Alex – arrogant surgeon, who likes plastics, Cristina – surgery hungry girl and Meredith – pregnant resident, who has always had messy love life... These are Bailey's interns or residents whoever, but they are her babies and good surgeons. It didn't matter at this point, she had to get them up, all residents in fact. So she hit the door with her charts and everybody snapped up.

'' People, we are getting more patients. Everybody who are up to work, go to pit, everybody who aren't – go to pit. I have no choice. Morrows and Smith, you were on call last night and the night before, you can go. Karev – Sloan asked for you, Yang – go to cardio wing, make yourself busy, Stevens – Montgomery in pit, O'Malley – Chief has a surgery in 30 minutes, you are scrubbing in and Grey – go home, eat and sleep, '' Bailey said.

'' I wish I could be that happy, '' Alex said to Meredith.

'' Get yourself pregnant and you will be, '' Meredith said.

'' I think I pass this one, '' Alex said.

'' I thought that, '' Meredith said.

'' People move, '' Bailey said when she saw her residents still there.

'' I think I need coffee, '' Cristina said.

'' Yeah, '' Izzie said.

'' I think I need a double coffee, '' George said.

'' Bailey, we do have time for coffee ? Or don't ? '' Alex asked.

'' Yeah, sure, '' Bailey said.

Everybody left the locker room, beside Meredith and Bailey was there too.

'' When does my new shift start ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Tomorrow morning, '' Bailey said.

'' What am I gonna do for so long ? '' Meredith asked again.

'' Hide from mrs. Shepherd, '' Bailey suggested.

'' Good idea... Is she still in hospital ? '' Meredith asked.

'' I don't know. I think she is, but I really hope she is not, because that woman really gets my nerves, '' Bailey said.

'' That makes two of us, '' Meredith said.

'' Yeah, '' Bailey said.

Meredith turned back to get her stuff from locker room and Bailey sat on chair, to rest herself for a bit. She got no sleep last night. Meredith felt nauseous and ran to bathroom. She emptied her stomach into toilet and when she returned to locker room, she saw Bailey still there.

'' Morning sickness is not a good thing, '' Bailey said.

'' No, '' Meredith replied. '' Have a nice day in work, '' she added when she took her stuff and walked out of the locker room.

***

In Derek's office...

Derek was sitting behind his desk, while his mother was sleeping on couch. All thoughts went through his mind. Was it true about Meredith and Mark like her mother told before ? Sure Meredith wouldn't cheat on him, but they were broken up and he was sleeping with Rose. She could have slept with Mark, they get well and Mark is always up for sex. Is it possible that this kid is Mark's ? Even if it is, would it be wrong to walk away ?

'' Son, don't hurt yourself with this thing. You can walk away while this kid is not born, '' his mother said.

'' You're awake, '' Derek said seeing her mother awake.

'' Yes dear. Don't think about that Meredith girl anymore, you can just leave her and take back that nice girl. Rose, or whatever her name was, '' Carolyn said.

'' Mom. It is my love life. How you are so sure that she slept with Mark ? '' Derek asked.

'' I heard nurses talking about it earlier. If you want information go there. Something about seeing them going to on-call room together and then him coming out happily before her, '' Carolyn said.

'' What ? '' Derek said.

'' It's true. I just want the best for you son, '' Carolyn said.

'' I know mom. I just can't believe. I caught them once myself and they told that nothing happened, but now I know that they are just lying, '' Derek said.

'' Unfortunately. I know you want a kid, but let it be your kid and not Mark's, '' Carolyn said.

'' Yeah. I will end everything with her as soon as I see her. Now let her sleep, she is pregnant after all, '' Derek said.

'' You are such a good person son, '' Carolyn said and smiled. Her plan was now done, Derek will leave that whore and will get back together with Rose or even Addison.

***

_There are good and bad plans. But the thing with bad plans is that they seem to come true more often and of course they make so much more damage. But nobody is blaming you if you had sleepless night and can't think clear in morning... of course, but if it makes you doubt in love and the person you love, then there are no excuses. Nothing explains doubting the loved one, if all you have is rumor. It is not a reason to have doubts._


	16. Judging

That evening...

Meredith was still in home, asleep. Izzie, Alex and George had come there too in the mean time. Meredith opened her eyes and looked at the clock: it was 8 pm already, she had slept the whole day. She changed her clothes and went downstairs.

'' Good evening guys, '' Meredith said to Izzie, Alex and George.

'' Hey Mere. You are finally awake, '' George said.

'' Sleepyhead is up, '' Alex smirked.

'' I made spaghetti, it might be cold, but you can warm it up, '' Izzie said.

'' Thanks Iz, '' Meredith said and walked to kitchen.

The food was cold like Izzie said before, so she started warming it. She also drank water, because her throat was really dry. Soon spaghetti was warm, she ate and went to living room with others.

'' Are you having a day off tomorrow ? '' Meredith asked.

'' I have. Why ? '' Alex replied.

'' I just wanted to know if I am the only one. That's it, '' Meredith said.

'' Okay, '' Alex said.

They watched movie called '' Homecoming, '' and drank beer except Meredith who had her orange juice. They heard a doorbell ringing and Meredith went to see: it was Derek.

***

Cristina was on-call that night. She was in nurses station charting, when nurses started to talk. She didn't pay attention at first, but she heard them saying Meredith's name, so she started to listen.

'' McDreamy is broking up with Meredith tonight, '' one said.

'' Really ? I thought that she was having his baby, '' the second told.

'' Nop. It is Mark's baby, they apparently slept together and Derek caught them. And he also asked me to dinner, so it is final this time, '' third one told, but Cristina recognized Rose's voice.

'' Wow, that was really fast. So Meredith Grey gets dumped again, '' first one said.

'' That bitch deserves it. For lying to Derek and hurting him all the time, '' Rose said.

'' And his mother told that the good thing about nurses is that they know everything and they know how to gossip, '' second said.

'' Yeah. And she also thanked us for telling her the truth, and I thanked her for the information we had to work with, '' Rose said.

'' His mother has a brain, '' one said.

Cristina took her charts and started walking away. On the hallway she met nurse Olivia.

'' Hey Olivia. Do you know what Rose is talking about ? '' Cristina said.

'' About McDreamy's latest break up with Meredith ? '' Olivia asked.

'' How do you know it ? ''

'' Mrs. Shepherd told it this morning. She has been feeding Rose and her buddies for last days and Rose has been giving the changed version to everybody else,'' Olivia said.

'' So Derek's mom it the blame ? '' Cristina asked.

'' Mostly. But Rose made up the story Mark and Meredith sleeping together. I overheard her discussing it, '' Olivia said.

'' Thanks Olivia, '' Cristina said.

'' You're welcome doc, '' Olivia said.

***

In Meredith's house...

Meredith let Derek in and they went to kitchen to talk.

'' I didn't expect you. Where did I got that honor ? '' Meredith asked.

'' You got pregnant, that is reason enough, '' Derek said and smiled.

'' You want anything to drink ? '' Meredith asked.

'' No thanks, I am fine, '' Derek said.

'' So, um, what do you want ? '' Meredith asked.

'' The truth, '' Derek said and looked into her eyes.

'' Okay. About what ? '' Meredith asked.

'' I heard that you did sleep with Mark and Mark is also the father of your baby, '' Derek said.

'' Oh... And who told you that ? Your mother ? Some of the nurses ? '' Meredith asked sarcastically.

'' It doesn't matter. Is it true ? '' Derek asked.

'' No ! '' Meredith yelled.

'' You can stop lying now, '' Derek said.

'' I am not lying, '' Meredith said.

'' Then prove it, '' Derek said.

'' How ? '' Meredith asked.

'' I want paternity test, '' Derek said.

'' Well. Now is time for you too choose. I am not doing the test, because I know it is not necessary. Do you trust me or not ? '' Meredith asked.

'' No, I don't trust you. You have lied to me so many times. I cannot believe you, '' Derek said.

'' Then I guess you made your decision. Do not step over this door anymore. I don't want to see you anymore, '' Meredith said.

'' Good. At least we think the same way about one thing. I don't want to come here anymore and watch you carry my best friend's baby, '' Derek said.

'' If you say so, '' Meredith said.

'' I say so and I know it. I don't know what I was thinking, when I fell for you. When I started relationship with you. You were a whore and you still are. You are not a person that I can trust, '' Derek said.

'' I am not a whore ! '' Meredith yelled.

'' Of course you are not. You are just sleeping with everybody ! ''

'' I am not ! ''

'' Stop lying. It is not good for your health ! ''

'' Then a good thing is that I am not ! ''

'' Derek you should go now, '' Alex said when he arrived with George and Izzie.

'' Stay out of this man ! '' Derek yelled.

'' Get yourself out of this house. I will bring everything that belongs to you tomorrow, '' Izzie said.

'' You are not bossing me ! I am having a conversation with pregnant whore, who claims to be carrying my baby ! '' Derek yelled.

'' I am not feeling that good, '' Meredith said, but no-one heard her.

She held the table, to gain strength. She stared the floor and tried to breathe. She felt nausage and everything went black. The last thing she heard was Alex saying her name and Derek laughing and mentioning faking.

George escorted Derek away from the room, Alex called Addison and Izzie was checked Meredith's pulse.

'' She is 130, '' Izzie said.

'' Right away, '' Alex said to phone, '' Addison told us to take her to hospital and she will be there shortly, '' he turned to Izzie.

'' Then let's go, '' Izzie said.

Alex lifted Meredith up and Izzie started the car. George got into the car too and they drove to hospital.

***

_What happens when you are judged for thing you never did ? Would it take you down ? Or nothing at all ? What if it is the person you love, who causes you pain ? Then it would suck and it will if you let it take control over you. And in some conditions, it might be dangerous. It might be fatal even, but it all depends on your reaction. And if you are not taking it well, then it sucks and it takes you really seriously truly down. _


	17. Hello friend vs kill him

_George escorted Derek away from the room, Alex called Addison and Izzie was checked Meredith's pulse._

_'' She is 130, '' Izzie said._

_'' Right away, '' Alex said to phone, '' Addison told us to take her to hospital and she will be there shortly, '' he turned to Izzie._

_'' Then let's go, '' Izzie said._

_Alex lifted Meredith up and Izzie started the car. George got into the car too and they drove to hospital._

_*** _

Meredith had a panic attack and she was taken to hospital. Addison did what she had to do and Meredith got home the next morning. She was given 3 days off and Addison did her check up too. She was 21 weeks and it is a girl. Derek stayed away from her... or actually others kept him away in case and he wasn't that eager to see Meredith.

The next 3 days Meredith was home, Izzie, George, Alex, Cristina, Addie and Mark came to see her when they had time or Bailey was not around. Derek's mother flew back to New York the evening Meredith got home. Derek didn't actually ask Rose out, but they had a dinner together and went to Derek's trailer together.

***

The day back in work...

Meredith had to change her scrubs size again that morning. That was the second time she had to do that. Izzie, George, Alex and Cristina had to listen her rant about her being fat and huge and such.

'' Stop denying it. I have gained so much and I am fat, '' Meredith said.

'' You are pregnant, not fat, '' George said.

'' It means the same... Doesn't it ? '' Meredith said.

'' Hey girl you are not fat. I would totally ask you out if I wasn't your friend and also busy with Iz, '' Alex said.

'' Alex ! '' Izzie and Cristina yelled.

'' Thank you Alex, '' Meredith said.

Bailey walked in and stopped the conversation.

'' Alex – Shepherd, Izzie – Addison, Cristina – pit, George – Sloan and Grey – clinic, '' Bailey said.

'' Come on, '' Alex protested.

'' Karev, you don't protest. Personal life stays out of this hospital. And this morning Shepherd asked Meredith actually and I refuse to put them in the same room. Cristina would kill him, Izzie would do the same, George would look scared all the time, but you can do your outburst without killing him, your words hurt so, I chose you to make that bastard feel bad, '' Bailey said.

'' Oh... Thank you, I guess, '' Alex said.

'' You're welcome, get to work now. I think everybody have fair task, so move yourself, you have wasted 2 minutes in saving lives already, '' Bailey said and everybody moved.

Alex went to neuro wing to find Derek there kissing Rose.

'' Excuse me doc ! This is place for work actually, '' Alex yelled.

'' Sorry Karev. I was expecting someone else, '' Derek said.

'' Well, she is not coming. She still has wish to kill you, and I believe you wouldn't survive it, '' Alex said.

'' Okay. Sorry Rose. I have to work, see you later, '' Derek said and winked.

'' I give you a hint McBastard : Nights are dark here. And when you look over your shoulder you see one of us there and then you have nowhere to run, '' Alex said.

'' I'll keep that in mind. Now our patient. I might even let you help me on surgery, '' Derek said said and they entered the patient's room.

'' Good morning ms. Todd. I am dr. Shepherd, this is dr. Karev. We will be doing your surgery today. You have nothing to worry about, I do this surgery successfully all the time, '' Derek said.

'' Good morning surgeons. Good to hear it. And you can call me Kate, '' ms. Todd said.

'' Okay Kate. See you in surgery. Dr. Karev will talk to you about this surgery now, '' Derek said and left.

'' Yes, dr. McBastard, '' Alex said.

'' Watch your tongue dr. Karev, '' Derek said.

'' Same to you... Oh right you can't say anything now. She is not yours anymore and you won't get another look at her or anything else. And don't even think about being father to that baby, because everyone else would be better role model. Even I would be better role model, so excuse me, I have a patient to talk to and you have a nurse to kiss and cry over a perfect pregnant lady, '' Alex said.

'' Dr. Karev, '' Derek said angrily.

'' What ? Are you gonna get me off this case ? That would be patient's loss. I wouldn't miss working with you, '' Alex said.

'' We will talk about this, '' Derek said and left the room.

'' So ms. Todd. Let's talk about you now, '' Alex said to Kate.

'' Wow ! What that man did to your girl ? '' Allyson asked.

'' Nothing to my girl. More to my roomie, best friend and I guess you can call her my sister it this weird way too, '' Alex said.

'' Whatever. What did he do ? '' Kate asked.

'' This is a long story. Let's talk about your surgery better, '' Alex said.

'' Dr. Karev, please. I have time, '' Kate said.

'' Alex, '' Alex said.

'' Alex. Talk to me. I have time and since you are my doctor, I think you have it too, '' Allyson said.

'' Well, I guess. It all started when we – I mean Meredith, George, Izzie, Cristina and I started 4 years ago or something. Meredith had a one night stand with a guy she didn't know before. And next day starting in work came out that he was her boss. The boss of all of us... '' Alex started.

***

Lunch time...

Meredith, Alex, George, Cristina and Izzie were sitting around one table. They all were discussing their surgeries and patients. Meredith was eating double like usually at these days. And to make her feel better others tried to eat more too... Mostly they had leftovers a lot or the food disappeared under the table.

'' So, Alex, how is McBastard today ? '' Izzie asked.

'' McBastard. But the patient is kind of nice, '' Alex said.

'' Who ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Ms. Todd. Kate. She has aneurysm and Shepherd is removing it later today, '' Alex said.

'' Katie ?? Is she coming from DC ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Yeah. She is some kind of agent. Working for government. And she is hot too, '' Alex said.

'' It is Katie for sure. I know that girl. We went to same camp one summer. We got well, but when I went to med school and she to somewhere else... I don't remember the school, we didn't communicate that much, '' Meredith said.

'' Oh. So she knows you ? '' Alex asked.

'' Yeah. I wanna see her later, '' Meredith said.

'' Sure. It just... I got into a argument with McBastard in front of her and she insisted on me talking about you and Derek, so I told her the story. From the beginning, I didn't know you knew her or she knew you, '' Alex said.

'' It's okay. You saved me from talking it, '' Meredith said.

'' Thanks for not killing me, '' Alex said.

'' The day is not over yet, '' Meredith smirked.

'' I know, '' Alex smiled.

'' I am done here. Let's go, '' Meredith said and stood up.

'' Yeah, sure, '' Alex said when Meredith grabbed his arm.

Meredith and Alex arrived to Kate's room when Derek was there.

'' Katie ! '' Meredith said from doorway.

'' Mere ! '' Kate yelled.

Meredith ran to her bedside and they hugged.

'' Dr. Grey. Now is not the best time. I am talking with a patient, visiting hour is over, '' Derek said.

'' Shepherd outside ! '' Alex yelled.

'' You don't boss me. You are resident, I am attending. I outrank you, '' Derek said.

'' I am her friend you are her ex-boyfriend, '' Alex said.

'' And I was picked to protect president, before I resigned, so I outrank you all. Get out now doc. I wanna talk with Mere, '' Kate said.

'' What ? '' Derek asked.

'' Out ! Shepherd ! Now ! '' Alex yelled.

Derek looked at Kate, then Alex and then Meredith and walked out with Alex.

'' You got pregnant. Wanna talk about it ? '' Kate asked.

'' You have aneurysm. Wanna talk about that ? '' Meredith asked.

'' I asked first, '' Kate said.

'' But Alex already told you everything, '' Meredith said.

'' I guess we are even, '' Kate said.

'' No, I wanna hear your story. It has been so long, '' Meredith said.

'' I know. Okay. After I graduated... '' Kate started talking.

***

**Okay. If you wondered then yes, Kate Todd is from another tv-show NCIS, and yes it is her. I am making her someone like Sadie... someone from Meredith's back. Now I know that I am writing next chapter with her in, but I am asking you... Am I keeping her ? Am I getting rid of her ? Will she move to Seattle ? Or is Meredith moving to DC ? Or is she a criminal and will be hated ?? It is up to you, my readers. I won't do anything until I have 7 votes for one opinion... and of course new thoughts are welcomed. I have an idea, but I will wait the reviews first... Until I get those votes I will keep her in as a patient... not that important... I think...**

**So give me something to work with... every opinion in welcomed...**

**Liina  
**


	18. Think and then act

Next day...

Kate's surgery was over, Meredith and Derek were still fighting, Alex, Izzie, George and Cristina still hated Derek and Meredith is still pregnant... Feels like nothing had changed, but has. Everything has changed with them.

First last night Rose and Derek got together finally. They had a date and all kind of gossip is traveling around the hospital. Alex and Izzie also made up and they are officially a couple in serious relationship. George found out that he loved Lexie and they talked about it. Came out that Lexie was in love with George too. Owen and Cristina talked about their relationship and decided to separate, because Owen has PTSD and it was becoming dangerous to Cristina. And for Meredith was it finding an old friend and finding out about her job and life now.

The morning came and all residents were in locker room waiting for Bailey to come. Finally she stepped into the locker room.

'' Today is pit day. All residents are working in pit. Inters, are not working there, are helping in clinic, '' Bailey said.

'' Great, '' Alex said.

'' Dr. Bailey, can I work in clinic, please ? '' Izzie asked.

'' Yes you can Stevens, but if anyone asks they you are supposed to be in clinic, '' Bailey said.

'' Thank you Bailey, '' Izzie said.

'' Yeah yeah. Now everybody go save lives, '' Bailey said.

Everybody nod and left the locker room. Bailey smiled – she had done her job well, her interns have become residents and really good ones too. She was excellent teacher and they were good learners and she had done it right. Then she also left residents locker room.

***

Meredith, Alex, Cristina and George were working in pit. Mostly on sutures and such things, so neither of them had a hope to get on surgery floor. After a long time a car crash victims were brought into SGH. Meredith and Cristina got first victim with a head trauma, Alex and George had a kid with multiple injuries.

'' Alex, change with me, '' Meredith told Alex.

'' Why ? '' Alex asked.

'' No reason. I thought you would like head trauma and Shepherd better, '' Meredith said.

'' Oh, okay then. You can go with Bambi to Arizona, '' Alex said.

Alex smiled to Meredith and they switched patients.

***

At lunch time...

Meredith found herself a new place to eat – in Kate's room. Since the cafeteria was always full of people Cristina, Alex, Izzie and George joined her too.

'' How is your kid doing ? '' Cristina asked.

'' She survived one surgery and Callie wants to go in later today again, '' Meredith said.

'' 2 surgeries in one day.. Wow, let's just hope 007 keeps away from her, '' Alex said.

'' Thanks Alex, '' George said.

'' Whatever. I would say that JackAss is behaving good today, no comments, fully professional, '' Alex said.

'' I guess plants have that affect, '' Cristina said.

'' Maybe. At least he is not pain in the ass anymore. Mere, I think you are now safe to work with him, '' Alex said.

'' I think neuro is ruined for me and I am more into general now or something. Aneurysms are not that interesting anymore, appy is much better, '' Meredith said.

'' See ? Ruined, '' Cristina said to others.

'' Hey ! I heard that, '' Meredith said.

'' I know now, '' Cristina said.

'' Can you please talk about anything else but surgeries. I am so tired of this, '' Kate said.

'' Sorry Katie, '' Alex said.

'' Don't call me like that. You are just like Tony, I guess you should form a club or something, '' Kate said.

'' Maybe we should, but I have to meet him first, '' Alex said.

'' Yeah, but I hope it never happens, '' Kate said.

Everybody laughed.

'' When are you discharged btw ? '' Meredith asked Kate.

'' I don't know. You tell me. Shepherd promised to check me later and then let know, '' Kate said.

'' Okay. Let me know then, '' Meredith said.

'' Let you or your huge belly know ? '' Kate asked and laughed.

'' I am not that fat, '' Meredith protested and pushed her tray away.

'' Hey, it was joke. You are not, now eat, '' Kate said.

'' No, I don't want to get fatter, '' Meredith said.

'' Eat ! And that is an order, '' Kate said.

Meredith gave her a look and then kept eating. About 10 minutes later, when everybody was still eating, all pagers started peeping.

'' 911, pit, '' Meredith said.

'' Me too, '' Alex said.

'' Yeah, '' George and Cristina said and left the room running.

'' Hey. Mine didn't go off, '' Izzie said.

'' I guess you are needed here, '' Kate said.

Izzie started eating again, but then her pager was peeping too.

'' My labs are back. Sorry Kate, gotta go, but I'll be back later, '' Izzie said.

'' Looking forward it, '' Kate said and Izzie walked out of the room.

In pit...

Meredith, Alex, Cristina and George rushed to meet the ambulances and saw their interns already waiting. The ambulances arrived and came out that there was shooting and victims are brought in. Alex and Meredith shared a first patient, Ari Haswari – bullet wound in head. He was rushed into surgery fast with Derek, so this time Meredith didn't have a choice.

In their way to o.r. Meredith was stopped by Bailey, so Alex went on alone.

'' Grey, can you handle it ? '' Bailey asked.

'' Yes. I am fully professional, doing my job and I am still on top of my game, '' Meredith said.

'' Okay. I will check in with you soon. Just to be sure, extra pressure on you is not that good, '' Bailey said.

'' I know, dr. Bailey. I am fine, '' Meredith said.

'' I have heard that before. Now go, '' Bailey said.

Meredith nod and ran to o.r. floor. When she arrived the scrub room, Derek was there too. She felt urge to run, but she didn't.

'' Hey Meredith, '' Derek said.

'' Dr. Shepherd, '' Meredith said and started scrubbing in.

'' You can call me Derek, '' Derek said.

'' I know. But I prefer dr. Shepherd, '' Meredith said.

'' Meredith, look... I was an ass. I thought about the way I was acting and I don't want to have any more fighting between me and you and your friends. Let's just be friends ? '' Derek asked.

'' You are pathetic Derek. We can't be friends, but I guess you can be in your girl's life. But it would be better for us to keep our relationship strictly professional, '' Meredith said.

'' Meredith... '' Derek started.

'' It is dr. Grey and we have to go, '' Meredith said and left scrub room. Derek came out just after her.

'' Okay, it's a beautiful day to save lives, '' Derek said and smiled to Rose.

Alex kept a close eye on Meredith just in case.

After surgery in scrub room...

Alex, Meredith and Derek were scrubbing off and watching the o.r. They saved the patient.

'' Good work there Karev and Grey, '' Derek broke the silence.

'' Thanks, '' Meredith and Alex mumbled.

'' Keep an eye on him. Karev, I think you have another patient too keep a close eye, so Grey... Stay overnight and make sure he is alive. I'm scared that he might start coding, '' Derek said.

'' Yes, dr. Shepherd, '' Meredith said.

Derek left the scrub room, so Alex and Meredith were there alone.

'' What was that ? '' Alex asked.

'' He wanted us to be friends, but I said that is it better to keep everything professional, '' Meredith said.

'' Oh... That is a move. At least we are not fighting anymore. Of course I can do something, but only if you want to. I guess we will keep hating him for a long long time, but if you want it that way, then I guess we have no other chance, '' Alex said.

'' Yeah. It is what I want, so thank you. You are a really good friend, '' Meredith said.

'' I am doing my best, '' Alex smirked and they left the scrub room.

***

Kate's room...

Meredith walked to Kate's room after scrubbing out. She found that she wasn't there alone: 4 men and a woman was in her room. Meredith was standing in doorway for awhile.

'' Hey Mere, come in. These are people I work with: our medical examiner dr. Mallard, but everybody calls him Ducky, my boss Leroy Jethro Gibbs, senior field agent Tony DiNozzo, special agent Timothy McGee and forensic specialist Abby. Guys this is Meredith Grey, my friend and doctor here, '' Kate said.

'' Nice to meet you, '' Meredith said.

'' The pleasure is all mine, '' Tony said.

'' Did you perform Kate's surgery ? '' Ducky asked.

'' No, my friend and boss did, '' Meredith said.

'' When is she getting home ? '' Timothy asked.

'' I don't know. Shepherd should get here soon and then he tells, '' Meredith said.

'' Okay. Do you happen to know what happened with shooting victims ? '' Gibbs asked.

'' Um, Ari Haswari was in o.r. with me and he is critical, I am monitoring him this night and if he makes it, then there is a big chance that he will survive. He had a brain surgery, bullet went through his frontal lobe, but stopped in skull. It was long surgery, but Shepherd is really good surgeon, '' Meredith explained.

'' Damn it. That bastard never dies, '' Gibbs said.

'' Wait... You were the one shooting them ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Yes. They are terrorists. What about the other one ? Do you know anything, because they give us no information ? '' Tony asked.

'' No, but I can check. I believe he had 2 bullets shot into abdomen. Our general surgeon dr. Bailey is also very good and I think he made it, but I can't say anything for sure. But I can check, if you want to, '' Meredith offered.

'' That would be nice dr. Grey, '' Ducky said.

'' Meredith, '' Meredith said and left the room.

'' She is hot, '' Tony said.

'' She is pregnant, '' Gibbs said.

'' So don't even think about it, '' Kate said.

'' How you know she is pregnant ? '' Tony asked.

'' It was obvious. She is tiny, but her abdomen is huge and I had a pregnant women home a long time ago, '' Gibbs said.

'' Oh... But she is so hot, '' Tony said.

'' DiNozzo ! '' Gibbs shouted and slapped him.

'' Thank you boss, '' Tony said.

Meredith smiled...

'' Good that my boss doesn't do that, because then my head would be broken, '' Meredith said.

'' Well, I guess Tony's head is broken a long time ago. At least he has a brain damage, '' Kate said.

'' Then I wasn't wrong about him, '' Meredith smirked.

'' Yeah. You always had a ability to read people, '' Kate said.

'' Doc, you should be looking our terrorist instead. I wanna know if he survives, '' Gibbs said.

'' Sorry. I'm on my way. Kate, let Shepherd page me, when he is done here, '' Meredith said and left the room. She went to nurses station to ask a chart for Shahim Delner, who is the second terrorist. For her surprise the chart wasn't there, so she went to Shahim's room. First thing she saw was empty bed and open window. She rushed to the window, but someone grabbed her from back and she felt a knife on her neck...

'' One move and you are dead, bitch, '' she heard a man say to her, it must be Shahim, a terrorist...

***

_Always think and then act. Don't rush into rooms, where is terrorist or go in a surgery with your ex. And don't listen what people say about you, and don't sleep with every men and don't get pregnant... And a lot of other ''don't do it'' warnings. We all know them, but we never do how they say, we rush into situations and when you are in trouble a voice in head says... I told you so. This is what my brain is telling me now... And I know, not rush into a room with a terrorist in it, specially when you have no idea what to do... I know it now, so please listen my advise... Think and then act...._


	19. Rules

_First thing she saw was empty bed and open window. She rushed to the window, but someone grabbed her from back and she felt a knife on her neck..._

_'' One move and you are dead, bitch, '' she heard a man say to her, it must be Shahim, a terrorist..._

_*** _

'' Now you will do everything as I say, or you won't leave this room, '' Shahim said.

'' Ye... yeah... I will do it, '' Meredith said almost freaking out.

'' First, you will get me my clothes and all stuff I had and then I wanna see Ari, '' Shahim said.

'' Who ? '' Meredith asked bluntly.

'' The man, who was brought in with me. Help me there and let's move like you are taking me to x-ray or somewhere, '' the terrorist said.

'' Okay... '' Meredith said.

She helped him to wheelchair and they left the room. They moved in hospital slowly, but after Shahim got his clothes, he stood up and he moved behind Meredith, with his knife on her back. They went to Ari's room. Shahim looked at his fellow terrorist and talked with him in arabic, although Ari wasn't awake. Meredith tried to slip out of the room, but Shahim noticed it and stopped her. He punched her in face and she fell over.

'' No-one is messing with me, '' he said.

Meredith wiped away the blood dripping from her lips and cheek. She stayed on ground where she was thrown, but she was shaking – it was the fear. Suddenly they heard chief's voice through the radio in hospital.

'' Attention !! We have escaped terrorist is this hospital. Everybody evacuate from the building until he is found. If anyone has seen this man, then contact me via pager, and let me know. Shahim if you hear me, then please give yourself up, because we will catch you anyway, '' Chief said.

'' No, you won't get me in, and I just found myself a way out – you. Now you are officially a hostage and I am not very nice person, who is keeping you, '' Shahim said.

Meredith looked around horrified. Shahim smiled and locked the door, he also put on the blinds and opened the window.

***

Derek was checking his patients, making the final check up. He hoped to see Meredith in Kate's room, maybe he could still talk her into being friends. Maybe he could fix something, that is broken thanks to him, maybe he could apologize for things her mother made him say and his jealousy took over. He could say that he is sorry for everything and believes her. He could say that he trusts her, but her mother made him see things differently... he could say that all, if Meredith was in Kate's room and he could call her out, first to talk about their patient, Ari Haswari and then he would say all he wants to tell her, to make her forgive him. He took a deep breath, he was standing at Kate's door. Derek thought whether to step in or stand there for another minute. He finally decided to enter the room. For his surprise there were unfamiliar faces in that room, but no Meredith.

'' Dr. Shepherd, Meredith asked to be paged when you do your round here. Could you page her and wait for a sec ? '' Kate asked.

'' Sure thing, mrs. Todd, '' Derek replied and paged Meredith.

15 minutes later...

Meredith wasn't still in Kate's room and Derek was wondering where she was so long.

'' Do you know where dr. Grey went ? '' Derek asked.

'' I sent her watch the other terrorist Shahim, '' Gibbs said.

'' Terrorists ? There are terrorists in this hospital ? '' Derek asked surprised and also scared.

'' Yeah. 2 of them, Ari Haswari and Shahim Yassin. We tired to keep them from killing more people, but some damn doctors had to save them, '' Gibbs said in anger.

'' Sorry sir, but I was doing just my job. Is it possible that one the other terrorist Shahim... whatever could hold her hostage ? '' Derek asked.

'' I don't know. I know nothing about that bastard. He is Ari's right hand, and Ari runs Al Qaeda DC department. I have been catching him for a long time now. And since Kate was here and Ari has something for her, so we took a chance, flew here and surprise – Ari is here too, with a buddy. There was shooting, and we did good, until those ambulances came and we had to hide, '' Gibbs said.

'' Okay, I'm gonna check if I find Meredith in that terrorist's room or anywhere, you stay here, I will be right back, '' Derek said.

'' DiNozzo, let's go. McGee stay, '' Gibbs said and followed Derek with Tony.

They stepped out of Kate's room, when they heard Chief voice in speakers.

'' Attention !! We have escaped terrorist is this hospital. Everybody evacuate from the building until he is found. If anyone has seen this man, then contact me via pager, and let me know. Shahim if you hear me, then please give yourself up, because we will catch you anyway, '' Chief said.

'' Meredith, '' Derek almost whispered.

Derek dropped the charts he had been holding and ran to the terrorist's room with Tony and Gibbs. Two NCIS agents had their guns in their hands and that scared even more people running out of the building.

They finally reached Shahim's room. Tony looked into the room, nod and they entered the room. It was empty – no Shahim, no Meredith... nothing.

'' Ari's, '' Tony and Gibbs said in chorus.

'' Follow me, '' Derek said.

They started running again this time to Ari's room. They arrived there and saw that the blinds were on. Gibbs tried the door – locked.

'' Anyone comes in or makes attempt, she is dead, '' Shahim said from inside.

'' Okay, we are not coming in. But I need proof that doc is with you and still alive, '' Gibbs said.

'' I am still alive, '' Meredith said weakly.

'' You got your proof, now I want you to do as I say, '' Shahim said.

'' Anything, '' Derek said.

'' Who is this ? '' Shahim asked.

'' I am the head of neurosurgery in this hospital. My name is Derek Shepherd and I performed Ari's surgery, '' Derek said.

'' When is he going to wake up ? '' Shahim asked.

'' Depends on his situation, but I can't see his monitors. If he is stable in night, then he should wake up in morning, '' Derek said.

'' Bitch, talk to him, about this medical stuff. And one rule, anyone tries to trick me or anything, I will shoot her, '' Shahim said.

'' He is stable Derek. He should wake up next morning, but I need medicine for him, the usual stuff. Where are these ? '' Meredith asked.

'' I haven't gotten those yet, I was about to bring them now, '' Derek said.

'' Okay, now NCIS leaves the site, only doc is there, or the girl dies, '' Shahim said.

'' We are leaving, '' Gibbs said and left with Tony. They though stayed on the same floor, near elevators out of sight.

***

1 hour later...

Outside the hospital, was the place where all doctors were evacuated. Cristina was looking for Meredith there, Alex, Izzie, George, Lexie, Owen, Callie, Arizona, Addison and Mark were in one group discussing the events.

'' This is Seattle, the safest town of all, and now this happens, '' Alex said.

'' Has anyone seen Derek in here ? '' Mark asked looking around.

'' No, '' was mumbled reply from everybody.

'' And Meredith is missing too... '' Lexie said.

'' I guess someone have a secret on-call room meeting and didn't hear the evacuating order, ''Alex smirked.

'' Alex, shut up, this is serious, '' Izzie said.

'' Yeah... They might have another baby, '' Mark continued.

'' Mark !! '' everybody shouted.

'' What ? I am just joking. I know Meredith, she is not that stupid, '' Mark said.

'' You're right. Maybe she was kidnapped by terrorist... '' Izzie said.

'' You are right Izzie, maybe she was... '' Cristina said as she arrived.

Chief was doing the check up on doctors and patients and he arrived to that group.

'' Okay.. Sloan, Montgomery, Hunt, Torres, Robbins, Yang, Karev, Stevens, O'Malley, Lexie Grey... '' Chief said as he was checking his personal.

'' Everybody is here, '' Alex said.

'' Do you know where Meredith and Derek are ? '' Chief asked.

'' Not here, '' George said.

'' But where the hell they are ? '' Chief raised his voice.

'' We don't know. They aren't here, that's all we know, '' Alex said.

'' Did you page them ? '' Chief asked.

'' Meredith is not answering, '' Cristina said.

'' Derek isn't either, '' Mark added.

'' Does anyone know where Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd are ? '' Chief yelled over the parking lot.

'' She was going to check the escaped terrorist and I saw Shepherd running with 2 men with guns to that room too. He went there after the evacuating order, '' nurse Tyler said.

'' Thanks. Has anyone seen them after that ? '' Chief asked.

Muffled no came from the lot.

'' Great, '' Chief said.

Chief was looking around and thinking what to do, when a male and female came to him.

'' Excuse us sir, but we could help, '' male said.

'' What ? '' Chief asked.

'' Special agent Timothy McGee, NCIS, '' Tim said, and showed his badge.

'' Special agent Caitlyn Todd, NCIS. I don't have my badge, it is in my room, I am a patient here, '' Kate said.

'' And what can you do ? '' Chief asked.

'' It is our fault that this went out of control and since we are trained agents we could help to clean up this mess, '' Kate said.

'' Do what you have to do, to get my doctors back, '' Chief said.

Kate and Tony nod, McGee gave her his back-up gun and they entered the building. Just after they entered the front door they heard a gunshot and a woman scream.

'' Meredith... '' Kate almost whispered and they ran in the direction, where they heard the shot coming from.

They arrived at Ari's door, Derek was lying on floor unconscious. Kate looked horrified, McGee checked the door – it was unlocked. Kate nod and they opened the door, with guns in their hands.

'' Oh my... '' Kate gasped when she saw, what was inside that room.

McGee looked surprised, but scared and confused at the same time.

'' What the hell happened in here ? '' Kate asked.

'' Turn around and you will know. I guess we all go crazy sometimes, specially when our rules are not followed, '' she heard a male voice behind her, and she recognized the voice, it was...

***

_There should be a rule about getting into a mess. There should be a many rules about that and also falling in love. There should be rules about words we say, people we say those to, there should be rules about breaking rules, what to break what not. There should be rules about everything, and the most important ones should be the ones that make difference between right and wrong. There should be rules about getting ourselves in wrong places, what to do when a friend is lost, when you are worried... There should be those rules, so we can avoid chaos, but since there are not.... Chaos appears._


	20. Stay to things you know

_They arrived at Ari's door, Derek was lying on floor unconscious. Kate looked horrified, McGee checked the door – it was unlocked. Kate nod and they opened the door, with guns in their hands._

_'' Oh my... '' Kate gasped when she saw, what was inside that room._

_McGee looked surprised, but scared and confused at the same time. _

_'' What the hell happened in here ? '' Kate asked._

_'' Turn around and you will know. I guess we all go crazy sometimes, specially when our rules are not followed, '' she heard a male voice behind her, and she recognized the voice, it was... _

1 hour earlier...

Derek was back with medicine for Ari. He saw that Gibbs and Tony were still around the corner waiting and ready to shoot.

'' Mere, I have what you need, '' Derek said from behind the door.

'' I open the door, if you try anything the girl will die, '' Shahim said from inside.

'' I got it, '' Derek said.

The door opened, Derek put the things inside. He saw that Meredith was sitting in corner of room and she had blood on her face. He looked her for a moment and then closed the door on his way out. When he came out Gibbs glared at him, Derek nod, so they know Meredith really is okay.

Inside the room...

Meredith took the things Derek put inside and she did her job. She treated Ari and his signs were getting better all the time. After giving him medicine, Meredith sat down on the chair as before. Shahim was there with a gun pointed at her.

'' How does a girl like you become a surgeon ? '' Shahim asked.

'' Following mother's footsteps. How does a guy like you become a murderer ? '' Meredith asked.

'' I ask questions here, '' Shahim yelled at her.

'' Sorry, '' Meredith said.

'' Well, I can stay here all night, but when he doesn't wake up soon, then this is your life that goes, '' Shahim warned.

'' Yeah, I got that you want to put your mistakes on other people. Or this time it is actually his mistakes, '' Meredith said sarcastically.

'' Shut up bitch. You don't talk like that about Ari. He is a good man, he is my friend and he does what has to be done, don't ever say anything like that about him again, or you will be dead, '' Shahim said. He was getting nervous, and anxious at the same time.

'' Well, you can't put his condition on me or any doctor at all. Well, actually you can, if this is keeping him alive and using a lot of effort. Dr. Shepherd did beautiful job with him and if he dies then it is his fault, because surgery was successful. This was in our hands, but now it is not, it is up to him now, '' Meredith said.

'' You are lying, so I would break, but I won't. I don't believe you. It's just a lie. Ari is my brother, I am not letting him die. If he does, then you are responsible, because doctors should do this kind of things, '' Shahim said.

'' We do what we can, but we can't do anything. I am not god, none of us is, '' Meredith said.

'' Shut up bitch ! '' Shahim yelled and hit her.

Meredith fell down from chair and stayed there. Shahim started pacing. He was walking and mumbling something, but in Arabic. Meredith stayed down and looked her closely.

Gibbs and Tony watched as Derek gave the medicine and then he sat on floor in case they need him. He tried to listen what happened inside, but he only got pieces.

'' Tony, cover this, I will go, and I have a thing to take care of, '' Gibbs said.

'' Where are you going boss ? '' Tony asked.

'' I am going to do my job. You keep an eye on that lover boy and his girl, if anything happens call me, '' Gibbs said.

'' He is not a lover boy. He is not together with her, they are not a couple according to Kate, '' Tony said.

'' You know nothing. If it wasn't love, then he would be somewhere outside safe, but he stayed here and he is still waiting for her girl. It's love, I know it, I have been married 3 times, '' Gibbs said.

'' But you divorced... '' Tony wondered.

'' It doesn't matter. My point is that keep an eye on him, let me know if anything happens and he is in love. I never said together, I said in love. People can be in love without being together like you and Kate, '' Gibbs said and smiled.

'' How long ? '' Tony asked and he was surprised... Gibbs knew.

'' Since it started. I'm gonna go now, '' Gibbs said and walked away.

'' Wow... '' Tony whispered. His well kept secret is not that secret after all... His boss knows.

Meredith was still sitting of floor, while Shahim paced. She looked at monitors, Ari's heart was racing, and blood pressure was high. Meredith started doing her thing to save him. Shahim was on the side and even more freaking out. When she realized that Ari was gone there was a shot.

Derek was sitting on floor. He was thinking of Meredith – what was he going to do with her. He was thinking of their relationship and all times they were together. All the bad and good times. There was time when he was married, and when she was dating Finn and Rose time and of course time, when she knew nothing about him and they were happily together... Before Addison showed. And of course all the times they were together, when he was allowed to kiss her all the time. He was pulled from his thoughts by a gunshot. He saw Tony rushing to him. Derek got up instant and he was standing behind the door. He wanted to open it, but Tony was there and stopped him.

'' Stay here, I will go in, '' Tony said and pushed Derek back.

Tony entered the room. He saw a bullet on Ari and monitors beeping for no heart beat, Meredith lying on corner with hit on head, so she was bleeding. Tony rushed to her, but before he checked her vitals or anything he was hit on the back of the head too. He fell on ground, next to Meredith. Next thing Shahim did was leaving the room. He also hit Derek, so he was bleeding outside the room. He closed the room and ran to next room. There he had a visual of what's happening in that room, but he didn't care anymore – someone shot Ari and that someone will pay. He glared at Derek and felt rush to shoot a bullet into his head, but he didn't do that.

Gibbs ran to Kate's room, where his things were. In his bag was a sniper gun, the one he used to use in war. He grabbed it and ran out of hospital. He used the backdoor, so he was unseen and he ran to another building's roof. He had a good look at the room, where Ari and Shahim were and that hostage doctor too. He took position on roof. He aimed for awhile, and then he got a good position, so the bullet would go through the open window. He was about to shoot, when Shahim started making circles and he would have to be accurate. There was no sign of Meredith though.

'' Come on Shahim, '' Gibbs said, when he didn't have a good chance to shoot.

But Shahim kept on pacing. Then something must have happened in that room, but Meredith was up, and she was playing doctor on Ari, Shahim was standing across the bed. Perfect chance for Gibbs. He took a shot, but just like Shahim had known it, he moved away, so bullet went through Ari's skull. He was finally dead, but it wasn't good enough for Gibbs.

'' God damn it, '' Gibbs swore, when he missed.

What happened next was fast. Gibbs saw Shahim hitting Meredith first – she fell on ground. Then someone entered the room, but Gibbs couldn't make out who it was. Shahim hit that person too and he fell on ground too. Shahim rushed out of the room and then Gibbs lost him.

There was a quiet in awhile, but then Kate and Tim rushed into the room. They arrived at Ari's door, Derek was lying on floor unconscious. Kate looked horrified, McGee checked the door – it was unlocked. Kate nod and they opened the door, with guns in their hands.

'' Oh my... '' Kate gasped when she saw, what was inside that room.

McGee looked surprised, but scared and confused at the same time.

'' What the hell happened in here ? '' Kate asked.

'' Turn around and you will know. I guess we all go crazy sometimes, specially when our rules are not followed, '' she heard a male voice behind her, and she recognized the voice, it was Shahim.

'' Shahim... '' Kate whispered.

'' You should have killed me, while you had a chance, because now my friend is killed and you will pay for it. Say goodbye to life, Caitlin, '' Shahim said.

Next things happened really quick. There were multiple gun shots and Shahim fell lifeless on floor. Kate looked and saw her boss there. Tim was in Ari's room, where Tony and Kate were lying.

'' Boss, I think something is wrong with the girl here ? '' Tim said.

'' Meredith ? '' Kate asked.

'' Come here, I am not pretty sure and I don't have a medical grade, '' Tim said.

'' Okay, McGee go out and say that it is over, and something is wrong with their dr. Grey, '' Gibbs said and followed Kate to Meredith and Tony.

'' It's bad... '' Kate said.

Gibbs nod.

_Don't get yourself into a game you know nothing about. Stay away and that's all I have to say this time. Stick to cooking or shooting people, and don't start cutting people open in the mean time... Stick to things you know, because it will end badly... For everyone._

**And please leave me a review... It is not that hard... Oh, and without 5 reiews I don't start writing a new chapter.**


	21. I love you

**I do have a things to say this time. First thank you from positive review :) . It really makes my day. Now, to someone named '' dream on '' - I said it's gonna be MerDer story, so it will be. I am keeping my words btw. I get that you want to review, but haven't read the story, because Derek really loves Meredith, and I am not keeping it secret. I apologize for my grammar. I am not speaking English as first language, I have been studying it in school and of course my English is not great, but if you could form a sentence in Estonia I would be impressed. Estonian is my first language and I am fluent there. And there is one more thing about this version... It only excist in my head, that's why it is fiction. I haven't seen the last epi yet, because I have been busy with this story, but I have seen the rest epis. I do like MerDer, but this is fiction and I thought it is okay to write a little different than actual show. Oh, one more thing - don't never ever say anything bad about readers of this story, if they like then they like, if you don't... Then you don't. Everybody don't have to like the same things. And to another reviewer '' MD '', yeah they , including me, are studying English in my country. I think my English is better than your Estonian, and I apologize once more. I know I am not great in English, but I manage somehow. You and everybody else are welcomed to pick out my mistakes and say how it is supposed to be. I am not feeling offended if you do so. I know it is not perfect English and sorry if it is hard to understand.**

**I feel much better now :) . Hope you feel better too. I just said that my English is not great. **

It was minutes later, when surgical brigade arrived in room, where Meredith and Tony were. When they arrived, they saw first Derek unconscious outside the door, a dead body of terrorist and signs of fight. After entering the room, there was a terrorist on bed with a gunshot in his forehead, then in corner Meredith and Tony lying – both unconscious.

'' What the hell happened here ? '' Cristina asked.

'' I don't know. Shahim knows, but he is dead, your doc Shepherd is outside, he might know, but he is not talking and doc Grey knows too, but she is not in good shape too, '' Gibbs said.

Chief, Bailey, Izzie, Alex, George, Cristina, Mark and Addie had rushed there. They all stood there frozen for awhile.

'' Mere has been bleeding, pretty bad... All floor is bloody, almost. And so is Tony, but I have a feeling, that something is not right with her, '' Kate said.

'' Karev, get a gurney. Addie check Meredith, Mark help Derek, Stevens go with Mark, Bailey take care of special agent DiNozzo, Yang with dr. Bailey. O'Malley take care of agents Gibbs and Todd, '' Chief gave orders.

Everybody nod and they got their assignments. Addie went to Meredith and saw that she really has been bleeding pretty bad. She had one bleeder in right side of her abdomen, then a bruise in her forehead and couple of bruises more. Alex got back with gurney, he lifted Meredith there and they went to gynecology floor, to check Meredith and her baby.

Bailey was working with Tony. He had a cut in the back of his head. She usually would give this thing to Shepherd, but in this situation she had to play neuro god. Cristina was helping her. They got Tony on gurney with a little help and then they left. Tony needed CT and maybe MRI, depends on what comes. Bailey promised to keep in let others know about Tony, when she knows something more.

Mark went to Derek, Izzie with him. He saw that Derek was unconscious due to a hit to his head. He also had a little bleeder in his hairline, but it was minor. His condition should be stable, when he wakes up, and it should be soon, but just in case Mark arranged a gurney and sent Izzie to get his CT and MRI done.

George got the easiest assignment in some way, but other way the hardest. Gibbs had a small cut on his right hand, but he was terminated to see Tony and Meredith, to see what happened with them. So George had to clean his cut, while Gibbs tried to get away. For George's luck, Kate was there to keep him from going anywhere. It was a huge relief for George, because Chief would be mad if Gibbs goes away without enough medical attention. After Gibbs George looked at Kate, she had only a couple of bruises. He cleaned them and she was ready to go too.

All the time Chief was running back and forth to make sure everything is taken care of.

'' How is she ? '' he asked, when Addie and Alex were leaving with Meredith.

'' Not in good shape, she has lost a lot of blood, but she'll be okay, I hope. I am taking her up, so I can see if baby is okay. I'll page you if I know more, '' Addie said.

'' You'll do it, '' Chief said and nod.

Addie ran after Alex and Meredith, since he kept on moving with Meredith.

Next one Chief saw, was Bailey with Tony and Cristina was with them too.

'' How is he ? '' Chief asked.

'' He has a bruise in the back of his head. I'm taking him to CT, then I know more. He has a small bruise on his arm from falling. I'll let you know, '' Bailey said.

Chief nod and moved on. He saw Mark looking at Derek and ordering Izzie to get a gurney. When Izzie was away, Chief went there.

'' How is he ? '' Chief asked.

'' He has been hit and hopefully he has no damage, beside this unconscious thing. He should wake up soon. Just in case, I'll send Stevens to CT with him. But he is fine, '' Mark said.

'' Good. This is really crazy, what is happening here, '' Chief said.

'' Yeah. It is. Meredith and Derek are both wounded and one of their agents is not in good shape too. And this terrorist thing, this is Seattle, everything should be calm in here, '' Mark said.

'' It should be, but it's not, '' Chief said.

'' Yeah. I'm gonna see if George needs a plastic surgeon, '' Mark said and left.

When Mark went to help George, he had finished with Gibbs already, but Kate was still there. The agent, who called them – Tim, was there too, chatting with Kate.

'' O'Mally do you need help ? '' Mark asked and smiled to Kate.

'' There is a bruise on her cheek, you might wanna check it, '' George said.

'' Yeah. I do, '' Mark said and kept smiling at Kate.

'' I'm gonna see Tony, '' Tim said and left. Mark sat next to Kate and looked at her cheek.

'' I am Mark Sloan. I believe we haven't officially met, '' Mark said.

'' Caitlin Todd, but everybody calls me Kate, '' Kate said.

'' You can call me Mark, '' Mark said.

'' Good, Mark, '' Kate said.

'' Do you wanna have some drinks after this ? '' Mark asked.

'' Are you asking me out ? '' Kate said and smiled.

'' Yeah, I am. I know a good bar just across the street, '' Mark said.

'' I don't know. I'll think about it. Maybe if everybody are okay and I am going there with friends, you can come too, '' Kate smirked.

'' I hold on to this, '' Mark said.

'' This is all you have to do, '' Kate said.

Mark gave her McSteamy face, but it didn't work with her, at least it seemed like that. After awhile George left – he was done with his job.

'' I'm done here, you can go now, '' Mark said in after some time.

'' Good. Do you know where they took Tony and Meredith ? I wanna see them, '' Kate said.

'' I think Mer is upstairs in gynecolog and Tony should be down in CT, '' Mark said.

'' I wanna see Meredith first, '' Kate said.

'' I'll show you the way, '' Mark said.

Gibbs was with Cristina waiting for CT result of Tony.

'' Why it is taking so long ? '' Gibbs asked.

'' Because it takes time, '' Cristina said sarcastically.

'' Make it work faster, '' Gibbs demanded.

'' Things don't go like this. I can call someone to escort you out if you are not happy. This is not place, where patient's fathers are. This is place for doctors, '' Cristina said.

'' I am not his father, '' Gibbs said.

'' Mentor, whatever. My point is calm down and shut up, '' Cristina said to him harshly.

Gibbs stared her, but sat down and stayed calm. Soon the picture came up.

'' How he is ? '' Gibbs asked. This time worried.

'' He is good. He has trauma, but his scans are clear. I'll take him to his room now, '' Cristina said.

Gibbs breathed deeply from relief. Tony was okay.

Mark and Kate arrived to Tony's room, when Cristina was done giving him necessary medicine and things. Gibbs was sitting on chair, Tim was outside the room talking on phone. Kate ran to his bedside.

'' Yang, how is he ? '' Mark asked.

'' Fine. No damage was made, he should wake up soon. I gave him medicine to fasten this process, '' Cristina said.

'' Good, '' Mark said.

'' Do you know anything about Meredith ? '' she asked Mark.

'' No, I was thinking of visiting her now, '' Mark said.

'' Good. Let's go, '' Cristina said.

'' Gibbs, call me if he wakes up. I'll go see Meredith too, '' Kate said.

Gibbs nod and Kate left the room, and ran after Mark and Cristina.

In Meredith's room.

Addie sutured her cut in abdomen, Alex started IV and then got ultrasound machine. He examined her abdomen for awhile.

'' Something wrong ? '' Addie asked, when she noticed that.

'' No, baby is alright. It just... I have done her ultrasound before. It is like deja-vu. Then of course the baby was smaller, she was only 5 weeks then, '' Alex said.

'' I thought no-one know about it, when she was 5 weeks ? '' Addie asked and she was confused.

'' Oh crap. Forget what I told, you're not supposed to know it. It is not this time, '' Alex said.

'' What ? She has been pregnant before ? '' Addie asked.

'' I guess you are her doctor and have to know, but no chart and no telling Derek or anyone else, '' Alex said.

'' Whatever. Tell me, I have to know as her doctor. There is patient-doctor thing, '' Addie said.

'' Fine. She was pregnant before. It was when that ferry boat accident was, she lost baby. She had ultrasound a couple of days before it, I took it. She was 5 weeks. She doesn't want people to know, I don't know if Cristina knows, but if she does, then you are 4th person to know. And please keep your mouth, '' Alex said.

'' What ? How was she taking the news ? '' Addison said.

'' She broke up with Derek... Sort of. That's how, '' Alex said.

'' It must be hard for her, '' Addison said.

'' Yeah. But now shut up. We are not talking about it again and you are not telling Meredith you know, '' Alex ordered.

'' Sure, '' Addison said.

'' She has lost blood, I have 2 bags, do you think I need more ? '' Alex asked.

'' No, I think you don't. When you need, you can get them later too, '' Addie said.

'' Yeah, '' Alex agreed.

Izzie was out of CT with Derek. He was okay. She was taking him to patient's room, when he opened his eyes.

'' What happened ? '' Derek asked.

'' You're awake, '' Izzie said and stopped moving.

'' Where is Meredith ? I was outside the room, then I heard a gunshot, I wanted to go in, but the man came out of room before and he hit me... How is Meredith ? '' Derek asked. He was confused, worried and anxious at the same time.

'' Meredith is with Addie upstairs, I don't know how she is, '' Izzie said.

'' I have to see her. I love her, I always have, but I just don't know how to show it at some time. I don't want her to move on, I want to tell her and I want to be there all the time. I have to make it right, '' Derek said.

'' Well, it took you time to realize, '' Izzie said.

'' I know. I think I didn't make difference between love and liking, when I was with Rose. I wanna tell her that. She is m oxygen, I need her in my life, '' Derek said.

'' Then let's go. I wanna see her too, '' Izzie said and they went to Meredith's room.

Addie and Alex were watching Meredith. She still hadn't woke up. Addie paged Mark to suture her, so she won't have scars. And so they were waiting.

'' Do you think she'll be okay ? '' Addie asked.

'' Yeah, '' Alex said.

'' Yeah. I hope so too, '' Addie said.

The door opened. Kate, Mark and Cristina stepped in.

'' How is she ? '' Cristina asked.

'' She has lost a lot of blood, she has a couple of bruises and cuts that Mark has to work with. Baby is okay. She hasn't woke up yet, we are waiting, you can join us, '' Addie said.

Mark looked at her and started doing her work, to make her look pretty after this too. Kate and Cristina fell on chairs and started waiting.

After 15 minutes the door opened again, it was George.

'' Any change ? '' he asked.

'' No. You can wait with us, '' Kate said.

'' Okay, '' George replied and sat on chair next to Cristina.

About 10 minutes later...

Mark was finishing her sutures. He suddenly felt a movement Meredith was doing.

'' Don't move, I am working, '' he said automatically.

'' Meredith moved ? '' Cristina asked.

'' She did ? '' Mark asked, then he realized. '' Yes, she moved a little, '' Mark said.

'' Meredith... '' Cristina said and went to her bedside. She took her hand.

Meredith slowly opened her eyes. Everybody gathered around her bed and they were happy.

'' What happened ? '' Meredith asked.

'' You were kidnapped in a way. You have bruises and cuts all over you, but Mark is working with you. You also lost a lot of blood. Your baby is okay. Stay calm, '' Addie said.

'' Derek ? '' Meredith asked.

'' He should be fine, I can find him, if you want to, '' Alex offered.

'' No, '' Meredith said.

'' I was scared Mer, '' Cristina said.

'' You can't scare us like that ever again, '' George said.

'' I'll try, '' Meredith said and smiled.

The door opened again and everybody turned to see Derek standing there and Izzie after him.

'' Meredith... Are you okay ? '' Derek asked and he was worried.

'' I am. And so is the girl, '' Meredith said.

'' I have to talk with you, '' Derek said.

'' Okay, '' Meredith said.

'' Can you leave us alone for a sec ? '' Derek asked.

Everybody nod and left the room.

Derek sat by her bedside. He took her hand to his.

'' Meredith. I am so sorry I have been such an ass. I guess I didn't make difference between love and idea of something. I am sorry I have hurt you, but when you where in that room and I heard a gunshot, I was so scared. I was scared to lose you and I realized that I wanna be with you and no-one else. Everything I want is here with you. I love you Meredith Grey, '' Derek said.

'' Derek... '' Meredith started.

_It is important to tell people who you love how much you love them all the time. You have to repeat it so many times as you can. Till the day you die. And you can't wait with this thing, because it might be too late, when you wake up in one morning and realize that you should tell your loved one the truth. People are not meant to be stuck and all the time waiting in one place, they are made to move on. But the question is, when it is the right time ? And when it is too late ? Or too early ? Is there a right time to tell someone '' I love you '' ?_

**Let me know what you think of this chapter. Sorry for me taking so long, I have been really busy lately and I don't know when I have time to write another chapter. I gotta go to hospital now, chiao !!**

**Liina  
**


	22. You didn't lose me, you let me go

**First to fanofthefab4 - this is called fiction for a reason. I am not trashing their characters. I am just using the other side of them. And for the record I don't like Rose, I just needed the bad character and I like Addy too much for that. So it was Rose, but I don't like her and I don't like her with Derek either. If you don't like the plot or the idea, the story - no-one is forcing you to read it... Well, at least I am not. Please don't read, I am fine with it. And true MerDer fans... I don't know where the line goes... Just because I write them separated and a different way back together, then.. I am not MerDer fan ? Maybe you can define the meaning... Does it mean MerDer is always happy like in fairy tale and no troubles or are they allowed to have troubles in story written by true MerDer fan ? I need a little help there :D .  
**

**Now, to everybody... I don't hate Meredith, she is my fav character and I truly apologize for making you hate her as one person told me. I am sorry and it was not meant to be like that. You should like Meredith, okay ? :) .**

**And now I am saying thanks to everybody who have stayed with me and are still reviewing this story. I really do like it, thanks... So a chap of MerDer or something close to that to you.. Please just keep reviewing :) .**

**Liina**

'' Derek... '' Meredith said again and looked in his eyes. Those that she has always loved – blue, deep and beautiful.

'' Meredith, please give me another chance. I know that I don't deserve it, but I am pleading you. You are out of second chances, but I will be waiting for you. Maybe I wasn't certain before, but I am now. I love you and I always will. I don't know what I was thinking, when I let you go. I do love you babe and no matter what you decide, I will be faithful to you from now on. I don't want anyone else but you on my side. I need you like air, '' Derek said. He was also looking into Meredith's eyes. Those greenish gray eyes are the ones that take his breath away every time. When he looks into those, he sees his future – wife and kids.

'' Derek, it's not that I don't love you, because I do. I think you know that. I am just scared. I can't give you another chance, because I don't wanna get hurt again and seems like it is your hobby. I am not made for ripping apart and then putting back together like a puzzle. This is not how it is meant to be. I don't want man to leave me for a nurse or anyone. I don't want my boyfriend to get jealous of my friends, I can't deal with this. And I can't trust you Derek Shepherd, '' Meredith said and looked away.

'' I know. I have disappointed you so many different ways. I have hurt you everywhere. I have made a lot of mistakes, but I know letting you go would be the greatest in my life, so I can't stop fighting for you. I told you you are my air, my heaven, '' Derek said.

'' If we try again, then one of us will get hurt. Someone always does and I don't want to be that girl anymore. I don't wanna go to Joe's every night and drink tequila and let some man take me home to get laid. I don't want to be that girl anymore, I wanna be a grown-up. Beside I am going to be a mother and I am so not ready. I can't.. I just... can't, '' Meredith said.

'' Meredith please. I wanna be there for you. I wanna be the man you spend your night with. The one, who knows you; the one you tell your secrets and the shoulder you cry on. I didn't think of that much before, but since I found out that you are pregnant... changing diapers and waking up in the middle of the night is all I can think about. I want a family – a gorgeous wife and beautiful children, that's all I want. All I keep thinking about for a last couple of months. Meredith, please. I am really begging you now, '' Derek said, but stopped, when saw Meredith moving her hand to her belly and the change in her expression.

'' What's wrong Meredith ? Is the baby hurting you ? Should I call Addie ? '' Derek was worried instant.

'' No, Derek. It's okay, it just... she moved, I haven't noticed that before. That she had moved, you can feel it too, '' Meredith said.

She took his hand and put it to her belly so he could feel the girl moving inside.

'' It's amazing feeling. It's like... it makes the baby so real, so close... so mine... '' Derek said.

'' It is yours Derek, I can't change that, '' she said and smiled.

'' Yeah. Otherwise you would have changed that, '' Derek said.

'' Yeah, I think so, '' Meredith said and smiled again.

Derek gave her the best McDreamy smile he could do.

'' Stop it, I don't need your McDreamy smile, not now, please, '' Meredith said.

'' What if I can't help myself ? '' Derek said and kept smiling.

'' Then please, for me and our girl, '' Meredith said and had her puppy eyes.

'' The girl ? You mean, we are having a cute baby like you ? '' Derek asked.

'' Yeah, it's a girl. Didn't I tell you ? '' Meredith asked.

'' No, I was too busy fooling around. I can't wait to see a little Meredith running around the house, '' Derek said.

'' Oh, I so hope she is not like me, '' Meredith said.

'' Why then ? '' Derek asked and smiled.

'' Because her teenage years would kill us. I still can't believe my mother made it through these years. I was not the easiest girl to manage. I was rebel and I really hope she doesn't have my personality from that time, '' Meredith said.

'' You said we ? But you don't want me by your side ? '' Derek asked.

'' I have to see you every day here, because I am not planning on moving and I think every child should have a chance to get to know her father. I don't want her to grow without father like I did. Just because you are not sleeping in same bed with me doesn't mean that you are not her father. And she is and will always be our little girl, '' Meredith said.

'' Good. That means I still have a part in your life, '' Derek said.

'' Derek. You are my co-worker, my boss, my teacher, my friend and since we are having a baby together, I don't think it is not possible to throw you away, '' Meredith said sarcastically.

'' Oh, it is good to know it now. I figured you can ignore me pretty well, '' Derek said.

'' Stop it Derek. You will always be there, if you want of course, '' Meredith said.

'' I wouldn't miss it for the world, '' Derek said and smiled.

Meredith yawned.

'' You should sleep, you are tired and lost a lot of blood, '' Derek said.

'' Yeah, I think I should. You can stay if you want, it wasn't so long time ago, when you watched me sleep, '' Meredith smiled.

'' Yeah. I remember that. I remember a lot of things in your bed. A different kind of activity then, '' Derek smiled.

'' Oh, that sex talk ends now. We are not discussing it now. Shut it or go out, '' Meredith said.

'' Shutting up you highness, '' Derek smiled.

'' Shut up, '' Meredith said.

'' Okay, just one more thing. You don't give me another chance to be by your side ? '' Derek asked.

'' No. I am not giving you another chance, not now, not yet. I don't know when I am finally so healthy that I can let you broke me again, '' Meredith said.

'' I am not going to broke you again, '' Derek said.

'' But how can I be so sure ? '' Meredith asked a little angry.

'' Because you have to trust me. You have to trust people, '' Derek said.

'' Yeah. I know that. I trust people, I trusted you, but you broke my trust, '' Meredith said and her voice raised.

'' And you are telling me that other people haven't hurt you ? '' Derek asked.

'' No, not like that, only little things, that don't matter, '' Meredith said.

'' And who are those people you trust ? '' Derek asked eager for answer.

'' Cristina, Izzie, George, Alex, Lexie and Addie for instant, '' Meredith said.

'' You trust Alex over me ? '' Derek asked surprised.

'' Yeah. Actually there are a couple of things Alex knows about me and you don't. I trust him, '' Meredith said.

'' Do you want to tell me those things ? I used to be your boyfriend after all, '' Derek asked.

'' No, it doesn't matter anymore, it was past and I am trying to forget it, '' Meredith said.

'' You know that you can tell me anything, '' Derek assured her.

'' Yeah. I do. I just... don't want to, can't... there are many reasons, '' Meredith said.

'' Okay for now. But I want to hear those things later, '' Derek said.

'' You don't have the right to ask those things anymore, beside I want to sleep, '' Meredith said.

'' Yeah, you should. I stay here, '' Derek said.

He kept looking her as she moved herself and was ready to fall asleep. Meredith noticed him looking her all the time.

'' What are you looking at ? '' Meredith asked.

'' You, '' Derek answered.

'' Why are you looking at me ? '' Meredith asked again.

'' Is it forbidden to look beauty ? '' Derek asked and smiled.

'' I am not beautiful now, I am like a whale. I am big fat whale, '' Meredith said.

'' You are beautiful and pregnant. Pregnancy fits you by the way, '' Derek said.

'' You are not doing this, '' Meredith said.

'' What ? '' Derek asked.

'' Stop flirting, '' Meredith ordered.

'' What if I can't ? '' Derek asked.

'' You have to, '' Meredith said.

'' I'll try, '' Derek said and smiled.

He was shut from now on, but Meredith didn't fall asleep. She kept turning around in bed, trying to find a right position for sleeping.

'' Is something wrong ? '' Derek asked after 15 minutes.

'' The girl won't stay calm so I can sleep. She keeps on moving and kicking, '' Meredith said.

Derek was back on his bedside, where he left after Meredith decided to go to sleep. He put his hand on her belly.

'' Is she hurting you ? '' Derek asked and he was worried.

'' No, not hurting. It is just weird, '' Meredith said.

'' Good. I thought she was causing you pain, '' Derek said.

'' No, she is that good girl, '' Meredith said.

'' She is our baby, that's why. I wouldn't let her hurt her mommy, no way, '' Derek said.

'' I doubt that, '' Meredith mumbled.

'' Yeah. Your mommy thinks that I am not good for her, but this time she is wrong. I have changed. Daddy promises you that little one. And daddy promises that he will be around or doing his best to be always there, '' Derek talked to Meredith's belly.

They both felt the girl getting more calm while Derek was talking to her. Soon Meredith saw that Derek had stopped talking with the baby.

'' What's wrong ? '' Meredith asked.

Derek looked up and she could see sadness in his eyes.

'' I just realized that I might have lost you forever, '' Derek said.

'' No, you didn't lose me. You never lost me, you let me go, when I needed you really much, '' Meredith said.

'' Are you saying that it's my fault ? '' Derek asked.

'' I might be saying. Wanna tell me it's a lie ? '' Meredith asked.

'' It is not. I am sorry for losing you, '' Derek said.

'' You didn't lose me, you let me go, '' Meredith said and turned back to Derek.

_There are two things about relationships. When it is good then everything is good, when it sucks, then the only thing that is still good is sex. But when relationship comes to an end, then is question: Whose fault is that ? The answer is both, there are always two sides in relationship and in separation. And question: Did I lose you or did I let you go ? Get's answer if you look deep inside. You have to choose and to choose you have to look deep inside you, so you can make the right conclusion. At least I think it's how it should be, because truth is out there. So ask yourself: Did I lose you or did I let you go ? And the answer... I didn't lose you, I let you go... That's the right one in many cases._

**And let me know what you think as usual. I really like to read reviews and the more I got, the faster I'll write the update :) . And if you have any suggestions in storyline or baby names, then let me know that too. I like to hear your opinion :) .**

**Liina  
**


	23. God, it's been too long

'' Meredith I am so sorry for that. I love you and I... I don't want to live without you, '' Derek said.

'' I know. I love you too, I tried not to, I tried to move forward, I tried to stay away from you, I tried to find someone else... I really did, but I guess you have some kind of magnet, that keeps pulling me back to you, '' Meredith said.

Derek looked into her eyes. He has always loved the look.

'' I promise not to leave you again, '' Derek said.

'' I know. You have a baby to take care of and a girlfriend to support, '' Meredith said and smiled.

'' You are giving me a chance ? '' Derek asked surprised and happy at the same time.

'' I might regret it, but yeah. We can have a one more round, for the baby, '' Meredith said.

'' Oh, Meredith thank you, thank you so much. I love you so much, '' Derek cheered and kissed her.

Meredith responded right away, it has a been a long time. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he held her waist. He pulled her closer to him and deepened the kiss. He was halfway lying on top of her, when she pulled away.

'' Did I hurt you ? '' Derek asked worried.

'' No, you didn't, '' Meredith replied.

'' Then why did you pull away ? Are you having second thoughts ? '' Derek asked again.

'' No, it's just. It makes us wanting more and more, but it hospital, we can't have sex here. And I don't want to go that far, '' Meredith said.

'' Sorry, I guess I didn't think of that, but I can wait, a kiss is more than enough, '' Derek said and smiled.

'' Well, in order to do something other, that I have in mind, Addie has to discharge me, so call others in and then I'll know when I can get home, '' Meredith said to Derek.

Derek smiled, kissed her once more, until she pushed her away.

'' Go, '' she almost whispered.

Derek gave a soft kiss on her lips once more and then walked out. A smile flashed on Meredith's lips – she was finally back together with her McDreamy.

A little time passed before Addie, Alex, George, Mark, Cristina, Izzie, Kate and Derek walked into the room.

'' Meredith, how are you feeling ? '' Addie asked.

'' A little weak maybe, but other, I'm fine, '' Meredith said.

'' Good. Derek said you wanted to get out, '' Addie said.

'' Yeah. I spend a lot of time in hospital already, '' Meredith smiled.

'' Way too much time, '' Cristina added.

'' Like Yang ever leaves the hospital, '' Alex smirked.

'' Hey, I am not pregnant, she is. For her the time she spends here is too much, '' Cristina defended herself.

'' Cristina is right. Mere really is here too much, '' Izzie said.

'' Okay, um, I need someone to stay with you in home, '' Addie said.

'' I have Derek, '' Meredith said.

Everybody looked at Derek.

'' What ? '' Derek asked.

Then everybody looked at Meredith.

'' Yeah, we made up, '' Meredith said.

'' It was about time, '' Alex said.

'' Alex ! '' Izzie, Lexie and Meredith shouted.

'' What ? He is right. It was really about time, since McDreamy fooled with that nurse and Meredith was getting on with McSteamy aka Manwhore and everything was not right. So it really is about time, '' Cristina said.

'' Thank you, '' Meredith said with sarcasm.

'' You're welcome, '' Cristina replied the same.

'' Okay, I'm sure you all have patients, at least I have. I have to check Meredith so, she can maybe go home, if she is stable, '' Addie said.

Everybody left beside Alex, Addie, Derek and Kate.

'' Derek go, you are a patient too, let Mark or someone check you, so you can go home too, '' Addie said.

Derek protested at first, but Addie was clear, so Derek kissed her cheek and left. After that Addie took her blood and did usual check up.

'' So tell me, how I am ? '' Meredith asked Addie.

'' You're good to go. But I need someone with you. Since you have lost a lot of blood and you are pregnant, there is a great risk of miscarriage. Beside the shock and danger and everything. And I want Derek to be there all the time, checking you. If you feel bad or nauseous then call me for sure, don't deny anything, okay ? '' Addie told to Meredith.

'' Yeah, I know. I am a surgeon, beside I have a brain surgeon with me, I guess he should have brains too, '' Meredith said.

'' I wouldn't be so sure, '' Addie laughed.

'' Yeah, you are right, for a brain surgeon he is really brainless, '' Meredith agreed and laughed.

'' Okay, take care. Kate is staying with you until Derek comes, because you need a wheelchair, '' Addie said and showed Alex to come with her. Since the danger was over, there are other patients too.

Kate stood up and came to her bedside.

'' You okay ? '' Kate asked.

'' Yeah, I think I am, '' Meredith replied.

'' So, you're back together with Derek ? '' Kate asked.

'' Yeah, I am. You know, I tried to move on, but I couldn't. I guess he is still the one, despite everything, '' Meredith said.

'' I know, but if he hurts you or anything, I can kill him and I know one of really few persons who can hide all forensic evidence. Let me know if you want help, '' Kate joked.

'' I don't think I need it. No matter what happens, he is still the father of my child. And I don't want her to grow up without a father, '' Meredith said.

'' I know, '' Kate said.

Then her phone rang, she talked awhile and then hung up.

'' I have to go, to give statement about this thing. They might need yours later, '' Kate said and left.

About 30 minutes later Derek came back to Meredith's room. She was awake and tired.

'' Hey, '' he said.

'' Hey, '' she replied.

'' I paged Addie, she has to sign your papers, '' Derek said.

'' Good. Beside I have to ask a couple of things anyway, '' Meredith said.

'' About what ? '' Derek was confused.

'' About me. You can stay if you want to, '' Meredith said.

Derek smiled and helped her to change back to street clothes.

Addie walked in.

'' You wanted to see me ? '' Addie asked.

'' Yeah, you need to sign some papers, '' Derek said.

'' Okay. Anything else, '' Addie asked.

'' Yeah. I have a couple of questions to you, '' Meredith said.

'' Okay. But Derek go out. I want to talk to you in private, '' Addie said.

Derek nod and left.

'' Addie, first I wanted to ask, if I can... I mean if I and Derek can... , '' Meredith started.

'' Yeah, but if you feel pain or anything unusual, then stop right away. I'm sure Derek get's it, '' Addie said.

'' Yeah, '' Meredith agreed.

'' Anything else you want to ask or tell me ? '' Addie asked.

'' I wouldn't mind making an appointment with you, '' Meredith said.

'' Sure that would be nice, but when it is time come to see me or I'll page you when I want to see you, '' Addie said simply.

'' Okay. The baby is okay, right ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Yeah. The risk is higher with first pregnancy or after miscarriage, I guess you are in risk group, but so far she is good. I do want to keep an eye on her though, after the stress, so I'll see you every week and even more often if you feel sick, '' Addie said.

'' Good. Thank you for everything Addie, '' Meredith said.

'' I'm just doing my job and no matter how hard I tried to hate you, I just couldn't, '' Addie said.

'' Sorry about that, '' Meredith said.

'' It's past. Go home with Derek now, '' Addie ordered and helped Meredith to wheelchair. She wheeled her out of the room, where Derek was waiting.

'' They're okay, right ? '' Derek asked Addie.

'' Yeah, they're good. Take care, '' Addie replied.

'' I will, '' Derek replied.

Derek and Meredith arrived to Meredith's house and discovered, that it was empty – everybody else were still in hospital. Derek helped her upstairs. In her room Meredith stood up so there was only an inch between them. Derek made a step to kiss her, she responded right after their lips crashed together. They fell on bed, Derek was on top of her halfway, trying to hold his weight off her. He was scared, it is a fact.

'' Derek, don't be scared, I am not going to broke, '' Meredith said pulling apart.

'' I am not scared, I just don't want to hurt you, '' Derek said.

'' You are not, unless you are stopping and pulling away, '' Meredith said.

'' No, I am not, '' Derek said and kissed her again.

This time Derek was braver. He wasn't that scared of breaking and hurting her. She felt the difference and started taking off his shirt. Derek stopped her.

'' What is it now ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Can you ? '' Derek asked concerned.

'' Yeah, why I am moving in that direction then ? '' Meredith used sarcasm.

'' I'm sorry. Of course. Tell me if there is anything stopping us, '' Derek said.

Meredith nod and they started undressing each other. There was like something roaring inside of them both. Like a voice inside their head '' God, it's been too long. '' It's like everything was supposed to happen, to get into this moment.

_Time passes. We grow up or grow down. We move forward or move backwards. The thing is that at some point you can't move forward, only backwards or be stuck. But maybe it is supposed to be like that. Maybe there are some feelings, some moments, that we can't let go, because they come back to us. Maybe everything is supposed to happen, so we know how to hold on to people, who we love, feelings we can't deny and moments we keep on repeating in our minds. And after those moments, feelings come back to us, there is just one thing we have to say : '' God, it's been too long. '' _


	24. The beginning

**Sorry, I haven't been updating lately. But I had exams, and those are important, the points I get, those are important when I go to university in 2 years. So pretty meaningful. **

**The second thing... I am making a timejump in my story, and it is coming to an end... At least I think so. But, I would like to hear your opinion. Let me know, review the story... It shouldn't be a big problem.**

**Liina  
**

4 months later...

Everybody from NCIS had gone back to D.C. , to do their job. Meredith and Derek have moved together in Meredith's house, Izzie and Alex are also living there. Meredith gave birth a week ago, the girl's name is Caitlin. Cristina and Owen are good together, Callie and Arizona are thinking about adoption, Addie is living with Mark again, but this time Derek is absolutely into this.

In Meredith's house...

Meredith was sitting on couch with Caitlin. Izzie was at work, Alex upstairs and Derek was buying groceries. It was so boring day, that nothing came from TV even. Meredith kept changing programs, in case anything comes. She looked back, when she saw Alex coming.

'' Hey, wanna join me ? '' Meredith asked.

'' Hey. Yeah. What are we watching ? '' Alex asked.

'' Nothing. Everything. You pick, '' Meredith said.

Alex smiled and sat down.

'' How is she ? '' Alex asked.

'' She's good I guess. She is so cute, '' Meredith said.

'' Yeah. All babies are cute, '' Alex agreed.

'' Wanna hold her ? '' Meredith asked and looked at her baby.

'' Sorry, I don't do babysitting or babies. I'll ruin them, '' Alex said.

'' Oh, then we have to grow uncle Alex, he's gonna be your godfather after all, '' Meredith talked to Caitlin. '' Now, let's go to uncle Alex's lap. Show him, that you are too cute to say no. ''

Meredith stood up with Caitlin.

'' What ? '' Alex was surprised.

'' What did I say wrong ? '' Meredith asked and placed Caitlin on Alex's arms. She kept on directing him, how to hold a baby, because Alex was shocked.

'' You're making me a godfather ? '' Alex asked.

'' Yeah. I think it sounds right. I mean, you are one of my closest friends, beside you are my doctor and know a couple of things others don't. I trust you Alex, '' Meredith said.

'' I... um, I have to confess something. About that secret... '' Alex started.

'' You didn't tell Derek, did you ? '' Meredith asked eyes wide.

'' No, not Derek. I accidentally slip and Addie started asking. I told her, since she is your doctor, and she has to know, for medical things. She didn't write it down or tell anyone. I'm sorry Mer, '' Alex said.

'' Oh... Well, I guess she had to know. I guess you're right. Whatever, I am not going to be mad at you for that. I still want you to be her godfather, '' Meredith said.

'' I am not a role model. I am screw-up, I make wrong decisions... Sure you want your child to know someone like that ? '' Alex asked.

'' Yeah, I do. Alex, we're the same. I have made wrong decisions too. Caitlin's mother is a screw-up, why not a godfather ? '' Meredith joked.

'' Right. So you're serious ? '' Alex asked and stopped laughing.

'' Yeah, death serious, '' Meredith said and turned serious.

'' You have tricked death a couple of times by yourself, '' Alex reminded her.

'' Alex ! '' Meredith got mad.

'' Sorry, what do you want me to say ? '' Alex asked.

'' Yes, would be a start, '' Meredith said and smiled.

'' Yes, whatever. Who is the godmother ? '' Alex asked.

'' Cristina. You'll make a good couple, '' Meredith said and joked.

'' Yang ! You are coupling me with Yang ? Cristina Yang ? Like the human robot ? Oh no, Mere, I am not raising this kid with Cristina, if you die, '' Alex said.

'' You and Cristina would be great parents, '' Meredith said and smiled.

Derek was rushing back to home. He had his things done. When he parked, he saw Owen there, waiting for him.

'' Hey, '' Owed greeted him.

'' Hey. What are you doing here ? '' Derek asked.

'' I need an advise, '' Owen said.

'' Sure, let's go inside. I have to drop food for Mere and Caitlin and I also miss them already, '' Derek said and smiled.

'' Sure. It can wait, '' Owen said and the walked in.

They heard talking from living room. Alex and Meredith were there.

''...'' Cristina. You'll make a good couple, '' Meredith said and joked.

'' Yang ! You are coupling me with Yang ? Cristina Yang ? Like the human robot ? Oh no, Mere, I am not raising this kid with Cristina, if you die, '' Alex said.

'' You and Cristina would be great parents, '' Meredith said and smiled.

'' What ? '' Owen said from the hallway.

'' Cristina is seeing Alex ? '' Derek asked confused.

'' What ? Alex are you seeing Cristina ? '' Meredith asked.

'' No, why should I ? I am with Izzie and Cristina is with Hunt, '' Alex protected himself.

'' Meredith, you just said that Cristina and Owen would be great parents.. Is Cristina pregnant ? Oh, what a fool I have been, '' Owen said angry and sad. He rushed away.

'' You might wanna clean this up, '' Alex said to Meredith.

Meredith nod and ran after Owen. He was outside.

'' Owen ! '' Meredith yelled.

'' What ? Anything else I need to know about her ? Anything huge like this ? '' Owen almost yelled at her.

'' There is nothing between Alex and Cristina. I was asking Alex to Caitlin's godfather, and he asked who the godmother is. I told him, it's Cristina of course and Alex freaked out for a sec. And I was just joking, if I and Derek die, then they would have to raise our baby. That's it. Alex and Cristina are just friends and co-workers. Nothing more, as far as I know, and I know everything about Cristina, '' Meredith said fast.

'' It is all about your baby ? '' Owen asked relieved.

'' Yes. Now go back, and I don't know, do what you were supposed to do, '' Meredith said and walked inside.

Alex was terrified inside, but Derek had took Caitlin from him.

'' So ? '' Alex asked.

'' It's okay. You can relax, '' Meredith said to him.

'' Oh, I missed my beautiful girlfriend, '' Derek said and took a step closer to her.

'' Mmm, I guess I missed my boyfriend while he was gone, '' Meredith said.

'' Oh, and do you know what I missed even more than my girlfriend ? '' Derek asked.

'' No, but I have a feeling that I'll find it out, '' Meredith said.

'' My beautiful daughter and also the kisses from my girl, '' Derek said and leaned over to kiss her, but she pulled away.

'' What is it ? '' he asked seeing Meredith stepping back.

'' You had something to do with Owen, deal with it first, '' Meredith said.

'' Yeah, right, '' Derek said clearly disappointed. Caitlin started to cry when Derek turned away from Meredith.

'' Give her to me. It's time to feed her, '' Meredith said.

'' Yeah. I wish I was fed too, like that, '' Derek smirked.

'' Derek, not funny, '' Meredith snapped.

Derek gave her the McDreamy smile and this time Meredith didn't pull away and she couldn't push him, since she was holding Caitlin. The little girl started crying again and then Derek pulled away. He smiled at Meredith, then signed Owen to come with him and they went to his office.

Meredith stood in doorway while Alex was looking at her on couch.

'' That was cold, '' Alex said.

'' I know, '' Meredith agreed.

'' Why did you pull away ? '' Alex asked.

'' I don't know. It was like a auto pilot. I guess my heart wants to be with him, but my head is scared. I guess that's why, '' Meredith said.

'' Oh... Maybe you should trust him entirely, I mean you are living together, you have a baby together and you love each other, '' Alex said.

'' You might be right. I'm gonna feed Caitlin now, '' Meredith said and left the living room.

'' Fools in love, '' Alex said and smiled.

30 minutes later...

Meredith was lying on her bed, she had just finished feeding Caitlin and her little girl was sleeping on her mother's chest. Meredith was thinking about Derek, was she really ready to start something serious. There was never a plan of pushing Derek out of her life... they have a child together. She won't do it, but being close to him hurts. Specially when he had to choose, he chose someone over her. She was not the one who got picked.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when the door was opened. It was Derek. Meredith carefully placed Caitlin on crib and Derek came next to her on bed.

'' We need to talk, '' Derek said.

Meredith simply nod.

'' Why did you pull away ? I thought we were good. I mean, seriously good. I thought we were over the past and trying to be a family, '' Derek said.

'' I can't trust you. You keep choosing everything over me, I can't be sure, that once I let you close again, you'll walk away. I am scared, '' Meredith said and looked away.

'' Meredith... Do you want me to back off ? Or even move out ? '' Derek asked.

'' I... No, I want you to be here. If not for me, then for Caitlin. She needs a father, '' Meredith said.

'' Okay. I'll stay. I'll wait for you, '' Derek said softly.

'' Yeah, you promised to do that before, that ended with Rose. I am not keeping you, if you want, you can go date other people. We both know, I am not ready for things you want, '' Meredith said.

'' Meredith... I love you. With Rose, all I thought about was you, I even called her Meredith a couple of times. When I was on date with Sydney Heron, I saw you and wanted to leave the bar with you. I went crazy, when I thought you slept with Mark. I thought you were moving on and that's why I didn't believe you... I am so sorry about all the pain I caused you, '' Derek said.

'' I know. I love you too, I guess I could give it a try, but we have to move slow, '' Meredith said.

'' Yeah, baby steps, '' Derek said and smiled.

Derek pulled her to his arms and kissed her. She responded right away. He ran his arms through her body. Meredith was playing with his hair. He pulled her on top of him as they kissed. She felt the feeling, that makes her want more and more, though she knew, she couldn't. So she pulled away.

'' What's wrong now ? '' Derek asked.

'' Just kissing you in bed makes me want more and more, but we can't, not yet, '' Meredith said.

'' I'm sorry. I know, you are not healed. But does it mean that I can't kiss you ? '' Derek asked.

'' No, you can kiss me, you just have to know when to stop, '' Meredith said.

'' Mmm... Sounds good to me, '' Derek said and picked up where they left.

'' What did Owen want ? '' Meredith asked after they pulled apart.

'' Oh, I had to talk to you about that too. Um, Owen needed advise, '' Derek asked.

'' About ? '' Meredith was curious.

'' Um... he is planning to propose and he needed advise. Beside he thought I know how to handle these things, since I have been with you longer and he also thought I have proposed to you before, but you turned me down, '' Derek said.

'' Wow ! Cristina is getting married. I am happy for her, but I always thought Izzie is the first one of us to get married, '' Meredith said.

'' Yeah, but Alex has time, '' Derek said.

'' Mmm. Yeah, I have to tell Alex too, '' Meredith said, starting to get up.

'' Wait. Give me a second, '' Derek said and stood up.

He opened the drawer and took something Meredith didn't see.

'' What is it ? You start to scare me, '' Meredith said.

Derek didn't answer. He turned around got on one knee and opened the box. There was a ring. Beautiful ring.

'' Meredith Grey, will you marry me ? '' Derek asked and looked at her hopeful.

_You never know the biggest moments of your life. You never know, which day will change you, but there are moments that change us. Moments, when you grow up, become surgeon, become a parent, the moments. You never know the day is the biggest of your life, when you wake up. In morning, everything is the same... everything could happen, but not always happens. Some days are better than others. And this day... It is my day. At least I think so. It is the day everything begins all over again. It's not the end. Today is just a beginning. _


	25. Here's to the new world

Derek turned around got on one knee and opened the box. There was a ring. Beautiful ring.

'' Meredith Grey, will you marry me ? '' Derek asked and looked at her hopeful.

Meredith didn't reply, she was stunned.

'' Meredith, will you marry me ? '' Derek asked again.

No words from Meredith.

'' Tell me anything. Blew me off or say yes, just say anything, '' Derek said.

'' Derek... '' Meredith said.

'' Will you marry me ? '' Derek asked the third time.

'' Derek... Of course I will, but not right away, '' Meredith smiled.

Derek put a ring on her finger and kissed her. They fell back on the bed kissing.

Suddenly the phone rang.

'' Cristina, '' Meredith said and picked up.

'' I'm gonna go down, '' Derek said and left.

'' Talk me Cristina, '' Meredith said to Cristina.

_'' You never guess what just happened to me, '' _Cristina said.

'' You never guess what happened to me, '' Meredith said.

_'' I'm engaged, '' _Cristina cheered.

'' Me too, '' Meredith said.

_'' What ? ''_ Cristina asked.

'' He proposed about 5 minutes ago. What about Owen ? ''

_'' About 5 minutes yeah. It's so amazing. ''_

'' I know. We're getting married. ''

_'' Again... ''_

'' This time it will work, it has to. ''

_'' I know. It will. Are we having a double wedding ? '' _

'' A small double wedding ? ''

_'' A small double wedding, so we don't have to do it alone, the embarrassing big white dress and bridesmaids and walking down the aisle. ''_

'' Yep, this is it. Beside, then we can run away together. ''

_'' Yeah. I'm coming over, so we can talk. ''_

'' I'll be waiting for you. Caitlin is sleeping, so I can come. ''

_'' See you soo, ''_ Cristina said and hang up.

Meredith smiled and hanged up too. Then she went downstairs. Derek was watching TV, Alex was gone.

'' Where is Alex ? '' Meredith asked and sat down.

'' Izzie came. Alex said he had something important to say to her. I don't know more, '' Derek said.

'' I guess they are coming down soon, so we can tell them about the news. Beside Cristina is coming over too, '' Meredith said.

'' Mmmm, I love you so much, '' Derek said and kissed her cheek. Then he pulled her close to him and they watched TV, cuddling on couch.

15 minutes later...

'' Meredith ! '' Izzie yelled as she came down.

'' Izzie, I have a news for you, '' Meredith said and stood up.

'' Me too, '' Izzie said.

Doorbell rang and Caitlin started to cry.

'' Derek, can you please check on her ? '' Meredith asked.

'' I'll check the door, '' Izzie said.

'' I can check her, if you ask nicely, '' Derek flirted.

Meredith took a step closer to Derek, who had came to her again. She put her hands around his neck and kissed him softly.

'' Please, can you check on our little girl, so I can have a girl talk with Izzie and Cristina ? '' Meredith asked smiling.

'' Yes, I can do that, but you have to make that up to your fiance, '' Derek said.

'' I will, '' she said and kissed her quick one more time.

Derek went upstairs, while Izzie and Cristina came to living room.

'' Okay, Izzie go, your news first, '' Meredith said.

Izzie smiled and showed her hand. There was a ring.

'' Alex proposed and I said yes, '' Izzie cheered.

Meredith and Cristina shared a look and smiled.

'' What ? Aren't you happy for me ? Did Alex say anything to you ? '' Izzie asked as her smile disappeared for a second.

'' No, '' Meredith and Cristina said in chorus and showed their hands too.

'' It can't be, '' Izzie said.

'' But it is, '' Cristina said.

Izzie hugged them both.

'' We started internship together and now we are getting married together. Yay ! '' Izzie cheered.

'' Yay ! '' Meredith and Cristina said, but less cheerful.

'' I get to plan our wedding ? '' Izzie asked.

'' We're marrying together ? '' Cristina asked.

'' Of course, you think I want to plan 3 weddings. Of course I would like to, but 3 weddings in same time is so much better, '' Izzie said.

Alex walked down.

'' What did I miss ? '' Alex asked, when he saw very happy Izzie and less cheerful Meredith and Cristina.

'' Izzie is planning an triple wedding, '' Cristina said.

Meredith went to Alex and gave him a hug.

'' Congrats man, '' Meredith said.

'' Thanks. Why is Izzie planning a triple wedding ? '' Alex asked.

'' Because we are getting married together. Me and Derek, you and Izzie and Cristina with Owen, '' Meredith said and let go off Alex.

'' Congrats to you too, '' Alex said to Meredith.

Alex went on, he gave a kiss to Izzie. At first he wanted to hug Cristina, but just in case he offered his hand.

'' Congrats Cristina, '' Alex said.

'' Thanks Evil Spawn. Congrats to you too, '' Cristina said.

'' We have to call everybody and have a dinner together tonight, so we can tell our news, '' Izzie said.

'' Fine, '' Meredith and Cristina said.

**GA**

Later that night in Meredith's place.

Izzie had made dinner and everybody were sitting behind the table. There were Mark, Addie, Lexie, George, Callie, Arizona, Owen, Cristina, Meredith, Derek, Izzie, Alex, Bailey with Tuck and Chief with Adele. And little Caitlin was sitting in Meredith's lap, or actually she was so half- asleep.

During the dinner, they didn't talk much, just small talk, but after they finished Izzie came with champagne bottles.

'' I have a toast and a news, '' Izzie said.

'' So have I, '' Derek said.

'' Me too, '' Owen said.

They stood up.

'' First I'm saying a toast: Here's to the future days. We have gone through a lot and we survived. We were strangers, but now we are a family. We have fought and we have cried. We have hated each other and we fell in love. I'm saying a toast for all of us, so we can stay friends for a long time. And it is also to a future... So here's to the future day's, '' Izzie said and everybody rose their glasses.

'' Here's to the future days, '' they repeated. Everybody drank champagne, beside Meredith – she had an orange juice.

'' And I have a news and an invitation too. Alex and I are getting married and you all are invited to our wedding, '' Izzie said.

'' Congratulations, '' everybody mumbled.

Izzie sat down and took Alex's hand to hers.

'' Listen up everybody, I also have a news, '' Owen said.

Everybody looked at him.

'' I am engaged with Cristina. Our wedding is on the same day with Alex and Izzie. I hope I see everybody there, '' Owen said.

'' Congratulations, '' came from table.

'' And to make the day perfect. As they say 3 is the rule of court, then me and Meredith are marrying the same day the same place and you all get your 3rd invitation, '' Derek said.

'' Congratulations, '' came for the third time.

Derek took Meredith's hand, kissed her cheek and whispered: '' I love you. ''

'' Anyone else has a news or is it all ? '' Izzie asked.

'' Actually I have a news, '' Addison said.

'' Are you getting married ? '' Derek joked.

'' No, not yet. But I am going to be a mother, '' Addison said.

Mark was smiling on her side, he was so proud, that Addison was pregnant and they were living together.

'' We're adopting, '' Callie said.

'' Congratulations, '' everybody said.

'' I am dating Lexie officially from now on, '' George said.

'' Very nice O'Malley, '' Alex said.

'' Congratulations, '' everybody mumbled.

'' Anything else ? I have 5 interns, 4 of them are getting married, one will get later. I think you have grown a lot in those 4 years, when you were interns sleeping with attendings, failing exams and cutting LVAD-wires. You have grown and I am proud of you, '' Bailey said.

'' We grew into family, and that's it, '' Chief said.

'' And discover a whole new world, '' Cristina said.

'' Here's to the new world ! '' Meredith and Alex said a toast.

'' Here's to the new world, '' everybody rose their glasses and sap.

**GA**

_I have grown. I'm a big girl now, engaged and a mother. 4 years ago I was just an intern sleeping with her boss. I was surgery hungry. I had my mother with Alzheimer in nursing home. I was forced to come back home, but came out that it was the right choice to make. I found the love of my life, good friends, that are my family and the best working place of all. I love this place here and everybody that surround me. I am a grown woman, is my point. And soon I won't be Meredith Grey anymore, but Meredith Shepherd, or Meredith Grey-Shepherd, I haven't decided yet. Well, this is my story from slutty intern to engagement. My own happily ever after, at least I think so. And so the toast: Here's to the new world !_

**This is the end. I hope you liked, I hope you will give me a review and I hope if I start something new, then you will read it too. It was nice writing this story. I haven't decided yet, if I am writing a sequel, but you can help me decide – review. The story line is open, so I have a place to go from here... Anyway, review and I wanna thank you all for reading and for letting me know about it. Hope you liked it :) .**

**Liina**


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